(What rouxenator thinks are) funny jokes

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
37,654
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
37,654
If you have a grade A time keeper made to time playground games used by a failed fool, then you have a botched fop's top notch hop scotch stop watch .

New Tesla's don't come with a new car smell, they come with an Elon Musk.
 

satanboy

Psychonaut seven
Joined
Sep 13, 2007
Messages
98,799
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?"
And I told him, "No it doesn't!"
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
37,654
Two old men go into a whore house.

The head prostitute tells the new girl to put a couple of blow up dolls in their beds and take out the bulbs of their lamps. "They pretty much blind anyway" she explained.

Later that night, the first old man comes down the stairs looking worried. "I think the woman I'm with is dead?"

"Why?" Asked the new girl.

"She ain't movin or breathin."

Before she can attempt to explain the second old man comes down the sairs with the same worried look on his face. "I think the woman I was with was a witch!"

"Why?" Asked the new girl again.

"Well when I bit her on the boob she farted and flew out the window!"
 

bdt

Executive Member
Joined
Jun 7, 2004
Messages
6,984
This janitor just asked if I wanted to smoke some weed with him. I politely declined; I can't deal with high maintenance people.
 

bdt

Executive Member
Joined
Jun 7, 2004
Messages
6,984
A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So, I just switched the heads.'
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
37,654
I met a southern girl once who had an amphibian metallic hood ornament.
I said to her.
Sweet chrome salamander
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
37,654
If someone into BSDM edits images of someone doing the exact same thing does that make it a gimp GIMPing a gimp gimping while GIMPing?
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
37,654
What is the difference between a carton container that hold sticks you can make fire with and a sleeve for your foot you found in a girls ghwap ?

One is a match box the other is a snatch sox.
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
37,654
What is the difference between something that was molded by pouring liquid metal into a shape and the rear of a lesbian?

One is die cast the other is dyke ass.
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
37,654
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.
The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ To ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan And didn’t I marry ye and yer Hoosband two years ago?’
She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’
The Father asked, ‘And be there Any wee little ones yet?’
She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’
The Father said, ‘Well now, I’m going to Rome next week And I’ll light a fertility candle for ye And yer hoosband.’
She replied, ‘Oh, thank ye, Father…’ They then parted ways..
Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, ‘Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?’
She replied, ‘Oh, very well, Father!’
The Father asked, ‘And tell me , Have ye any wee ones yet?’
She replied, ‘Oh yes, Father!
Two sets of twins and six singles, Ten in all!’
The Father said, ‘That’s wonderful!
And how is yer loving hoosband doing?’
She replied, ‘E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
37,654
What is the difference between a fixed supply of water next to the road used by the fire brigade and when a monk is up in arms about feeble leather?


One is a fire hydrant the other is a friar hide rant.
 
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