(What rouxenator thinks are) funny jokes

Geoff.D

Honorary Master
Joined
Aug 4, 2005
Messages
10,897
Coincidence

A young lady several months pregnant boarded a bus and a young man sitting opposite her smiled.
Feeling humiliated by her condition, she changed her seat, but the young man seemed more amused, and when she changed her seat, again and again, for the 4th time, he burst out laughing.

She had the man arrested (no doubt the original SJW). When the case opened, the Equality Court Judge asked the accused what he had to say for himself.

"My Lord, I noticed the lady's condition when she boarded the bus. When she sat under the advertisement, "Coming Shortly - The Gold Dust Twins", I smiled.
Then she moved further up the bus under the ad "Sloans Liniment Relieves Swelling",I was more amused than ever.
When she moved again and sat under the sign "Williams Stick Did the Trick" I could not help laughing.
But her last move crowned everything. She sat beside the Ad "Dunlop Rubber Goods could have prevented this Accident" I roared with laughter."
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
36,176
What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norsk monarchs?
The Bikings.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta.

What do you call it when a mental patient has a one night stand?
Nut screws and bolts.
 

Rouxenator

Dank meme lord
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
36,176
Here's our first date.

I take you to this fancy Italian restaurant downtown I've been wanting to try out called Mom's. It's quiet and serene, we sit at a candlelit table. We both order the spaghetti and I make an obligatory "Lady & The Tramp" joke. After conversation over drinks, we go back to my place. We anxiously make eye contact as our hearts begin to beat faster. I kiss you and it takes your breath away. Your palms get sweaty. Knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on your sweater already. Mom's spaghetti.
 

Deadmanza

Honorary Master
Joined
Sep 13, 2013
Messages
11,323
What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norsk monarchs?
The Bikings.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta.

What do you call it when a mental patient has a one night stand?
Nut screws and bolts.
shouldn't it be Screws Nut and bolts?
 

satanboy

Psychonaut seven
Joined
Sep 13, 2007
Messages
97,765
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
 

ShaunSA

Derailment Squad
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
27,870
Here's our first date.

I take you to this fancy Italian restaurant downtown I've been wanting to try out called Mom's. It's quiet and serene, we sit at a candlelit table. We both order the spaghetti and I make an obligatory "Lady & The Tramp" joke. After conversation over drinks, we go back to my place. We anxiously make eye contact as our hearts begin to beat faster. I kiss you and it takes your breath away. Your palms get sweaty. Knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on your sweater already. Mom's spaghetti.
:unsure: o_O
 

Prawnapple

Expert Member
Joined
May 18, 2015
Messages
1,149
>be 15
>have history with really hot girl
>datass.jpg
>we talk sometimes, but nothing special. don't think she's into me
>still try to talk to her as much as I can anyways
>one day in class she drops her pencil
>she bends down to pick it up
>she's not wearing panties
>holy ****ing chit
>turns around and looks at me
>"like what you see?"
>start freaking out
>whole class goes "ooooooooooohhh"
>she asks me, "if you had one opportunity would you capture it or just let it slip?"
>palms are sweaty
>knees weak, arms are heavy
>it's falling out of my pockets already
>mom's spaghetti
 
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