Physically disciplining your child will soon be unlawful in South Africa

[Mista_Mobsta]

Not trying at all. During the hiding a child feels pain and is afraid. Stands to reason because your arguments is that this fear and pain works to modify the childs behaviour.
I do consider it to be assault and am glad the law will finally outlaw it. I see the outrage in this thread to be the last wriggles of a barbaric practice that future generation will abhor.
Do you really think I'm incorrect? Anything you've seen that suggests we, as a society, are going in the other direction?
.

Just want to add one or two things quick. I feel like you (and some other experts) are missing a very important link in this discussion. That link is how to use it (physical discipline) correctly after all other forms of discipline have been exhausted. It is important for children to understand the severity of the punishment must fit the severity of the deed done. After reading this https://genderjustice.org.za/article/poor-parenting-skills-dont-justify-corporal-punishment/, they refer in the article to numerous studies and I am 100% sure the studies in question will refer to kids whose parents/teachers have taken the discipline a step too far.

If we as a society continue to pander to everyone's sensitive side and keep everyone in their safe spaces, what will happen to our kids when they meet the outsiders who have zero discipline and zero respect for rules and the consequences of breaking rules?

 

[Willie Trombone]

For one thing, respect has to be earned.

Starting from the POV that the other party is in the wrong is a recipe for failure. You'll likely go through life believing everything your kids tell you.

As for dealing with their bad behaviour, I am very creative... I don't have a problem with manipulating a young child.

I'd like to hear some of your practical ideas.

 

[konfab]

Starting from the POV that the other party is in the wrong is a recipe for failure. You'll likely go through life believing everything your kids tell you.

I was more meaning it as a weird use of the word.

I'd like to hear some of your practical ideas.

Ok, give a situation that you would feel would necessitate hitting your child. Age of the child would be required as well.

 

[rietrot]

I don't have a problem with manipulating a young child.

Discipline by manipulation, what could go wrong?

 

[konfab]

Discipline by manipulation, what could go wrong?

Please tell me how disciplining a child is different from manipulation. Especially when you hit them until they do what you want them to do.

 

[Willie Trombone]

Why? Because I won't use physical force against them?

No, because don't discipline kids to make them do what you want them to. While that might be a secondary aspect, it's primarily about what's good for them.

You don't need to hit a child to teach them that.

You say that as if there's a cookie cutter for children. I can assure you, children are all different and respond differently to different input.

In the world of "Out there", if you hold someone down and hit them, you go to jail. If the police held you down and beat you because you were driving 100 in a 60 zone, you would go and lay charges of assault.

Jail is a heck of a lot worse than getting a hiding, believe me. You're likely to get a few in there regardless. I've never had to hold any of my children down to give them a hiding so I can't relate. And as for the last example, you're hardly the cop's child, now, are you? Adults relate to adults very differently.

 

[Aghori]

This law is long overdue.
Resorting to violence to discipline your child tells them, not only that violence against them is justified, but also that violence is an acceptable solution to their problems. After all, if you, their primary role-models and caregivers, get to choose violence as your goto behavior, why shouldn't they?
If you cannot find another way, then you should look for help to find a way; escalating loss of privileges, namely, access to phones, TVs, tablets and PCs, toys, books, friends, for a specific period of time corresponding to the severity of their misbehavior is a ready alternative. Kids get bored very quickly, no matter how much of a 'loner' they are, and if you persevere in this approach you will be doing yourself, them, and our society a favour.
I heartily recommend the considered loss of privileges over a casual slap or beating. It could keep you out of jail.
.

Ahhh another special lad who thinks we can all just sing Kumbaya and everything will be ok.

 

[rietrot]

Please tell me how disciplining a child is different from manipulation. Especially when you hit them until they do what you want them to do.

Normal you throw in some reason and tell them why.
Manipulation is probably the worst thing you can do.

 

[konfab]

No, because don't discipline kids to make them do what you want them to. While that might be a secondary aspect, it's primarily about what's good for them.

That is your justification for hitting them? That it is good for them?

You say that as if there's a cookie cutter for children. I can assure you, children are all different and respond differently to different input.

I am the one advocating that people shouldn't use the cookie cutter method of pain to get the point across.

 

[eXisor]

Ahhh another special lad who thinks we can all just sing Kumbaya and everything will be ok.

Aah, another person who thinks an insulting label substitutes for witty rhetoric or coherent argument.
.

 

[konfab]

Normal you throw in some reason and tell them why.

Is hitting someone the best way to make sure someone understands something? It indicates that you don't have any better method of arguement.

Manipulation is probably the worst thing you can do.

How is hitting someone to make them know your point not manipulating them? Manipulation is the name of the game here. If your intention isn't manipulation, it is abuse.

 

[Willie Trombone]

Ok, give a situation that you would feel would necessitate hitting your child. Age of the child would be required as well.

5 Year old is in a cranky mood all day when he doesn't get his way.... he refuses to listen when you tell him to pack up then sneakily snatches one of his younger brother's toys from him while he is playing to "pack away" just because he reckons others should't be enjoying life when he isn't. When confronted about it he tries to get clever suggesting you told him to pack up. Later when walking past his younger brother, he sneaks in a shin kick for "telling on him". He has had three discipline attempts already today for similar bad behaviour and they don't appear to be working.

 

[Willie Trombone]

How is hitting someone to make them know your point not manipulating them? Manipulation is the name of the game here. If your intention isn't manipulation, it is abuse.

I think we're arguing semantics now. Manipulation may not be the best choice of words since it could imply devious intentions... I assume you didn't mean it in that way. Certainly if it does include devious intentions or attitude, it's likely going to harm more than help.

 

[2023]

Gawd this is terrible.

Any child who has no knowledge of where there parent/s are is considered "abandoned".....

I shudder to read any more into these changes if this is one of the first changes... so poorly thought out.

 

[Willie Trombone]

Gawd this is terrible.

Any child who has no knowledge of where there parent/s are is considered "abandoned".....

I shudder to read any more into these changes if this is one of the first changes... so poorly thought out.

LOL, I was abandoned plenty as a kid then. I often didn't care where my parents were. Especially when out playing with friends.

 

[rietrot]

Is hitting someone the best way to make sure someone understands something? It indicates that you don't have any better method of arguement.



How is hitting someone to make them know your point not manipulating them? Manipulation is the name of the game here. If your intention isn't manipulation, it is abuse.

I can't think of one time were I got a hiding that I can classify as manipulation. I'm not sure how you get to that. When applied to people it doesn't just mean to change something.

 

[Willie Trombone]

That is your justification for hitting them? That it is good for them?

You even have to ask? I mean, you don't have to agree, but do we really have to explain that? And to an adult as well?

I am the one advocating that people shouldn't use the cookie cutter method of pain to get the point across.

It's not the only tool in the shed, how do you see it as a once size fits all approach? If you do, you're doing it wrong. #justsaying

 

[SauRoNZA]

To be fair, some parents can raise kids without the need for corporal punishment.

Correction.

Some kids can be raised without the need for corporal punishment.

More often than not the parents have nothing at all to do with the equation...they were just lucky.

 

[konfab]

I think we're arguing semantics now. Manipulation may not be the best choice of words since it could imply devious intentions... I assume you didn't mean it in that way.

I meant it as the intentional changing of another person's behavior.

5 Year old is in a cranky mood all day when he doesn't get his way.... he refuses to listen when you tell him to pack up then sneakily snatches one of his younger brother's toys from him while he is playing to "pack away" just because he reckons others should't be enjoying life when he isn't. When confronted about it he tries to get clever suggesting you told him to pack up. Later when walking past his younger brother, he sneaks in a shin kick for "telling on him". He has had three talkings to already today for similar bad behaviour.

Ok so three things.
1) He doesn't pack away toys when you ask him to.
2) He takes away the toys of his younger brother.
3) He kicked his younger brother.

1) Have you actually asked him why he doesn't want to pack up the toys?
2) (which kinda leads to 3) , did you tell his brother to pack up the toys?

 

[Aghori]

We have shills for the government here on MyBB. What other explanation is there for folk who advocate and endorse government interference like this?