Mortymoose's Weber & Buitebraai Offerings to the HO's Gods! - Waiter!There's a Condom in my Soup!

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Mortymoose

Mortymoose

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Mortymoose said:
Sometime as you go along in life and you stop to ponder just how lucky your life turned out to be all things considered. Perhaps you have your feet up next to a roaring fire, The Eagles singing quietly in the background about some hotel in California, you take a sip on your ice cold beer, the dog lifts his lazy eyes from his sleeping position and you think to yourself, "Not too shabby for fifty plus Moose, everything is going smoothly!"

But somewhere, somehow, you just have the wee feeling that the Universe ain't happy that you are sailing through life, enjoying it, "Feck! You Moose!, Life on this planet is meant to be toiling, sweat and tears, let me send you some pain just to feck up your journey!"

I guess the feelings got stronger around the last Christmas dinner table. The kids all young adults now, suiping away in a merry mood down at the other end of the long well loaded table....

I had mother in law, The English HO and my younger brother who happens to be my neighbour. My younger brother started to develop symptoms of Parkinsons around 42. He sat there doing a wee bit of wobbling, Later his son and I would both have to lift him to his feet so that he could take the slow walk home.

I was asked on boxing day if I had a good Christmas day. I am a person that talks straight, can be brutal but that I guess is just how I roll so I replied, "Nope, not really, as I sat there at that morbid end of the table I was thinking that this is just not the same, My dad dead, My father in law dead, My mate Stennie dead and my only Brother in law dead!" So now, all the people I would have kuiered with ten years ago are gone!"

Little did I know that my dear brother, Ol' Shakin Stevens was about to make my week a week from bloody hell, I thank the Universe and that bitch fate for what they were about to throw my way in the coming days!

.........to be cont.....,
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It was Monday morning around 03H00 when my cellphone started to wail, "Uncle Moose, my dad is in a lot of pain, please come help!", my nephew pleaded.

Within minutes I was over at my brother's house, in his lounge I found an audience and he laying sprawled out on the carpet, his head propped up with a pillow, the left arm shaking violently as a Parkinson's sufferer does. My nephew briefed me that my brother had been having hallucinations, his legs felt like they were on fire and at one staged had "locked"

My brother mumbled something inaudible to me. The second time I could make it out , "That bastard has dislocated my shoulder", he wailed as he attempted to force a smile.

Now I am a big lad, my baby brother is four years younger than me and he is known as "Wee Man!" , in jest due to his height, he towers above me by an entire head. Now his son is of the same height and twice as wide, a gentle giant of a man with a big mop of dark hair. He lives with his father and has been assisting him almost every third hour. Helping him up off the toilet, helping him move in his bed, get up off a seat and it transpired he tried to get his dad off the floor and yanked his shoulder apart.....

I climbed in my car and in the darkness of the morn headed down to the local hospital to get the ambulance....

"No sirens and lights please, every is asleep in the street...", I pleaded....

Needless to say the lit up the hood so much that it reminded me of Club Trammps back in the late 80's

Cut to the chase, my boet was hospitalized for three days and becoming frustrated got discharged on the Thursday morning.....

It was around 17H30 when my cellphone once again lit up..... "Uncle Moose, Uncle Moose, my dad has fallen, he is not breathing, come quickly......." , my nephew said in distress...

My stressful week from the Universe just kicked up a notch.....

...to be cont.....

(I know this is a braai thread, but I am braaing later today and anyhow, you guys are my mates! even that Pineapple oke in the Pedi caravan!) ;)
 
PoppieChoffel

PoppieChoffel

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Mortymoose said:
It was Monday morning around 03H00 when my cellphone started to wail, "Uncle Moose, my dad is in a lot of pain, please come help!", my nephew pleaded.

Within minutes I was over at my brother's house, in his lounge I found an audience and he laying sprawled out on the carpet, his head propped up with a pillow, the left arm shaking violently as a Parkinson's sufferer does. My nephew briefed me that my brother had been having hallucinations, his legs felt like they were on fire and at one staged had "locked"

My brother mumbled something inaudible to me. The second time I could make it out , "That bastard has dislocated my shoulder", he wailed as he attempted to force a smile.

Now I am a big lad, my baby brother is four years younger than me and he is known as "Wee Man!" , in jest due to his height, he towers above me by an entire head. Now his son is of the same height and twice as wide, a gentle giant of a man with a big mop of dark hair. He lives with his father and has been assisting him almost every third hour. Helping him up off the toilet, helping him move in his bed, get up off a seat and it transpired he tried to get his dad off the floor and yanked his shoulder apart.....

I climbed in my car and in the darkness of the morn headed down to the local hospital to get the ambulance....

"No sirens and lights please, every is asleep in the street...", I pleaded....

Needless to say the lit up the hood so much that it reminded me of Club Trammps back in the late 80's

Cut to the chase, my boet was hospitalized for three days and becoming frustrated got discharged on the Thursday morning.....

It was around 17H30 when my cellphone once again lit up..... "Uncle Moose, Uncle Moose, my dad has fallen, he is not breathing, come quickly......." , my nephew said in distress...

My stressful week from the Universe just kicked up a notch.....

...to be cont.....

(I know this is a braai thread, but I am braaing later today and anyhow, you guys are my mates! even that Pineapple oke in the Pedi caravan!) ;)
Click to expand...

Fires are mos also for gathering around to tell stories :giggle:
 
Mortymoose

Mortymoose

Honorary Master
Joined
May 26, 2013
Messages
13,287
Mortymoose said:
It was Monday morning around 03H00 when my cellphone started to wail, "Uncle Moose, my dad is in a lot of pain, please come help!", my nephew pleaded.

Within minutes I was over at my brother's house, in his lounge I found an audience and he laying sprawled out on the carpet, his head propped up with a pillow, the left arm shaking violently as a Parkinson's sufferer does. My nephew briefed me that my brother had been having hallucinations, his legs felt like they were on fire and at one staged had "locked"

My brother mumbled something inaudible to me. The second time I could make it out , "That bastard has dislocated my shoulder", he wailed as he attempted to force a smile.

Now I am a big lad, my baby brother is four years younger than me and he is known as "Wee Man!" , in jest due to his height, he towers above me by an entire head. Now his son is of the same height and twice as wide, a gentle giant of a man with a big mop of dark hair. He lives with his father and has been assisting him almost every third hour. Helping him up off the toilet, helping him move in his bed, get up off a seat and it transpired he tried to get his dad off the floor and yanked his shoulder apart.....

I climbed in my car and in the darkness of the morn headed down to the local hospital to get the ambulance....

"No sirens and lights please, every is asleep in the street...", I pleaded....

Needless to say the lit up the hood so much that it reminded me of Club Trammps back in the late 80's

Cut to the chase, my boet was hospitalized for three days and becoming frustrated got discharged on the Thursday morning.....

It was around 17H30 when my cellphone once again lit up..... "Uncle Moose, Uncle Moose, my dad has fallen, he is not breathing, come quickly......." , my nephew said in distress...

My stressful week from the Universe just kicked up a notch.....

...to be cont.....

(I know this is a braai thread, but I am braaing later today and anyhow, you guys are my mates! even that Pineapple oke in the Pedi caravan!) ;)
Click to expand...

Residing in a small town has it's advantages and today would prove to be one of those.

I have an Afrikaans mate that was a pilot down at the local airport, flying helicopters out to the DeBeers Marine boats and often I got to go for a flight. The one evening they were perform a night practice flight over the meandering Orange River under the luminous white glow of a full moon and I was invited. J introduced me to a new pilot, G.

G hailed from Joburg and is a highly skilled paramedic to boot, one of those okes you see that lands on the Freeways and assists to stabilize folk at accident or shooting scenes. He also had years of experience doing similar work in KZN and was now loving and living in Namibia.

J would be leaving soon for greener pastures and G was to takeover from him. When we had his farewell ten years ago, J remarked to me, "Moose if you are ever in a life threatening medical situation call G before you contact the local hospital!! This guy is highly skilled"

Ironically G and I became mates and in fact were camping together at BoPlaas a few weeks back. He was also at a braai at my place on Christmas Eve and got to meet my boet for the first time. Little did we know what role G was about to play in my brother's shaky life!

My brother lives four or five houses down the road from my office so I took up a brisk pace to see just what the hell was happening over there. At house two my nephew called again, in tears, "Uncle Moose, please hurry, my father has turned blue! Hurry please!" At this point I realized that things were getting real and started to call G, giving him the address. I also managed to call a Doctor friend of mine, 'Doc! It's my brother, get an ambulance over to his place asap!", I spoke hastily as I entered his front door.

His two adult kids were in hysterics, crying and wailing....."Where is he?", I shouted, They pointed down the hallway to his bedroom.

On entering the bedroom I immediately saw my brother laying on his back at an odd angle, bright red blood spot on the wall and a wee smudge of blood on the cream carpet. What caught my attention most was the colour of his face, the blue was there, but there was also a slight hue of purple and grey!

Now this may sound strange to some of you, but I have been in "situations of distress " before where I had to assist people and in all instances over the years I always remained calm, clear and concise! But this here was my own baby brother,

As I rushed and knelt next to his lifeless body a very deep calm came over me, difficult to describe this moment, yes, surreal, but some strange clarity was with me.....

.....to cont.....
 
RanzB

RanzB

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Joined
Jul 4, 2007
Messages
29,562
Mortymoose said:
Now I am a big lad, my baby brother is four years younger than me and he is known as "Wee Man!" , in jest due to his height, he towers above me by an entire head. Now his son is of the same height and twice as wide, a gentle giant of a man with a big mop of dark hair. He lives with his father and has been assisting him almost every third hour. Helping him up off the toilet, helping him move in his bed, get up off a seat and it transpired he tried to get his dad off the floor and yanked his shoulder apart.....
Click to expand...

What a great young man.

flytek said:
Me braaing at a friends...he's off on an oil rig and i'm braaing for a couple of ladies and kids...
Oh ya and i'm drinking grenache wines cause thats the plan for this years barrel and i need to make sure i like it.
View attachment 1227078
Click to expand...

R35+ per chop

#Lambpricesmustfall
 
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