Soon to be new Dad. Any advice?

[Mike Hoxbig]

Its Western Culture thats why.

You wont find much of an old age home in Asian culture. Why? The family is very close. The whole family works on and thinks of the extension of the family to the next generation, so they all help for the next generation to take over. If you watch a Korean series generally you will see it. Each generation to do better than before, but they help one another.

My one inlaw had a single aunt, she left everything when she died to her nephew. In Western culture the nephew keep it all to himself but in Asia, he helped all the family members. Bought an apartment in the UK so some of his cousins can stay there while studying too. They are a very tight knit family.

In the West the parents dont really do that. They are more obsessed with themself and enriching themself, so by the time they have to retire, the kid was broke because it had to take on a lot of debt to start their own family, so parents are left at the old age home because of their own greed.

Yeah I get that, coming from an Asian background. But there has to be a middle ground somewhere. It's hard to look after your own family, as well as old people. The problem with being close-knit, is you have less privacy, space and freedom. Your personal issues automatically become their issues, and vice versa. You eventually start feeling claustrophobic and trapped, which leads to mental health problems.

Also there's nothing wrong with taking on debt to provide for your family. It gives you drive and motivation. If your parents were responsible and planned their retirement, you can occasionally fall back on them in dire straights.

When I retire I'm probably going to downscale my place, and dump the profits into an emergency fund. Maybe buy the kid his first apartment. That's a pretty big head start already. But you're not teaching them to be successful and independent, if everyone is going to live in a generational home by getting in each other's way, minding each other's business and having everything done for you...

 

[Craig_]

Wet wipes will be your next best friend. Keep it EVERYWHERE!
Kid's tend to leak (from all orifices) at the most unexpected times!!

Haha, my sister's 2 year old threw up all over her at Quarter Deck yesterday. The second he started I made myself scarce. Not my problem, I had my turn and I'm not keen for repeats.

 

[IamNoone]

The Transition to Fatherhood

The transition to fatherhood is complex. Research has shown that men can feel a multitude of feelings as they prepare to become fathers.

www.psychologytoday.com

 

[Snyper564]

Nesting has officially commenced...

Cot and compactum shopping incoming.

Front runners

Simple Simon

New to our collection, this transitional cot to toddler bed is classic and sophisticated. Made from a choice of pinewood or beechwood this cot can be finished with your choice of child friendly paint. You can either opt for only the cot or you can select the added transitional extension which...

lifeforcelifestyle.co.za

Sardegna

Add elegant storage to any space with our Sardegna chest of drawers. A striking contrast of wood finishes and metal knob detailing, this dresser gives any room a refined, sophisticated look. 6 soft-close drawers add superior strength and durability, while non-toxic, low VOC finishes contribute...

lifeforcelifestyle.co.za

Anywhere else in the country with similar styles?

 

[PaulGherkin]

Haha, my sister's 2 year old threw up all over her at Quarter Deck yesterday. The second he started I made myself scarce. Not my problem, I had my turn and I'm not keen for repeats.

I am not keen for any repeat either lol...

I've been puked on, shat on, peed on, snotted on, burped on, farted on, and even spat on.

 

[SauRoNZA]

Nesting has officially commenced...

Cot and compactum shopping incoming.

Front runners

Simple Simon

New to our collection, this transitional cot to toddler bed is classic and sophisticated. Made from a choice of pinewood or beechwood this cot can be finished with your choice of child friendly paint. You can either opt for only the cot or you can select the added transitional extension which...

lifeforcelifestyle.co.za

View attachment 1763361

Sardegna

Add elegant storage to any space with our Sardegna chest of drawers. A striking contrast of wood finishes and metal knob detailing, this dresser gives any room a refined, sophisticated look. 6 soft-close drawers add superior strength and durability, while non-toxic, low VOC finishes contribute...

lifeforcelifestyle.co.za

View attachment 1763362


Anywhere else in the country with similar styles?

I was preparing for that cot to be something like R12k and asking you if you are insane when you’ll get less than Ryke for it in 2 years time, but was then pleasantly surprised that it’s reasonably affordable.

As for the chest of drawers with a fancy name because baby…we tried to use that once and then opted for the bed instead and it just feels far safer. They are simply not deep enough to be of any real use as a changing setup.

Lower is better, but honestly best idea is get a single/three quarter in there now already to change the baby on and then you also have somewhere to sleep in the long nights when there are struggles.

And kid will learn to sleep in bed faster as well for being familiar with it.

 

[SauRoNZA]

Charlene Low-Foot Bed (Rustic) | Free Nationwide Delivery

Shop for the Charlene Low-Foot Bed (Rustic) online or at one of our nationwide stores. We guarantee the lowest prices in South Africa and offer a free trial.

www.themattresswarehouse.co.za

And a cheapish Cloud 9.

 

[KantSnyer]

Eldest is heading to matric next year, enjoy it wherever you can time flies by.

Getting a routine in place as early as possible would be my contribution.

 

[Calkem]

Always take your mothers advice, unless if you mother was a crystal meth whore

 

[Snyper564]

@bennyblanco watch this closely in Con Court today

Parental leave – Couple’s challenge to laws heads to Constitutional Court

A couple have taken their two year challenge for equity in parental leave to the Constitutional Court. The landmark case has implications for same-sex, adoptive and surrogate parents too.

www.dailymaverick.co.za

 

[3WA]

@bennyblanco watch this closely in Con Court today

Parental leave – Couple’s challenge to laws heads to Constitutional Court

A couple have taken their two year challenge for equity in parental leave to the Constitutional Court. The landmark case has implications for same-sex, adoptive and surrogate parents too.

www.dailymaverick.co.za

Damn, if I knew about this case, I would have joined and thrown in a request to get a few months paid leave for me to pursue my hobbies as well.

 

[Snyper564]

Seems like we landed on these two prams, I am leaning towards the elite version seems to be better than the "luxe" version am I missing something here.

The NOOLA® Elite 2in1 Stroller - Buy Strollers and Prams Online

Shop the Elite 2in1 baby stroller at NOOLA®. Experience comfort and versatility with our all-terrain baby pram. Perfect for newborns to toddlers.

www.noola.co.za

The NOOLA® Luxe 2in1 Stroller - Buy Prams and Strollers Online

Shop the Luxe 2in1 stroller at NOOLA®. Experience style and elegance with our premium baby pram. Perfect for newborns to toddlers.

www.noola.co.za

Yes they can both do the whole travel system thing too but the elite appears to be better suspension wise?

 

[Lupus]

Seems like we landed on these two prams, I am leaning towards the elite version seems to be better than the "luxe" version am I missing something here.

The NOOLA® Elite 2in1 Stroller - Buy Strollers and Prams Online

Shop the Elite 2in1 baby stroller at NOOLA®. Experience comfort and versatility with our all-terrain baby pram. Perfect for newborns to toddlers.

www.noola.co.za

The NOOLA® Luxe 2in1 Stroller - Buy Prams and Strollers Online

Shop the Luxe 2in1 stroller at NOOLA®. Experience style and elegance with our premium baby pram. Perfect for newborns to toddlers.

www.noola.co.za

Yes they can both do the whole travel system thing too but the elite appears to be better suspension wise?

Honestly, are you going to be doing a lot of walking??

 

[Snyper564]

Honestly, are you going to be doing a lot of walking??

We typically do loads of walking both around the neighborhood and in general, I too do running

Also plan on doing Europe for two weeks a year from age one

 

[Jean Claude Vaaldamme]

Look its your baby and your money so you can do what you want.
But 10-12K on a stroller/pram?
Are you trying to impress or keep up with friends?
You can buy a pram that does the same or even more for 2k.

You going to use that thing a few times for the first few months, then you going to get a cheap small stroller for a few hundred bucks and think why were you so stupid spending that money one something for a few months,

Same for baby cots. making a baby room with a fancy expensive wooden cot seem so noble. Then soon you realize a cheap camping cot works so much better. You can move it around in the house and let the baby sleep wherever you want in seconds.

 

[TheMightyQuin]

Yes I will give you the best advice ever. Please save it somewhere for future reference.

Twee Boerbokke maak nie n Springbok.

Meaning. If you and your wife are not intellectual geniuses, don't expect your kid to be one or blame the teachers for that.
If you and you wife are not sport stars, don't expect your kid to be one or blame the teachers/coaches for that

Speak for yourself...stop projecting here.

 

[TheMightyQuin]

Look its your baby and your money so you can do what you want.
But 10-12K on a stroller/pram?
Are you trying to impress or keep up with friends?
You can buy a pram that does the same or even more for 2k.

You going to use that thing a few times for the first few months, then you going to get a cheap small stroller for a few hundred bucks and think why were you so stupid spending that money one something for a few months,

Same for baby cots. making a baby room with a fancy expensive wooden cot seem so noble. Then soon you realize a cheap camping cot works so much better. You can move it around in the house and let the baby sleep wherever you want in seconds.

Stop being poor.

 

[TheMightyQuin]

Honestly, are you going to be doing a lot of walking??

Both my kids were terrible nappers...so I walked 1 000's of km's with them. Then you want a proper stroller...not a rattling POS you bought in Checkers.

 

[Snyper564]

Look its your baby and your money so you can do what you want.
But 10-12K on a stroller/pram?
Are you trying to impress or keep up with friends?
You can buy a pram that does the same or even more for 2k.

You going to use that thing a few times for the first few months, then you going to get a cheap small stroller for a few hundred bucks and think why were you so stupid spending that money one something for a few months,

Same for baby cots. making a baby room with a fancy expensive wooden cot seem so noble. Then soon you realize a cheap camping cot works so much better. You can move it around in the house and let the baby sleep wherever you want in seconds.

Not trying to impress anyone.

Having a child later in life with zero debt at 36 a few extra k here or there is OK.

Speaking from a place of privilege here totally aware but sacrificed and worked hard for years to be here.

 

[TheMightyQuin]

Not trying to impress anyone.

Having a child later in life with zero debt at 36 a few extra k here or there is OK.

Speaking from a place of privilege here totally aware but sacrificed and worked hard for years to be here.

Don't apologize to the plebs. They cannot stand rich, successful people.