what exactly constitutes cheating?

Garson007 said:
Cheating is such an oversubscribed topic these days.

If she is still sleeping with you and cares for you at the end of the day, does it really ****ing matter? I get jealousy - really I do. But get over it. Talk about it. Try and build an understanding of where things went wrong or how it can be better. Dancing with someone? Are you ****ing ****ting me?
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so much passion so early on a mondai
 
MickeyD said:
Did you read the OP?
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I read the OP, and if I danced and grinded with another girl, I'd expect my girlfriend to get jealous.

Look it does depend on the dancing itself - how grindy it was. But, if ANY grinding was involved, it was cheating.
 
Ancalagon said:
I read the OP, and if I danced and grinded with another girl, I'd expect my girlfriend to get jealous.

Look it does depend on the dancing itself - how grindy it was. But, if ANY grinding was involved, it was cheating.
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So its all good if you grind another male?

edit:

winner said:
Most people will go around telling you that don't forgive a cheater and what not but what exactly constitute cheating?
To cut the story short, I love my girlfriend dearly but I might have to breakup with her because she was dancing with some dude in a Christmas party. We talked about it and she said she will never do it again but I always ask myself why I have to teach someone what to me sounds like common sense. I know it might sound childish but is it? Where exactly do people draw a line? Cheek kissing? Dry lip kissing? Fresh kissing? Grinding? Massage? Dry humping?
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She sure was grinding...
 
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XennoX said:
So now we crucify people for having different definitions of cheating and thus by extension the definition of monogamy and polygamy? Well done MyBB, well done..
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Um, isn't that what the OP is doing to his gf? Clearly the boundaries and rules of the relationship hadn't been set and she had different ideas.
 
Learning to grind

[video=youtube;4s21sg0goqM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s21sg0goqM[/video]
 
YAY a topic I can weigh in on.

Cheating is very easy to define. when you do something you feel you need to hide from your partner.
that is what cheating is.
for some people a flirty message is cheating.
if the rules for cheating in a relationship were 100% set in stone no relationships would ever work.

for me and my SO, that would not be cheating at all, we would laugh it off 100%.

however, if I were to do something with another girl and hide what I was doing from my SO, that would be cheating. even if it were a peck on the cheek. its not so much the action as the lie about it.

OP in your case, she did not hide it, you knew about it, and you could speak about it like an adult, what is the issue? if you got angry, and it all started a fight then maybe you should not be in a relationship with anyone until you can trust yourself***

***lots of missing context here, a fight where people get angry is fine, but if you ever look back and say to yourself, you know what, maybe I was out of line and I should not have said those things, then trust me, get yourself in order before you get to your next relationship first
 
abzo said:
You can't just say things like that without providing a link.
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just follow my post history dude. lol.

also RH is seriously missing the point. I have added what I view as cheating already many, many times.

hiding your actions from your SO = cheating, even if what you did was nothing sexual
 
I get what Baxteen is saying, I understand his stuff. I';m just completely different.

I had a thing going with a guy in Cape Town for about 2 years. He wasn't allowed to sleep/go out with other women and I wasn't allowed to do that with guys. Truth be told, I honestly don't even know if he did meet up with anybody else, even if he did cheat, I wouldn't have known about it. I'm an insanely jealous person and if my boyfriend is a little too friendly with someone else, I might freak out a bit. That doesn't mean he's cheating though

Cheating, in my opinion, is betraying the person you have a relationship with. Whether it's sex, kissing, obvious flirting (I'm not gonna go through your phone and read your messages cause I'll just get upset, so whatever is on the phone, that's your business) or an emotional connection. If you're gonna do something with someone else, leave me first and go on your own.
 
Baxteen said:
YAY a topic I can weigh in on.

Cheating is very easy to define. when you do something you feel you need to hide from your partner.
that is what cheating is.
for some people a flirty message is cheating.
if the rules for cheating in a relationship were 100% set in stone no relationships would ever work.

for me and my SO, that would not be cheating at all, we would laugh it off 100%.

however, if I were to do something with another girl and hide what I was doing from my SO, that would be cheating. even if it were a peck on the cheek. its not so much the action as the lie about it.

OP in your case, she did not hide it, you knew about it, and you could speak about it like an adult, what is the issue? if you got angry, and it all started a fight then maybe you should not be in a relationship with anyone until you can trust yourself***

***lots of missing context here, a fight where people get angry is fine, but if you ever look back and say to yourself, you know what, maybe I was out of line and I should not have said those things, then trust me, get yourself in order before you get to your next relationship first
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i think the basis for cheating is the dishonesty and the threat of leaving - if you and your SO can be honest about what you guys do and even more bravely - be upfront of what you want to do, it should all be good.

being in a poly relationship i know what my partner will be getting up to, where she is going, that she'll be home later, that any guy she meets will know about me, etc :p
 
Firstly, a grind is a grind. Go watch the video 'Nelly - Tip Drill'. So yes, it is a form of betrayal.

How did you find out about it btw?
 
winner said:
Most people will go around telling you that don't forgive a cheater and what not but what exactly constitute cheating?
To cut the story short, I love my girlfriend dearly but I might have to breakup with her because she was dancing with some dude in a Christmas party. We talked about it and she said she will never do it again but I always ask myself why I have to teach someone what to me sounds like common sense. I know it might sound childish but is it? Where exactly do people draw a line? Cheek kissing? Dry lip kissing? Fresh kissing? Grinding? Massage? Dry humping?
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Dancing, really?

I sit at the bar and my wife dances with the whole damn place. (I don't do dancing)
That being said, it happened 6 months ago and you need to break up with her now? Jirre, something's obviously not right here. You have deeper issues. If you feel you want to break up with her do so. Don't use something that happened 6 months ago to justify it...
 
It's not a hard and fast rule, for some it's flirting, for others an open relationship may be ok. My general rule of thumb is that for it to not be cheating, you have to be able to tell your SO what happened, and she must be ok with it.
 
winner said:
I don't know if there is something wrong with my line of thought. The dance was more like grinding. And the 5 months is because I've been trying to get over it
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Dump her. If she's grinding another man in front of you then she has very little respect (or love for that matter) for you. And if you haven't been able to get over it in 5 months you'll never get over it.

On the other hand she could have been doing it to get your attention? Maybe she wants a bigger commitment from you and thought that might wake you up? Otherwise why do it in your line of sight? Just throwing that out there, but you know her better. Still for both your sanity I say dump her.
 
Akasha said:
I get what Baxteen is saying, I understand his stuff. I';m just completely different.

I had a thing going with a guy in Cape Town for about 2 years. He wasn't allowed to sleep/go out with other women and I wasn't allowed to do that with guys. Truth be told, I honestly don't even know if he did meet up with anybody else, even if he did cheat, I wouldn't have known about it. I'm an insanely jealous person and if my boyfriend is a little too friendly with someone else, I might freak out a bit. That doesn't mean he's cheating though

Cheating, in my opinion, is betraying the person you have a relationship with. Whether it's sex, kissing, obvious flirting (I'm not gonna go through your phone and read your messages cause I'll just get upset, so whatever is on the phone, that's your business) or an emotional connection. If you're gonna do something with someone else, leave me first and go on your own.
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This.
 
Jirre you lot must have dull lives.

So your SO/GF/BF can't even have a dance no more?

Wow, glad I'm not with any of you :p
 
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