Physically disciplining your child will soon be unlawful in South Africa

[konfab]

Correction.

Some kids can be raised without the need for corporal punishment.

More often than not the parents have nothing at all to do with the equation...they were just lucky.

B.S

 

[Willie Trombone]

Is hitting someone the best way to make sure someone understands something? It indicates that you don't have any better method of arguement.

You do realise that when it comes to reason, your argument is invalid to a kid. Almost always. It's about what they want. They are selfish creatures (like the rest of us). The degree of selfishness depends on the degree of self discipline they have learned. They learn that through the numerous opportunities you afford them to control their emotions.

 

[konfab]

We have shills for the government here on MyBB. What other explanation is there for folk who advocate and endorse government interference like this?

Thinking that hitting children is wrong suddenly makes you a government shill?

 

[konfab]

You do realise that when it comes to reason, your argument is invalid to a kid. .

If they can't be reasoned with, then you shouldn't be hitting them as they won't understand why you are hitting them.

 

[Willie Trombone]

B.S

You think that genes don't play a major part in a child's personality? Social aspects only come in with age.

 

[Willie Trombone]

If they can't be reasoned with, then you shouldn't be hitting them as they won't understand why you are hitting them.

This has nothing to do with their understanding, and everything to do with their will. Humans are intelligent creatures. By all means, make sure they understand why they're being punished, regardless of your method. Failing that you will fail as a parent. That goes without saying.

 

[SauRoNZA]

I was a smacker as well at first but I realised I was doing it more out of my anger and frustration rather than as a punishment for them.

That is the trick right there to use it appropriately. The only time I'll really use it without blinking twice is in a case of danger such as running into the road etc.

My 2 eldest are now in their 20s and didn’t get a smack probably since they were about 7 or 8. My youngest, nearly 13 has never been smacked that I recall.

This is a prime example of how every kid is different and maybe somewhat also how they learn from their peers. More so it illustrates what I wanted to say next that smacking is only really a thing when they are very young and you can't reason with them otherwise and should taper off over time.

 

[SauRoNZA]

B.S

So you are saying that getting a mild mannered kid who doesn't bounce off the walls and doesn't need much in the way of discipline has nothing to do with luck?

This sounds just like those parents whose kids sleep through the night from one month old and they think it's somehow their ability or actions that did so.

The astounding difference between my two kids says completely otherwise.

 

[Willie Trombone]

This is a prime example of how every kid is different and maybe somewhat also how they learn from their peers. More so it illustrates what I wanted to say next that smacking is only really a thing when they are very young and you can't reason with them otherwise and should taper off over time.

I learned a bit of self discipline and to not disrespect my deputy head through three stripes on my butt at high school. I don't regret having learned that lesson. It was damn sore too but it would have been wholly inappropriate to complain about it since I was in the wrong. Fortunately for my sake I didn't grow up in a generation that tried to tell me he was wrong to do it otherwise I may be a self-entitled twit today.

 

[konfab]

So you are saying that getting a mild mannered kid who doesn't bounce off the walls has nothing to do with luck?

You have almost full control over their social interactions as a parent. Kids predominantly learn their socialisation through their parents.

This sounds just like those parents whose kids sleep through the night from one month old and they think it's somehow their ability or actions that did so.

There isn't much parents can do when kids are that age. But no one here is talking about the behaviour of a 1 month old infant and disciplining them

 

[werny]

"Dit is onmoontlik om dissipliene te handaf sonder n rotang!"

ROFL, totally forgot about that movie, probably the most funny Afrikaans movie there will ever be.

 

[Willie Trombone]

So you are saying that getting a mild mannered kid who doesn't bounce off the walls and doesn't need much in the way of discipline has nothing to do with luck?

This sounds just like those parents whose kids sleep through the night from one month old and they think it's somehow their ability or actions that did so.

The astounding difference between my two kids says completely otherwise.

Very much this.

 

[Willie Trombone]

You have almost full control over their social interactions as a parent. Kids predominantly learn their socialisation through their parents.

BS. He was not referring to their social interactions or socialization but their personality which is not predominantly based on social factors. Your lack of experience is clear. Not an insult, just an observation. I can see there's no point in arguing with someone who has zero experience. Would you argue frameworks and coding best practice with an armchair critic who's never coded a day in their life but claims to know it all based on what they've read on the web?

 

[SauRoNZA]

I learned a bit of self discipline and to not disrespect my deputy head through three stripes on my butt at high school. I don't regret having learned that lesson. It was damn sore too but it would have been wholly inappropriate to complain about it since I was in the wrong. Fortunately for my sake I didn't grow up in a generation that tried to tell me he was wrong to do it otherwise I may be a self-entitled twit today.

I don't know hey...if you still need physical discipline at high school age then someone has failed you somewhere or you lack maturity to accept your responsibilities.

Don't recall ever being disciplined physically by anyone once I hit High School or needing to be disciplined.

 

[SauRoNZA]

You have almost full control over their social interactions as a parent. Kids predominantly learn their socialisation through their parents.

What are you referring to here? Locking them in a cage? Because that is about all that would work with my eldest and quite frankly I would rather smack her.

What exactly do you consider as social interactions?

There isn't much parents can do when kids are that age. But no one here is talking about the behaviour of a 1 month old infant and disciplining them

But you just said we have full control?

Besides the point that I was simply highlighting that different kids are different and the parents often have little to do with it.

You cannot apply the same manner of discipline across the board for all kids in all situations. Every single kid and every single instance is going to be different.

 

[Willie Trombone]

I don't know hey...if you still need physical discipline at high school age then someone has failed you somewhere or you lack maturity to accept your responsibilities.

Don't recall ever being disciplined physically by anyone once I hit High School or needing to be disciplined.

As you say, different strokes. I needed more discipline in my teens than before. I was actually a very sweet kid.... testosterone made me a little delinquent in some ways, though I was milder than my brother. That same year (first year of high school), I got a good toungue lashing from my english teacher for being disruptive in class. I got that in front of my mom. That worked well too. The hiding was "in front of" my class - not in the same room, but they knew it was happening and why. In a school full of boys, hidings worked pretty well to dampen the rampant ego. You go from being a hero to a zero very quickly when your ass smarts that badly and your peers have a chuckle at your expense lol.

 

[2023]

"Any punishment, within the home or other environment, in which physical force or action is used and intended to cause some degree of pain or harm to the child is unlawful."

Interestingly it doesn't mention who this applies to, if my 4 year old son whacks his sister for taking his toy... sorry my son, I need to report you and you need to go to jail...

 

[SauRoNZA]

As you say, different strokes. I needed more discipline in my teens than before. I was actually a very sweet kid.... testosterone made me a little delinquent in some ways, though I was milder than my brother. That same year (first year of high school), I got a good toungue lashing from my english teacher for being disruptive in class. I got that in front of my mom. That worked well too. The hiding was "in front of" my class - not in the same room, but they knew it was happening and why.

Yeah but I think still at that age you have enough attachment to things that the concept of having those things taken away or access removed is probably a sure fire bet to get results over physical punishment.

The same doesn't inherently apply to a small kid who simply forgets about it and switches to the very next thing.

Getting my eldest to sit in the "thinking corner" is a laugh and I have a giggle every time someone new decides they will be the catalyst to make it finally work.

 

[SauRoNZA]

(1) Any person caring for a child, including a person who has parental responsibilities and rights in respect of a child, must not treat or punish the child in a cruel, inhuman or degrading way.

So what constitutes those exactly?

Since I can't smack any more should I now lock them in their rooms until they behave? Is that considered humane?

 

[Willie Trombone]

Yeah but I think still at that age you have enough attachment to things that the concept of having those things taken away or access removed is probably a sure fire bet to get results over physical punishment.

I never have responded well to mindless detention. I simply got on with it afterwards, not caring that I'd been acting like a jerk. It also depended on who meted the punishment out. Our deputy was not an angry man who held a grudge. On the contrary, we all knew he cared for us. He was a real gentleman, which added to the disappointment you felt for letting him down.