"Okay, but who is the female"

MickeyD

RIP
Joined
Oct 4, 2010
Messages
139,117
Morgan Freeman hasn't narrated a documentary about this yet, so the question probably doesn't yet have an answer...
Being more of a Natural Curiosity, I'd prefer Sir David Attenborough to narrate...
 

Chevauxza

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2014
Messages
216
Do you know how many times I've been asked this question in the past two months that I've been in a relationship?

It seems many straight people, even liberal ones, simply cannot wrap their head around the idea of a relationship existing without a female in it. Even some of my friends who I would normally consider intelligent cannot seem to understand this. This past weekend they asked which one of us they should call 'him' and which one 'her.' When I said that we're both guys and thus both 'him', they said that that makes no sense. I was dumbstruck, because I was the one thinking their logic makes no sense at all.

I don't think most people mean it offensively, but it is actually rather offensive because there's this unspoken idea that a relationship cannot exist without a 'female' in it. If there was a female in my relationship, I would be straight. I really don't understand it. The entire point of a gay relationship is that it involves two men, so why is it so difficult to understand that it's a relationship between two men, in terms of the 'roles' played in it?

I've never heard someone ask the same thing of a lesbian couple, so why does the question come up so often when gay couples are discussed? I swear, I'm so tired of being asked this question by now that I really want to rip out my hair whenever someone asks me.

...getting back to the topic at hand now.

My response is usually: "That is like asking which chopstick is the fork."

That normally does the trick.
 
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