(What rouxenator thinks are) funny jokes

Sinbad

Honorary Master
Joined
Jun 5, 2006
Messages
67,394
It is time for this to be forked from the Funniest Jokes you Know thread.

Dankness does not translate well into words ..........
 

satanboy

Psychonaut seven
Joined
Sep 13, 2007
Messages
97,765
Which part of the chicken has the most feathers?
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The outside.
 

Geoff.D

Honorary Master
Joined
Aug 4, 2005
Messages
10,897
Hope long jokes are acceptable?

Here goes a new one recently posted on a watsop group I belong to:

A man was seated next to a kid in an aeroplane. The man turned to the kid and said, "let's talk".
Kid: "ok, what do we talk about?"
Man, (making fun of kid): "How about Nuclear Power?"
Kid: "Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question .... Horses, cows and deer all eat grass. Yet Deer excrete pellets, cows flat patties and horses clumps. Why?"
Man: "I don't know".
Kid: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss Nuclear issues when you don't know schit?"
 

Sinbad

Honorary Master
Joined
Jun 5, 2006
Messages
67,394
Hope long jokes are acceptable?

Here goes a new one recently posted on a watsop group I belong to:

A man was seated next to a kid in an aeroplane. The man turned to the kid and said, "let's talk".
Kid: "ok, what do we talk about?"
Man, (making fun of kid): "How about Nuclear Power?"
Kid: "Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question .... Horses, cows and deer all eat grass. Yet Deer excrete pellets, cows flat patties and horses clumps. Why?"
Man: "I don't know".
Kid: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss Nuclear issues when you don't know schit?"
You have it wrong. This is vaguely amusing, unlike the crud that Roux is posting in the funny jokes thread.
 

satanboy

Psychonaut seven
Joined
Sep 13, 2007
Messages
97,765
A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”

The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good. And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”

And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on.”
 

Geoff.D

Honorary Master
Joined
Aug 4, 2005
Messages
10,897
Direct :whistling: translation:
Kann ein Känguru höher als ein Haus springen?
Can a Kangaroo higher than a Rabbit jump?
Kan ń Kangaroe hoër as ń Haas spring?.
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Ja! Weil ein Haus nicht springen kann.
Yes! Because a Rabbit not jump can.
Ja! Terwyl/Omdat ń Haas nie spring kan.
 
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Geoff.D

Honorary Master
Joined
Aug 4, 2005
Messages
10,897
Yes, that is the trap and the play on words! was wondering who would be the one to pick it up.
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
36,176
What's the difference between disobeying your superiors and being consecrated within a Swedish car?
One is insubordination and the other is in Saab ordination.
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
36,176
If you're half man and half bull and work in a call centre, you would have to tell everyone "this call may be minotaured for quality control purposes".
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
36,176
What's the difference between a fancy man who makes witty plays on words and an onion?
The onion is pungent and the other is a pun Gent.
 
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