Allow me to give Mr Niehaus some financial and other advice in this regard:
Mr Niehaus, now that you have to vacate the monstrosity you and your wife occupy in Midrand, you are welcome to a shack in the Zandspruit Informal Settlement in Honeydew. The monthly cost of such a dwelling is not R50 000 (as you are not paying now) but closer to about R400 a month which should be affordable because you won't have to pay for any water and electricity just like the 200 000 Zimbabweans living in the squatter camp.
This arrangement will also put you amongst your "voters" where you can communicate with them and explain to them how you lived the lifestyle you've got on the money provided by the tax payers of this country. You can also make them feel guilty for letting you down while the ANC has really provided a "better life for all" instead of just a "better life for some".
You can also sell your expensive vehicles and use public transport and taxis to the office. A trip from Honeydew to town is about R27 per day, and I'm sure once you've paid back the Rhema Church, they'll be more than happy to sponsor your transport costs which should be considerably less than the R700 000 you owe them currently.
If you become stressed by the situation you can take a taxi to the Helen Joseph Hospital where I'm sure you won't have to wait in the cue like the rest of your voters.
Unfortunately there's no clinic, doctor, nurse or medication in Zandspruit Squatter Camp, but you're welcome to smoke some dagga growing in the backyards (for medicinal purposes only) of large numbers of shacks. Remember to bring your own bedding when you go to Helen Joseph, and don't take any of the lifts in the building. They're not going anywhere, let alone up!
Mrs Niehaus's kids can go to the nearest public school where the school fees are an affordable R25 per term. They will quickly get used to sitting around for the first term without books, or a teacher for that matter, but will work really hard during the rest of the year (until they learn that you basically cannot fail a year with outcomes-based education) after which you won't have to help them with homework, they just won't do it.
Obviously you would get your vegetables from the millions of small vegetable patches in the squatter camp, and your meet from you neighbour who monthly slaughters a cow in his backyard. Remember to bring your own containers to carry your purchase home.
I hope these pointers will assist you with your financial woes, put you amongst your voter base, and gives you a taste of what your government actually provides for the people of this country, while they finance the lifestyle of your colleagues (who don't steal money "illegally" from Government departments entrusted to them, but "legally" from the pockets of taxpayers).
Since you are so good with finances, you can explain to your new neighbours how your government plan to survive with a system where 53 million taxpayers are "carrying" 13 million "social grants" per month, not counting Government's expenses in salaries, benefits, bonuses and "full pay and benefits" to former Presidents, you and your colleagues.
If, by chance, you are called to book for what you did, and the system sends you to prison, that might not be such a bad thing. While the rest of us finds a prison sentence a bit of an embarrassment it seems that the ANC sees it as an achievement and will even list it on your CV (aka Galema Motlante and others).
If you can manage a 15-years plus term instead of the five that you've already done, you might even be considered for the position of president in future. Think about it. President Carl Niehaus. Has a certain "ring" to it, doesn't it?
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