"Okay, but who is the female"

B

binkybozo

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2006
Messages
784
Zewp said:
Do you know how many times I've been asked this question in the past two months that I've been in a relationship?

It seems many straight people, even liberal ones, simply cannot wrap their head around the idea of a relationship existing without a female in it. Even some of my friends who I would normally consider intelligent cannot seem to understand this. This past weekend they asked which one of us they should call 'him' and which one 'her.' When I said that we're both guys and thus both 'him', they said that that makes no sense. I was dumbstruck, because I was the one thinking their logic makes no sense at all.

I don't think most people mean it offensively, but it is actually rather offensive because there's this unspoken idea that a relationship cannot exist without a 'female' in it. If there was a female in my relationship, I would be straight. I really don't understand it. The entire point of a gay relationship is that it involves two men, so why is it so difficult to understand that it's a relationship between two men, in terms of the 'roles' played in it?

I've never heard someone ask the same thing of a lesbian couple, so why does the question come up so often when gay couples are discussed? I swear, I'm so tired of being asked this question by now that I really want to rip out my hair whenever someone asks me.
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My wife and I have gotten asked "but, who is the guy?" During our time together. I just figured it is because we are both femme. We usually just roll our eyes and ignore the question. Have to admit though it did it bother me the one time another lesbian couple asked us "who is the butch one in the relationship?"
 
STS

STS

Mafia Detective
Joined
Jan 4, 2009
Messages
32,798
fanie.dry said:
remind me of this joke i once heard...

guy goes to jail. big dude looking to get frisky asks him "do you want to be the wife, or the husband?"
guy thinking he would rather send it, then bend it so he says "i'll be the hubby"
so big dude says "ok, now get over here and suck your wife's d1ck!"
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:D
 
STS

STS

Mafia Detective
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Messages
32,798
Garson007 said:
I want to try a poly relationship at least once.
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just remember, there is a difference between poly and **** buddies :p some people can't tell the difference. it's the same as being monogamous is to one night stands :p
 
D

dreamrobin

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2013
Messages
645
Zewp said:
Do you know how many times I've been asked this question in the past two months that I've been in a relationship?

It seems many straight people, even liberal ones, simply cannot wrap their head around the idea of a relationship existing without a female in it. Even some of my friends who I would normally consider intelligent cannot seem to understand this. This past weekend they asked which one of us they should call 'him' and which one 'her.' When I said that we're both guys and thus both 'him', they said that that makes no sense. I was dumbstruck, because I was the one thinking their logic makes no sense at all.

I don't think most people mean it offensively, but it is actually rather offensive because there's this unspoken idea that a relationship cannot exist without a 'female' in it. If there was a female in my relationship, I would be straight. I really don't understand it. The entire point of a gay relationship is that it involves two men, so why is it so difficult to understand that it's a relationship between two men, in terms of the 'roles' played in it?

I've never heard someone ask the same thing of a lesbian couple, so why does the question come up so often when gay couples are discussed? I swear, I'm so tired of being asked this question by now that I really want to rip out my hair whenever someone asks me.
Click to expand...

Lesbians get asked the same, people want to know who is giving and who is receiving, just so they can picture it correctly and judge you accordingly.
 
supersunbird

supersunbird

Honorary Master
Joined
Oct 1, 2005
Messages
60,152
STS said:
just remember, there is a difference between poly and **** buddies :p some people can't tell the difference. it's the same as being monogamous is to one night stands :p
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You are right (did I just say that?)
 
faniebraai

faniebraai

RIP
Joined
Dec 7, 2010
Messages
78,906
Electric said:
To quote AfricanTech - How will you know unless you try?

And that doesn't mean you need to go stick every fricking device up your anus now either.

I can just see the headline "Fanie went in dry, died from internal crocodile bite"
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haha

as i child, when i got sick, my mom gave me these little fscking pills i had to shove up my poophole to stop my from shooting cats. it is one of the most unpleasant experiences of my entire life.

so it counts. and now that i'm an adult, there is fskkol going up there ever again, if I can help it.

AfricanTech said:
and here I thought you were an enlightened sort of chap...
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enlightened? what do you mean?
 
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