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medicnick83
Paramedic
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2006
- Messages
- 21,005
Preamble to the Bro Code
Once the contract of becoming bros is made, verbal, written or otherwise, the bro code comes into effect.
Bros will not be assumed to be exclusive unless each has explicitly granted the other exclusive Bro rights. If a Bro is not exclusive then a Bro may have more than one Bro. However, upon becoming exclusive, said Bro must break any Bro ties with all other Bros.
Article 1:
Bros before hoes. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.
Article 2:
Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.
Article 3:
If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:
A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.
However, if it's your buddy's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.
Article 4:
Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game.
Article 5:
You must never own a cat.
New amendment to this rule: A Bro may never own more than 2 cats, but only if they adhere to the Bro Code
Article 6:
If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows:
1. Your best friends (in order of how long you've known them).
2. Your acquaintances.
3. Your co-workers.
4. The mailman.
5. The UPS guy.
6. NASA.
7. John Kerry.
....1,485,726. Your girlfriend.
Article 7:
You are allowed to enjoy exactly one chick TV show, and one chick flick. You may have no more.
Article 8:
Birthday and Christmas presents for your guy friends are optional. Beer always makes a great gift.
Article 9:
If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once. The Bro with the better paying job is required to buy the first round. If the other Bro is temporarily out of money or left his wallet at home drinks can be lended yet in the long run these drinks must be repaid, later that night by wingman services or any other act of entertainment or at the next gathering.
Article 10:
There are no mercy rules when playing someone in Madden, hoops, street hockey, bare-fisted boxing, etc.
Article 11:
If you owe someone money, pay them back as soon as humanly possible—unless it's a gambling debt, which must be paid immediately.
Article 12:
Standard shotgun rules are as follows.
A. Shotgun may only be called within full sight of the car.
B. Shotgun must be called outside.
C. Shotgun calls last approximately ten minutes.
D. Shotgun never carries over to a second ride.
Article 13:
NO PDA (Public Displays of Affection).
Article 14:
It's alright to cheat at any game where money isn't involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games."
Article: 15:
Don't tell other guys elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine. No one cares.
Article 16:
Never openly question another guy's sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team.
Article 17:
When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she's dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that's the case, make it quick.
Article 18:
Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.
Article 19:
Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.
Article 20:
Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable ***** since they've gone out with someone.
Article 21:
In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys.
Article 22:
A Bro should not sing and dance at the same time
Article 23:
A Bro should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.
Article 24:
Men do not lie about their age.
Article 25:
A Bro should not swing his arms when he is walking.
Article 26:
A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight. A Bro must never hesitate before communicating the possibility of fisticuffs between two humans of the female variety [[HENCEFORTH "GIRL FIGHT"]], in an effort to make possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can partake in observation. A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro's viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging, fiber optics, the Broney express, and postcards. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures, video*, or barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime. Tabling Bro obligations to witness a XX chromosomal scuffle is not only condoned, but encouraged, and in some cases, required. Please refer to the Brobligation rubric as elucidated in AMENDMENT 83: "The REALLY hot sister and other hump trumps."
Article 27:
A Bro should never carry a woman's handbag
Article 28:
A Bro should never go tanning.
Article 29:
No Bro should dye their hair
Article 30:
A Bro should never refer to an athlete as a "stud"
Article 31:
A Bro should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.
Article 32:
A Bro should not "pop" his collar.
Article 33:
A Bro should not speak more than two languages.
Unless
1. He has lived for a minimum of 9 months in a country whose main language is one of those languages
2. He uses the extra language as a means of picking up women who only speak that language
3. His job requires him to know more than 2 languages
4. It is a means of only to impress women and nothing else
If in the occurrence that a Bro knows more than 2 languages, it is the given right for said bro to invite other bros to parties where this language is spoken, having said bro escort and be the official bilingual wingman.
Article 34:
Bro’s cannot make eye contact during a “devil’s threeway” (two dudes.)
Article 35:
A Bro should never say "it's to die for"
Article 36:
A Bro should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat.
Article 37:
A Bro should not wear an ascot.
Article 38:
A Bro should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce.
Article 39:
A Bro should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower.
Article 40:
A Bro should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw
Article 41:
A Bro should never wear a blouse.
Article 42:
If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom.
Article 43:
A Bro should not wear crocs.
Article 44:
A Bro should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes.
Article 45:
A Bro should never wear a sweater over his shoulders
Article 46:
A Bro should not eat grapes from the vines
Article 47:
A Bro should never rollerblade
Article 48:
The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone
Article 49:
If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
Once the contract of becoming bros is made, verbal, written or otherwise, the bro code comes into effect.
Bros will not be assumed to be exclusive unless each has explicitly granted the other exclusive Bro rights. If a Bro is not exclusive then a Bro may have more than one Bro. However, upon becoming exclusive, said Bro must break any Bro ties with all other Bros.
Article 1:
Bros before hoes. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.
Article 2:
Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.
Article 3:
If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:
A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.
However, if it's your buddy's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.
Article 4:
Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game.
Article 5:
You must never own a cat.
New amendment to this rule: A Bro may never own more than 2 cats, but only if they adhere to the Bro Code
Article 6:
If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows:
1. Your best friends (in order of how long you've known them).
2. Your acquaintances.
3. Your co-workers.
4. The mailman.
5. The UPS guy.
6. NASA.
7. John Kerry.
....1,485,726. Your girlfriend.
Article 7:
You are allowed to enjoy exactly one chick TV show, and one chick flick. You may have no more.
Article 8:
Birthday and Christmas presents for your guy friends are optional. Beer always makes a great gift.
Article 9:
If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once. The Bro with the better paying job is required to buy the first round. If the other Bro is temporarily out of money or left his wallet at home drinks can be lended yet in the long run these drinks must be repaid, later that night by wingman services or any other act of entertainment or at the next gathering.
Article 10:
There are no mercy rules when playing someone in Madden, hoops, street hockey, bare-fisted boxing, etc.
Article 11:
If you owe someone money, pay them back as soon as humanly possible—unless it's a gambling debt, which must be paid immediately.
Article 12:
Standard shotgun rules are as follows.
A. Shotgun may only be called within full sight of the car.
B. Shotgun must be called outside.
C. Shotgun calls last approximately ten minutes.
D. Shotgun never carries over to a second ride.
Article 13:
NO PDA (Public Displays of Affection).
Article 14:
It's alright to cheat at any game where money isn't involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games."
Article: 15:
Don't tell other guys elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine. No one cares.
Article 16:
Never openly question another guy's sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team.
Article 17:
When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she's dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that's the case, make it quick.
Article 18:
Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.
Article 19:
Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.
Article 20:
Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable ***** since they've gone out with someone.
Article 21:
In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys.
Article 22:
A Bro should not sing and dance at the same time
Article 23:
A Bro should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.
Article 24:
Men do not lie about their age.
Article 25:
A Bro should not swing his arms when he is walking.
Article 26:
A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight. A Bro must never hesitate before communicating the possibility of fisticuffs between two humans of the female variety [[HENCEFORTH "GIRL FIGHT"]], in an effort to make possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can partake in observation. A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro's viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging, fiber optics, the Broney express, and postcards. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures, video*, or barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime. Tabling Bro obligations to witness a XX chromosomal scuffle is not only condoned, but encouraged, and in some cases, required. Please refer to the Brobligation rubric as elucidated in AMENDMENT 83: "The REALLY hot sister and other hump trumps."
Article 27:
A Bro should never carry a woman's handbag
Article 28:
A Bro should never go tanning.
Article 29:
No Bro should dye their hair
Article 30:
A Bro should never refer to an athlete as a "stud"
Article 31:
A Bro should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.
Article 32:
A Bro should not "pop" his collar.
Article 33:
A Bro should not speak more than two languages.
Unless
1. He has lived for a minimum of 9 months in a country whose main language is one of those languages
2. He uses the extra language as a means of picking up women who only speak that language
3. His job requires him to know more than 2 languages
4. It is a means of only to impress women and nothing else
If in the occurrence that a Bro knows more than 2 languages, it is the given right for said bro to invite other bros to parties where this language is spoken, having said bro escort and be the official bilingual wingman.
Article 34:
Bro’s cannot make eye contact during a “devil’s threeway” (two dudes.)
Article 35:
A Bro should never say "it's to die for"
Article 36:
A Bro should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat.
Article 37:
A Bro should not wear an ascot.
Article 38:
A Bro should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce.
Article 39:
A Bro should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower.
Article 40:
A Bro should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw
Article 41:
A Bro should never wear a blouse.
Article 42:
If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom.
Article 43:
A Bro should not wear crocs.
Article 44:
A Bro should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes.
Article 45:
A Bro should never wear a sweater over his shoulders
Article 46:
A Bro should not eat grapes from the vines
Article 47:
A Bro should never rollerblade
Article 48:
The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone
Article 49:
If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
