What the wife said
In Saturday's Mail rugby legend Gareth Thomas revealed he was gay. So what does the childhood sweetheart he married say about his confession?
Jemma Thomas cries when she remembers her wedding. It was, she says, the proudest, happiest, most perfect day of her life. Everything was magical about that sunny August afternoon in 2001 in the pretty South Wales town of St Brides Major; her first day as the wife of Wales rugby star and sporting legend Gareth Thomas.
'I absolutely adored Gareth with every bone in my body,' says Jemma, 33. 'As I said my vows, all I could think was: "He's mine, this wonderful, amazing man is all mine."' Or so Jemma believed at the time. For the truth was Gareth Thomas could never entirely be hers, no matter how much he loved her or desperately wanted to be.
'It was the proudest day of my life. I'll never forget the way Gareth turned to look at me as I walked down the aisle and told me I was beautiful and that he loved me,' says Jemma. 'He was my childhood sweetheart and best friend. We told each other everything. We had no secrets from each other.' Except one. Gareth took his marriage vows keeping one devastating secret to himself; that he was gay - something he had, since the age of 17, tried to suppress and push into a dark corner, hoping the feelings would go away.
In an exclusive interview in Saturday's Daily Mail, the former Wales and British Lions captain revealed publicly for the first time how he struggled for almost 20 years to come to terms with his true sexuality.
'I was like a ticking bomb. I thought I could suppress it, keep it locked away in some dark corner of myself, but I couldn't. It was who I was and I just couldn't ignore it any more. It was like a tight knot in my stomach, always threatening to seep out,' said Gareth, who knew he was gay at the age of 17, but refused to accept it, convincing himself his love for Jemma would rid him of these feelings.
'I've been through all sorts of emotions, tears, anger and absolute despair. I used to hope that I would wake up one morning and all these feelings could be gone. I would pray to God: "I have Jemma, I love her, please take away these feelings."
'Sometimes I felt so alone and depressed. I used to go to the cliffs overlooking the beach near our cottage in St Brides Major and think about jumping off and ending it all,' he said, admitting he felt 'horrible and guilty' for cheating on Jemma with men he met in the gay bars he secretly visited while away on tour.
'Outing' himself, in the hope that young people confronting the same dilemma might be encouraged to phone the NSPCC's ChildLine, the sporting legend said he could no longer live a lie.
He also hoped that by going public - the first international rugby player still in the game to do so - sport would follow other professions by accepting openly gay people.
Yesterday, 35-year-old Gareth, who in 2005 led Wales to their first Grand Slam victory since 1978 and was capped 100 times for his nation - more than any other Welshman - praised the 'amazing response' from players and fans.
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PS: The article was just way too long to copy and paste.