Mother-of-two says she’s had 80 affairs with married men and she’s proud
Louise Van Der Velde, 43, says she is living every day like it is her last, juggling multiple affairs with numerous lovers.
She said that the weeks after Valentine’s Day are the busiest time for people looking for affairs because people realise they are in ‘dead’ relationships. Louise, who says she is a sex therapist, has even gone as far as saying that her lovers’ wives know they’re cheating but turn a blind eye because they have gone off sex. She said: ‘Traditional marriage counselling often fails because it is based on a model which has not been not reformed for 150 years.
‘All this “till death do us part” nonsense assumes monogamy works for everyone. This is not realistic and not in line with human nature. In order for love and passion to re-enter a marriage, there are other ways. ‘This is why living my sex life to the max and educating people about the future of love is my life’s work.
‘People should judge less and just have more great sex. You sure as heck can tell the ones who need it most – the ones who are unhappy. Life’s too short to stick to sex with only one partner.’ Mrs Van Der Velde, from Harrogate, North Yorkshire, said she first started cheating in the last years of her marriage to her late husband who died suddenly aged 34 in March 2004. She said: ‘We decided to embark on an open relationship in the last few years before he died. I have carried on the same way ever since. His death made me realise you have to seize the day and make the most of every day.
‘We’ve all seen those couples in restaurants on February 14th staring vacantly at each other and realising they have absolutely nothing in common beyond their children and a shared commitment to stay together because that’s what you should do.
‘Key dates like Valentine’s, Christmas and summer holidays are a big trigger point for affairs by both sexes. ‘It really puts a relationship under the spotlight and makes many unhappy spouses realise that there has got to be more to life than having rubbish sex with the same boring partner for the next 50 years. ‘Lots of wives only have themselves to blame when their husbands cheats. They lose interest in sex and effectively abandon them in the bedroom.
‘All their effort goes into their children and running things domestically and they devote no attention to their marriage. It’s no wonder so many men cheat. Obviously men can go off sex, too – and I don’t blame their female partners for cheating either. ‘I am not looking for another husband and I have no interest in a monogamous relationship. I want to meet sexually driven men who are on the same page is me. ‘Around 60% of couples will experience cheating in their relationship. If they were more open about sex, there would be much less betrayal. That is the message I am trying to get across in the events that I hold.’ Mrs Van Der Velde runs seminars for couples and singles to speak openly about their fantasies and what they want from sex through her company Future Love. Attendees then have the option of attending events where they can have sex with other partygoers. She meets all her lovers on Illicit Encounters.