You allow yourself to be driven mate. The emotions that are stirred within you, when your insecurities about your irrational faith are confronted, cause you to get angry and lose control.
You have made another common mistake in your post by assuming my faith is irrational. I can't prove the existance of God and don't claim to either. You can't prove He doesn't. For either one of us to claim irrationality is in itself irrational.