Panic buying morons - covid is coming for you

Grant

Honorary Master
Joined
Mar 27, 2007
Messages
47,965
so i dash out to the shops for 5 items.

MORONS:
i go to woolies, and there i see a complete moron.
the stupid cow is in a tracksuit with the hoodie tightly over her head. she has an ill fitting surgical mask on, goggles & gloves.
but it does not end there, each time she reaches for something on a shelf and someone else approaches, she makes a big production of leaping back as not to be touched.
unfortunately, this kind of rank stupidity has my inner troll screaming to be set free.
realizing her peripheral vision is severely compromised, i get to work.

she reaches for the classic potato salad. i lean past her and grab another item - she leaps back waving her hands in the air.
now she's headed for the dairy area, i set off down a different aisle to head her off. we meet at the milk fridge, she opens the door about to reach in, but i swoop in while she's holding the door open. i tap her on the arm and thank her for holding the door for me.
"waaaa" she squeals and leaps back knocking a whole lot of schit off a shelf.

i figure i'll ambush her at the bakery area. soon enough she arrives. while she standing the deciding what to get i bump her while reaching for a loaf of honey and oats bread.
"wwaahaaa" she squeals and leaps again.

as luck would have it, a friend of mine arrives. "check it out" i tell her.
moronwoman is now at the frozen area. i stand behind her.
as she opens a fridge door, i reach in past her and grab a 2l ice cream.
midst squeal, my friend reaches in from the other side.
at this point moronwoman probably had a nervous breakdown as she abandoned her trolley and headed fro the exit.

DEATH TO PANIC BUYERS
i swing past checkers and there they are, panic buyers with overloaded trolleys.
i stand at the entrance looking at this lot jostling for products and position.
i turn around and fukk off.

a message to the panic buyers
1) the virus is not waiting till midight to suddely come out - she's there right now mingling amongst you lot.
2) all the breathing, sneezing, coughing, wheezing, jostling and pushing - in 10days time when you wondered how you managed to pick up the virus while you were staying in during lockdown, think no further.
 

garp

Executive Member
Joined
Aug 2, 2004
Messages
8,247
But who created this situation? Firstly, by announcing a lock down three days in advance, and secondly by adding arbitrary rules about selling essential vs non-essential goods and banning alcohol and cigarettes??
 

RedViking

Nord of the South
Joined
Feb 23, 2012
Messages
26,735
Ironically OP is talking to himself. You have to be panic buyer to be among the panic buyers.

Anyways, keep the stories coming. I would like to read more about these idiots.
 

yebocan

Honorary Master
Joined
Sep 22, 2005
Messages
10,760
so i dash out to the shops for 5 items.

MORONS:
i go to woolies, and there i see a complete moron.
the stupid cow is in a tracksuit with the hoodie tightly over her head. she has an ill fitting surgical mask on, goggles & gloves.
but it does not end there, each time she reaches for something on a shelf and someone else approaches, she makes a big production of leaping back as not to be touched.
unfortunately, this kind of rank stupidity has my inner troll screaming to be set free.
realizing her peripheral vision is severely compromised, i get to work.

she reaches for the classic potato salad. i lean past her and grab another item - she leaps back waving her hands in the air.
now she's headed for the dairy area, i set off down a different aisle to head her off. we meet at the milk fridge, she opens the door about to reach in, but i swoop in while she's holding the door open. i tap her on the arm and thank her for holding the door for me.
"waaaa" she squeals and leaps back knocking a whole lot of schit off a shelf.

i figure i'll ambush her at the bakery area. soon enough she arrives. while she standing the deciding what to get i bump her while reaching for a loaf of honey and oats bread.
"wwaahaaa" she squeals and leaps again.

as luck would have it, a friend of mine arrives. "check it out" i tell her.
moronwoman is now at the frozen area. i stand behind her.
as she opens a fridge door, i reach in past her and grab a 2l ice cream.
midst squeal, my friend reaches in from the other side.
at this point moronwoman probably had a nervous breakdown as she abandoned her trolley and headed fro the exit.

DEATH TO PANIC BUYERS
i swing past checkers and there they are, panic buyers with overloaded trolleys.
i stand at the entrance looking at this lot jostling for products and position.
i turn around and fukk off.

a message to the panic buyers
1) the virus is not waiting till midight to suddely come out - she's there right now mingling amongst you lot.
2) all the breathing, sneezing, coughing, wheezing, jostling and pushing - in 10days time when you wondered how you managed to pick up the virus while you were staying in during lockdown, think no further.
in two weeks, going to see a massive spike in the infection rate, - due all the panic buying.... was at the shops yesterday, WTF : no distance ... least the place was not packed and sanitizer was readily available.
 

RedViking

Nord of the South
Joined
Feb 23, 2012
Messages
26,735
in two weeks, going to see a massive spike in the infection rate, - due all the panic buying.... was at the shops yesterday, WTF : no distance ... least the place was not packed and sanitizer was readily available.
What the hell were you going at the shops yesterday?

You lot should start experiencing some panic symptoms soon.
 

MEIOT

Expert Member
Joined
Feb 27, 2018
Messages
2,855
At least on a positive note - this pandemic sure as shite highlights the idiots amongst our 'friends'. A great opportunity to purge ones friends list of all the stupid kunts when this is all over.

Only issue though is the whole birds of a feather thing - idiots befriend idiots... which also is a good thing I guess. Panic buyers are in the idiot category - I feel nothing them being wiped out from this virus.
 
Last edited:

yebocan

Honorary Master
Joined
Sep 22, 2005
Messages
10,760
But who created this situation? Firstly, by announcing a lock down three days in advance, and secondly by adding arbitrary rules about selling essential vs non-essential goods and banning alcohol and cigarettes??
what would you recommend, go Indian style? Would have lamented, not enough time...either way, if people just were responsible adults - would be no need for this...way too many juveniles running around in adult bodies
 

Purply

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
3,926
Poor women probably already has the virus and tried containing it with her "outfit" and fear of getting too close.
 

yebocan

Honorary Master
Joined
Sep 22, 2005
Messages
10,760
What the hell were you going at the shops yesterday?

You lot should start experiencing some panic symptoms soon.
Needed to top up mutts' crumbles. If you RIP, you RIP... - not a clinger to this world.
 

AlmightyBender

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2012
Messages
4,511
so i dash out to the shops for 5 items.

MORONS:
i go to woolies, and there i see a complete moron.
the stupid cow is in a tracksuit with the hoodie tightly over her head. she has an ill fitting surgical mask on, goggles & gloves.
but it does not end there, each time she reaches for something on a shelf and someone else approaches, she makes a big production of leaping back as not to be touched.
unfortunately, this kind of rank stupidity has my inner troll screaming to be set free.
realizing her peripheral vision is severely compromised, i get to work.

she reaches for the classic potato salad. i lean past her and grab another item - she leaps back waving her hands in the air.
now she's headed for the dairy area, i set off down a different aisle to head her off. we meet at the milk fridge, she opens the door about to reach in, but i swoop in while she's holding the door open. i tap her on the arm and thank her for holding the door for me.
"waaaa" she squeals and leaps back knocking a whole lot of schit off a shelf.

i figure i'll ambush her at the bakery area. soon enough she arrives. while she standing the deciding what to get i bump her while reaching for a loaf of honey and oats bread.
"wwaahaaa" she squeals and leaps again.

as luck would have it, a friend of mine arrives. "check it out" i tell her.
moronwoman is now at the frozen area. i stand behind her.
as she opens a fridge door, i reach in past her and grab a 2l ice cream.
midst squeal, my friend reaches in from the other side.
at this point moronwoman probably had a nervous breakdown as she abandoned her trolley and headed fro the exit.

DEATH TO PANIC BUYERS
i swing past checkers and there they are, panic buyers with overloaded trolleys.
i stand at the entrance looking at this lot jostling for products and position.
i turn around and fukk off.

a message to the panic buyers
1) the virus is not waiting till midight to suddely come out - she's there right now mingling amongst you lot.
2) all the breathing, sneezing, coughing, wheezing, jostling and pushing - in 10days time when you wondered how you managed to pick up the virus while you were staying in during lockdown, think no further.
You Sir are a true gentleman and a profound scholar. I tip my hat to you in respectful awe. Goodday.
 

RedViking

Nord of the South
Joined
Feb 23, 2012
Messages
26,735
Needed to top up mutts' crumbles. If you RIP, you RIP... - not a clinger to this world.
It's how you go. Not when you go. There are better ways to kill yourself and murder those around you. Go kiss your mama and gogo goodbye.
 

McT

The Humble Scot!
Joined
May 19, 2009
Messages
37,214
the only disappointment in this thread is that we were not provided pics of said moronperson :D
 

Grant

Honorary Master
Joined
Mar 27, 2007
Messages
47,965
Ironically OP is talking to himself. You have to be panic buyer to be among the panic buyers.

Anyways, keep the stories coming. I would like to read more about these idiots.
buying 5 regular items is not panic buying, big red !
btw - i left having seen the melee at checkers
 
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