Need help to reword my website

[tts]

Hi,

I have a website that I created on my own using the do it yourself tools.

I feel as though I have undervalued what I do for the market.

I also feel as though competition is though and I need to show and tell as much as I can. Need the services of a great PR person or someone that can do a proper write up for my website.

Await responses

 

[Johnatan56]

What does your website look like currently, just fur curiosity's sake?

 

[ToxicBunny]

Hi,

I have a website that I created on my own using the do it yourself tools.

I feel as though I have undervalued what I do for the market.

I also feel as though competition is though and I need to show and tell as much as I can. Need the services of a great PR person or someone that can do a proper write up for my website.

Await responses

I can forward you at least 2 copywriters contact details.

They start at R400 per hour, and go up from there depending on the complexity of the job you want them to do.

 

[TEXTILE GUY]

Hi,

I have a website that I created on my own using the do it yourself tools.

I feel as though I have undervalued what I do for the market.

I also feel as though competition is though and I need to show and tell as much as I can. Need the services of a great PR person or someone that can do a proper write up for my website.

Await responses

Do post a link - difficult to critique when there is nothing to see .... and, with all the forumites input you may save a bit of loot ....

 

[dunkyd]

Mine too seems to be rubbish ? Says nothing about 40 years experience etc. Do I just edit it myself?
Thanks
Www.tangotrading.co.za

 

[ITCynic]

I can offer you guys website revamps at decent rates if you PM me

 

[noob_saibot]

Mine too seems to be rubbish ? Says nothing about 40 years experience etc. Do I just edit it myself?
Thanks
Www.tangotrading.co.za

You may think it's bad, but the real measure of success is the click-throughs and the amount of time people spend on it.

The site itself is straight forward, which is a good plus initially.

Your home page text is a bit small, making it hard to read.

Also, the info you provide on your partners isn't structured (in the form of bullets or something else).

You should also structure the products you offer in a more concise manner (so that each product is easily identifiable).

Just needs a couple of touch-ups here and there, but a decent effort (if built on your own).

Not too sure about keeping your photo on the contact page, but I think that has some value-add to the site (maybe visitors might think "mature-looking older white male, so he must have x amount of exp in the industry").

I'm not too familiar with the behavioural psychology of the market you sell to, but if it is the type of market that the customers would be willing to place orders online, you could actually streamline your site from a purely advertising/marketing point of view to a direct sales channel.

Hope my info helps/makes sense.

 

[Solitude]

You would be better off buying a template and using that as your site.

In my opinion the site looks unprofessional. Especially the bottom bit. Also the email address is shown in two places on the site. This is a big no-no. I mean, compare your site to other sites. Do you ever see an email address shown on a site?

Or do you see a Contact page?

The links in the header looks wrong and out of place. As if no css is applied to that part of the page.

The bottom piece where the companies are listed is unreadable. Your problem isn't so much a copywriter but rather a professional looking website. After that you can look at a copywriter.

The picture looks nice though, as does the white box under it. The site as it is currently can be transformed into something nice.

 

[saor]

Also the email address is shown in two places on the site.

On the contact page the two email adresses...the one time it's all lower case the other time it's all uppercase. Looks really untidy and hastily slapped together. Also the spacing between the ':' and the word 'email' is different between the two addresses.

Your menu again - you use lower & upper case for 'Home', but then you use all uppercase for 'PRODUCTS' and 'CONTACT US'.

'Phones' should read 'Phone numbers', or 'Contact Details'.

A few obvious mistakes:

As on organization we are fully committed to provide

We try our best to ensure that to ensure that there

If you're a web designer/developer - that is some incredibly lazy work. If you have no design experience - fair enough but get someone to go over that for you or stick to a template builder and have someone proof-read it before going live. There's no excuse for spelling & grammatical errors on something that's representative of your company.

 

[nic777]

+1 For good content writing, best speak to a freelance copywriter to assist.

I can forward you at least 2 copywriters contact details.

They start at R400 per hour, and go up from there depending on the complexity of the job you want them to do.

 

[Sly21C]

The Home page is brilliantly done, except for the bottom of the page. Culprits being the large font, the capital letters and the white background.

The Products page is again not too visually appealing because of the large fonts, capital letters (it's as if you are screaming) and the white background. The white background doesn't camouflage well with the Home page top part of the website page. Also, bullet the services or products you are offering, it mustn't be a big paragraph or an essay.

The photo is good, people will know exactly who they are dealing with.

Well done if you did it yourself.

 

[Johnatan56]

We have launched this brand new website to help us get closer to our customers and to serve them better
sounds wrong, rather "provide better service"

In this website you will find detailed information about ... information such as contact details, photo gallery, etc.
On this website and please don't list two things and then say etc., just list the two as examples, implying that there is more.

By the way please do leave a message in our guest book!
Don't use that on a company website, it's supposed to be formal.

We would continuously keep updating this website with the latest information so that you are always up to date with all our activities, new initiatives & offerings.
We would like to keep this website updated with current information so that you are aware of our activities, initiatives and offerings. Avoid using &, it's an abbreviation, don't use it for formal.

Will check over the rest later.

 

[Johnatan56]

If you have any feedback on how we can make our new website please do contact us and we would like to hear from you.
improve our new website, as

Our Vision is to offer the best products and services to our customers. To always exceed customer expectations resulting in customer delight. Our mission is to provide highest possible quality at the right price.
Suggest you use and, so it fits in with mission, like the wording a lot, nice work.

We exist because of our customer
plural, customers

We now strive to take our organization to the next level so that we can serve our customers even better and continue to keep them fully satisfied.
in order to provide better service to our, remove the italics piece

As on organization we are fully committed to provide the best possible service at every point to all our customers.
an, consider removing the italics due to ambiguity and confusion.

We try our best to ensure that to ensure that there is absolutely no slippage in our customer service.
remove, wrote it twice. Sure you want to use slippage? Try dissatisfaction?

So you are free to contact us any time and we very much look forward to serving you.
Feel free, us at any, consider revising

That last part with all the capitals looks really bad, consider making it a small list that is written underneath each other.
Also, the part where you mention your vision, box that as well.
Last thing, your motto is cut off at the bottom, "Hardware you can trust"

Under contact us: You picture should be to the left of the writing.

Under products: make it a list, not giant capitals for the inventory items.
If you have any feedback on how we can make our new website better please do contact us. We would like to hear from you.
Think I corrected it earlier already, reuse that.