Study: Men Want Women to Chip In on Dates, but Are Afraid to Ask

[OrbitalDawn]

http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/08/14/study-men-want-women-to-chip-in-on-dates-but-are-afraid-to-ask/

When women debrief each other about their recent dates, one of the first questions that come up is, “Did he pay?” Well, most men are still paying for dates, but wish women would pay sometimes too, according to a paper presented over the weekend at the American Sociological Association’s annual meeting in New York City.

The ritual of men taking out women dates back to the time when men earned more because most jobs were not accessible to women. By treating women, men were also showing their ability to provide for them in the future. But now that the percentage of men and women in the paid labor force is about equal — and 28% of women are making more money than men in households where both partners work — the study’s authors wanted to know if that shift in gender roles has contributed to women’s expectations about who pays the tab.

The study, which surveyed 17,607 unmarried, heterosexual men and women using a questionnaire posted on NBCNews.com, found:

84% of men and 58% of women said that men paid for most dating expenses.
39% of women hoped men would not ask them to contribute.
44% of women were annoyed when men “expected” women to pay.
44% of men said they would stop seeing women who never pay for dates.
64% of men believed women should pick up from time to time, though 76% said they felt “guilty” saying so.
4 in 10 men and women said that dating expenses were usually shared within the first month, and nearly three-fourths (74%) of men and 83% of women said they’re shared by the sixth-month mark.

The survey, which also included a narrative component, showed younger, college-educated men and women were more likely to offer to share the costs of dating. “We usually split the cost or pay every other time,” a 24-year-old female participant wrote. ”It is a shared experience so it should be entirely shared, unless one partner is treating the other for a special occasion.”

The paper’s authors wrote women should take note of the 44% of men who said they would break it off with women who don’t offer to help pick up the tab, as it may help explain why their suitors have suddenly dropped off the radar. As one 25-year-old male participant put it: “I’m fine with paying for the first few dates. However, if the relationships are supposed to be 50/50 then each partner is expected to invest in the partnership financially.”

But while women may be paying more of their share, most men still want, and are expected to, pick up the bill in the beginning. According to the paper, “Many men’s willingness to absorb the price of early dates and more than half the costs later on keeps chivalry alive, gender roles distinct, and some privileges for both sexes intact.”

 

[zippy]

I don't believe this. Men only want 1 thing from a women on a date and it's nothing to do with the bill. Of course, the bill the better.

 

[googoodoll]

I'm the main breadwinner in the relationship so I often pay or we split the bill. I don't mind

 

[Pooky]

***k society

 

[Ninja'd]

He wants to go Dutch but she's Scrooge McDuck.



Ninja'd's bigot tally: 2. 7 if you count the sig.

 

[Maverick Jester]

So much for gender equality...

 

[droplet]

one thing to bear in mind: don't complain (as a man or as a woman!) later on in a relationship that the lady is wearing the pants (taking on a traditionally male role) if the relationship began with a wrong pants-wearing element to the lady's behaviour.

i'm not saying women shouldn't have traditionally male roles, just that if it is jot what you want in the relationship then look out for it early on.

 

[Rocket Raccoon]

If it's anything more expensive than a pizza she must fork out.

 

[Cius]

When I started dating my current wife I was a full time student and she was working. Hence we very quickly started sharing costs otherwise we would hardly have been able to spend any time together as I had limitted funds. Especially for students its often the case that if the guy pays for everything then there will be half as many dates. If the girl really likes the guy she would want to chip in just to see him more often!

 

[Ninja'd]

Thank God for sugar daddies.

 

[zolly]

I never pay for a girl on the first date, unless I've known them for a while.

 

[googoodoll]

When I started dating my current wife I was a full time student and she was working. Hence we very quickly started sharing costs otherwise we would hardly have been able to spend any time together as I had limitted funds. Especially for students its often the case that if the guy pays for everything then there will be half as many dates. If the girl really likes the guy she would want to chip in just to see him more often!

Exactly my situation. Works out nicely.

 

[AstroTurf]

44% of men said they would stop seeing women who never pay for dates.

That would be me kinda only I will pay for the whole meal, I would like to just be asked.

Just want to hear the offer, women that don't even consider paying I find are not compatible with me as they also tend to be selfish.

 

[Chevron]

I never pay for a girl on the first date, unless I've known them for a while.

Wow, Usually the first 3 dates are where the guy has to pay.

Do you ever get second dates?

 

[googoodoll]

That would be me kinda only I will pay for the whole meal, I would like to just be asked.

Just want to hear the offer, women that don't even consider paying I find are not compatible with me as they also tend to be selfish.

And also order the most expensive thing on the menu...

 

[Chevron]

Just want to hear the offer, women that don't even consider paying I find are not compatible with me as they also tend to be selfish.

This. A million times this.

 

[Maverick Jester]

I never pay for a girl on the first date, unless I've known them for a while.

Somehow, I saw this as solicitation...

 

[I.am.Sam]

Wow, Usually the first 3 dates are where the guy has to pay.

Do you ever get dates?

FTFY

 

[supersunbird]

If my idea to do something I fully expect to pay all expenses. If its her idea, paying for yourself is ok...

 

[HavocXphere]

Just want to hear the offer, women that don't even consider paying I find are not compatible with me as they also tend to be selfish.

Yep. Especially if its say a meal at a fancy restaurant. A quick coffee date...meh a couple of bucks isn't going to kill me.