Tips For New Parents To Be ? ......... Post Your Experiences

[tnt11]

That and that are both terrible advice. You need preparation, and lots of it. Perhaps 100+ years ago everyone had solid family units where the mothers/grandmothers could provide one another with advice and hands-on help but that doesn't exist for everyone anymore. Now if a mother is stuck at home and panicking she might only have the internet, or maybe some outdated and unhelpful family opinions masquerading as advice. That can save parents from depression and prevent health issues with children.

I'll take my two healthy kids and respectfully disagree with you. Anyday.

 

[cerebus]

I'll take my two healthy kids and respectfully disagree with you. Anyday.

You might do, but I'll find you 1000s of mothers who were helped massively through the internet. And that includes ours.

 

[tnt11]

You might do, but I'll find you 1000s of mothers who were helped massively through the internet. And that includes ours.

Not mine. I was raised in pre interwebs days.

And by the way, what's the mothers bit about? I am a single father you know. As in, the kids and the dog came with me in the divorce and the see their mom every other weekend.

 

[cerebus]

Not mine. I was raised in pre interwebs days.

And by the way, what's the mothers bit about? I am a single father you know. As in, the kids and the dog came with me in the divorce and the see their mom every other weekend.

I'm not sure why you imagine your experiences to be universally applicable. Just because you didn't get help from the internet, doesn't mean there aren't many mothers(/single fathers) out there who would otherwise be struggling and not really coping on their own, if not for the help they receive online. FB groups, parenting forums etc, can be wonderful support bases and knowledge sharing environments.

 

[tnt11]

I'm not sure why you imagine your experiences to be universally applicable. snip

And I'm not sure why you think that some random starnger /fb group (whatever the hell that is) /parenting forum (as in collection of random strangers) should know your personal circumstances and be able to advise upon them. It seems to me in reading the comments of this random collection of faceless internet people, that so much is lost in translation, that people mis-communicate so drastically that it becomes irrelevant. Take this forum for example. The sub-text, the emotion, the meaning that you would convey via a whole range of non-verbal means, is completely lost. Call me what you will, but when it comes to mine, I prefer a full comprehending, and a full translation of communicated material. Not this. This is, what? Placebo. False. Meaningless.

Again, I will take raising my kids without crap like a forum, or heaven forbid, facebook, and make my own way, and respectfully disagree with you.

 

[cerebus]

I'm happy for you, really. And the thousands of women who do get help from forums will respectfully disagree with you as well.

But for what it's worth, there's nothing random about fb groups or internet forums. You form friendships, sometimes long term ones, with likeminded parents. Your own views on how to parent evolve through exposure to different approaches. Our own stance changed a lot over 3 children because of that kind of exposure, for the better. You get pointed to solid learning material and on-and-offline resources that you would have struggled to find otherwise. And yeah there's a lot of crap and stupid opinions out there, but in any case you have to ultimately follow your own internal compass.

But for instance, the other day my wife was complaining on some FB group about our oldest boy's runny nose ongoing for months, that was beginning to nosebleed. All the nurses she'd seen told her to increase his vitamin boosts but it wasn't working. Then one of her good FB friends asked if he didn't have something stuck in his nose. So she took him to the ENT, who said yes indeed there was something in there. He was booked in the next day and a piece of rotting foam was removed that he'd shoved up there months back and nobody noticed. That discussion wasn't medical advice itself, but it opened a way to get the right treatment. There's tons of examples like that.

 

[themba990]

I'm happy for you, really. And the thousands of women who do get help from forums will respectfully disagree with you as well.

But for what it's worth, there's nothing random about fb groups or internet forums. You form friendships, sometimes long term ones, with likeminded parents. Your own views on how to parent evolve through exposure to different approaches. Our own stance changed a lot over 3 children because of that kind of exposure, for the better. You get pointed to solid learning material and on-and-offline resources that you would have struggled to find otherwise. And yeah there's a lot of crap and stupid opinions out there, but in any case you have to ultimately follow your own internal compass.

But for instance, the other day my wife was complaining on some FB group about our oldest boy's runny nose ongoing for months, that was beginning to nosebleed. All the nurses she'd seen told her to increase his vitamin boosts but it wasn't working. Then one of her good FB friends asked if he didn't have something stuck in his nose. So she took him to the ENT, who said yes indeed there was something in there. He was booked in the next day and a piece of rotting foam was removed that he'd shoved up there months back and nobody noticed. That discussion wasn't medical advice itself, but it opened a way to get the right treatment. There's tons of examples like that.

My daughter is 14 months, yay! And I have found it very beneficial to keep my eye on the parenting threads. We will all undoubtedly have different experiences but visiting the forum provides you with a different perspective and new ideas. There is nothing worse the being stuck in your ways thinking that yours is the only solution

 

[Zenbaas]

Agree with cerebus here. I truly appreciate everyone's input and it does help.

 

[KleinBoontjie]

OK, here is my helpful tip for parents to be:

Beforehand, get the following:
1. Get enough creams, diaper cream and aqua cream the being the most important. You don't want a baby with a agitated rash.
2. For the first few weeks, make sure you have enough newborn nappies.
3. get a bottle or two of gripe water

Blankets, clothing and toiletries is a given, right?
But for the most, just stay calm and don't turn the raising of you're child into a drill.

Note: some tea tree oil for mommy may score you some points

 

[nightjar]

6 nappies a day? That's a waste! Mine is 16 months and I change nappies 2 - 3 times a day.
Well, that also depends on the nappy brand.
i.e. I bought Dischem nappies last time, they got wet 3times faster than the one I was using before (Pampers Sleep and Play, Huggies, Cuddles), so had to change them like 4 - 5 times a day.
Sometimes, when I'm broke I go for "Panda" from Makro (they are so cheap! R124 for 100 pieces). Those ones, are also cheap in quality, get wet quickly and you can't tie them twice.
Tips : All those "fancy" brand (Pampers, Cuddles, Huggies) are really good, I must admit. If you can afford, buy them, especially when they are on sale. But go for cheaper one (Panda, Dischem) and use nappy liners, it does the trick and keep your baby safe from nappy rash!

Apart from the high cost, disposable nappies are incredibly unfriendly to the environment.

Three dozen towel nappies did for all three of my kids. Johnson nappy liners kept them reasonably free of crap and a dedicated nail brush removed any excess that got past the liner. The biggest hassle was the need to iron them when they came off the line because of a nasty little insect called a putzi fly.

 

[FlashSA]

Apart from the high cost, disposable nappies are incredibly unfriendly to the environment.

Three dozen towel nappies did for all three of my kids. Johnson nappy liners kept them reasonably free of crap and a dedicated nail brush removed any excess that got past the liner. The biggest hassle was the need to iron them when they came off the line because of a nasty little insect called a putzi fly.

Oh hell no! After changing 2 years of nappies with my daughter, I can honestly say I am grateful that the environment ended up with the contents and not us having to wash it out!!!

 

[Stefanmuller]

Why punish yourself with towel nappies? So much effort when changing nappies is the least you should worry about.

Good tip with nappies: dont stock up with too many before the birth. They grow out of the newborn very fast and besides, you wont know which brand fits best beforehand. You should have enough newborn nappies from the baby shower to use. Most shops will exchange unopened packs of nappies for a different size.

Gripe water - yes
Telement drops - yes
Buscupan for cramps - yes
Panado syrup - yes
Ulsanic/appolocol - yes
ProB2 probiotic drops daily - yes as it helps the gut to digest lactose and keep it balanced, and boosts immunity.

Try not to give medicine unless necessary or other methods like soothing/feeding/nappy change does not help calming a screaming baby. But having several options available in the middle of the night helps a lot. In the beginning we used gripe and telement but now at 4.5 months we dont anymore.

Lastly, dont chop and change formula milk without consulting your paediatrician especially in the beginning. Try to start with a neutral standard formula. Newborns have immature guts so reflux and cramps are normal the first two or three months. Dont jump to Anti Reflux or "lactose sensitive" formulas without consulting the doc as it may cause other difficulties later on such as constipation etc.

If sending 4 month old to daycare, consult doctor about immune boosters to take daily and a week or so before going. Yes, he will probably get sick in the first month or two of daycare and a first visit to the doctor/hospital. Which goes without saying - make sure you have a comprehensive in hospital medical plan. Our baby got sick after his first week in daycare and was admitted to hospital with upper respiratory infection and ear infection. It started with a little eye infection and went over to a blocked and slimy nose and throat. Had to get physio and suction daily to get rid of the slime so he could breathe normally during the night. This then went over to some vomiting. At the end of the day he spent 4 nights in hospital and R25k later which the medical covered.

On the point of daycare, have someone available to look after your child if he gets sick, because the daycare will send him home if he shows signs of sickness. If in hospital, a parent or parent representative must be present in hospital. It is handy if someone can help out if you cant take off from work.

 

[Loumina]

Just got back to work after maternity leave; yes I had another baby girl, 3 months ago.
To anyone out there :
My newborn (or second born) has a bad blocked and slimy nose. I was using the famous Salex, but at the end, it didn't work anymore. I took her to the physio for few sessions and it really helped her breathing normally again I must admit. So the thing is, my first born is going to school now, and she keeps bringing back this flu home. I treat her with Corix, she gets fine then few days later she gets sick again and contaminate the whole family again included the little one. Then I treat her again, then goes back to school, then back with flu... then... then...
Don't really know what to do now...
Really worried about the little one as she's also coughing now and pharmacists can not help as she's less than 6 months old yet. Wonder if I should simply see a doctor.
In the meantime, any tips from you guys?

 

[GreyBush]

Just got back to work after maternity leave; yes I had another baby girl, 3 months ago.
To anyone out there :
My newborn (or second born) has a bad blocked and slimy nose. I was using the famous Salex, but at the end, it didn't work anymore. I took her to the physio for few sessions and it really helped her breathing normally again I must admit. So the thing is, my first born is going to school now, and she keeps bringing back this flu home. I treat her with Corix, she gets fine then few days later she gets sick again and contaminate the whole family again included the little one. Then I treat her again, then goes back to school, then back with flu... then... then...
Don't really know what to do now...
Really worried about the little one as she's also coughing now and pharmacists can not help as she's less than 6 months old yet. Wonder if I should simply see a doctor.
In the meantime, any tips from you guys?

Have they been for flu shots? the one going to school, not the newborn.

 

[OGroteKoning]

Just got back to work after maternity leave; yes I had another baby girl, 3 months ago.
To anyone out there :
My newborn (or second born) has a bad blocked and slimy nose. I was using the famous Salex, but at the end, it didn't work anymore. I took her to the physio for few sessions and it really helped her breathing normally again I must admit. So the thing is, my first born is going to school now, and she keeps bringing back this flu home. I treat her with Corix, she gets fine then few days later she gets sick again and contaminate the whole family again included the little one. Then I treat her again, then goes back to school, then back with flu... then... then...
Don't really know what to do now...
Really worried about the little one as she's also coughing now and pharmacists can not help as she's less than 6 months old yet. Wonder if I should simply see a doctor.
In the meantime, any tips from you guys?

Congrats. And yes, go see a doctor.

 

[cerebus]

Just got back to work after maternity leave; yes I had another baby girl, 3 months ago.
To anyone out there :
My newborn (or second born) has a bad blocked and slimy nose. I was using the famous Salex, but at the end, it didn't work anymore. I took her to the physio for few sessions and it really helped her breathing normally again I must admit. So the thing is, my first born is going to school now, and she keeps bringing back this flu home. I treat her with Corix, she gets fine then few days later she gets sick again and contaminate the whole family again included the little one. Then I treat her again, then goes back to school, then back with flu... then... then...
Don't really know what to do now...
Really worried about the little one as she's also coughing now and pharmacists can not help as she's less than 6 months old yet. Wonder if I should simply see a doctor.
In the meantime, any tips from you guys?

Truthfully there's not a whole lot to do about it, but also don't worry overly. They pick up all sorts of nasties at the creche, and then they wipe their little snotty noses all over the baby's face giving them kisses, and then walla you've got a snotty coughy baby to deal with at night. Short of removing them from the environment, that's just reality till they get a bit older.

Don't be too shy with the old meds - they do a lot to relieve symptoms. You should certainly take her to the doctor though as she is very young to be getting ill and you need good advice on medication.

 

[Loumina]

Have they been for flu shots? the one going to school, not the newborn.

No, I plan to visit the clinic this afternoon.
Do you think it will still help despite the fact that she already had flu several times?

 

[Loumina]

Truthfully there's not a whole lot to do about it, but also don't worry overly. They pick up all sorts of nasties at the creche, and then they wipe their little snotty noses all over the baby's face giving them kisses, and then walla you've got a snotty coughy baby to deal with at night. Short of removing them from the environment, that's just reality till they get a bit older.

Don't be too shy with the old meds - they do a lot to relieve symptoms. You should certainly take her to the doctor though as she is very young to be getting ill and you need good advice on medication.

Thank you.
Some old meds to recommend in the meantime?

 

[GreyBush]

No, I plan to visit the clinic this afternoon.
Do you think it will still help despite the fact that she already had flu several times?

Suppose it will stop her getting the flu again, the sister will know best

 

[Stefanmuller]

Thank you.
Some old meds to recommend in the meantime?

If she is chesty and slimy the doc may subscribe Monte Air sprinkles. Otherwise Ileadin drops or spray will help with nose. Go to your GP at least.