Mugabe to appoint new war veterans as real ones are all dead

[DigitalSoldier]

http://www.hayibo.co.za/articles/view/980

HARARE. Zimbabwean despot Robert Mugabe will confer official war veteran status on 500,000 teenaged boys this weekend as part of his 85th birthday celebrations, after it emerged that the last genuine veteran of the liberation war died of cholera this morning. The new war veterans will be tasked with "rebuilding Zimbabwe by hitting MDC pigs with half-bricks".

A saddened Mugabe said this morning that his veterans would be sorely missed, especially now that he would have to stop eating nightingale tongues long enough to go out and find some more people who could hit his opponents with half-bricks.

"The war is over but the battle continues," said Mugabe, dabbing merlot off his chin. "The British homosexuals are everywhere. And as Zimbabwean science has shown, there is only one cure for Britishness and homosexuality: a half-brick to the face."

He said he had tasked his aides with finding 500,000 teenaged boys who would be given official war veteran status and who could be "handed the half-brick of destiny, to totally mash up the heads of the imperialist dogs".

However aides who did not wish to be named confirmed this morning that they are struggling to find 500,000 teenaged boys healthy enough to pick up a half-brick.

 

[TelkomUseless]

It's a shame that Bob is still in power. Even if he "shares' with MDC, he is still screwing them. He fcked the whole Zim nicely, and laughing all the way to the banks in Asia...

 

[Alan]

War vets of Mugabe's liberation struggle only lasted for 28 years. There are still war vets from WW1 alive nearly a 100 years later.

 

[Mila]

huh?

And there are still 500 000 idiots that will follow him......

 

[Sneeky]

I really enjoy a chuckle with hayibo

 

[DigitalSoldier]

I really enjoy a chuckle with hayibo

Agreed

 

[Other Pineapple Smurf]

I don't think they could find 5 half-bricks in that country