"Due to unfortunate circumstances with problems at the local exchanges, elections have been delayed by 3 months. You will also have to vote twice, just in case the first vote didn't go through, and - Due to the ultra-secure security in place - Will be unable to vote for the same candidate twice! Vote-counting will take approximately 6 months due to some mysterious delayed votes in testing. The Telkom authorities are currently looking into this..."
"And yes, the voting software modifications have been completed to comply with Telkom being funded, and the pre-defined winner is the A.."
"What do you mean I wasn't meant to read that part?"
"Oh ok... Yea - I guess they'll be surprised as usual! Hah!"
If Telkom is at the core of the elections, I'm not too optimistic. If it's anything like my experience with Telkom so far:
You'll have to pay for your vote. For R10, you get one vote, For R15, you get 3, and for R25, You'll get 30. Plus there's a mandatory Pen Rental of R10, that you have to pay even if you don't want it. If you ask about the silly pricing, you will be told "that's what the customers want"
After 6 weeks, when the results are still not anounced, you will get a reference number, and someone will ask you in which province Pretoria, the ****ing capital of the country, not to mention Telkom's headquarters, is.
When the votes are finally counted, it will be a complete stuff-up half the time and they will blame everyone else, the company who made the paper, the printers of the ballots, the official who stamped it, etc.
They will then say it's a 'best-effort election", with "up to 90% fairness", so we have to be happy with any scraps we get, and announce proudly to the world that we had a world-class election.