What was your worst consensual sexual experience?

[Seriously]

Who's fighting? Not me.

You're the one that got triggered to the max.

You do seem to take things way too....seriously.

Shem. As someone already noted. ....... No sense of humour at all. Just like an old fart.
Here .... a freebie Noddy badge for your humour or rather lack thereof.

 

[ice_cubes]

where to start . . .


i grab hottie and pull him onto the bed, rip his pants off him thinking a quick handy will end this nightmare.
he's flat on his back & i pounce on him to pin him down, i reach for, and grab his peen, and i'm like wtf ??
i move back a little to let my eyes focus - - - a micropeen is staring me in the face.
"oh lord" i think to myself" i dont even know what to do with this little fragile looking thing.
giving a handy will be quite a challenge, and there is no way on earth that thing was going in my mouth.
the gods smiled upon me, a few strokes and my torment was over.
with that, i leapt off the bed, pulled up my pants and claimed i had to get back to town before my car was towed away.
got back to town, hottie was in love, i was aghast, leapt out of his car and into mine and sped away not looking back.

the trauma of micropeen! You just took me back to a place I never wanted to go back to!

 

[Mike Hoxbig]

the trauma of micropeen! You just took me back to a place I never wanted to go bak to!

Do you now identify as female because of it?

 

[ice_cubes]

Do you now identify as female because of it?

lol! I am a female
Nah, just some dude who was blowing his own horn & when it came to action time - his erect micro couldn't even fill a condom...it hung like a loose baby sock

 

[EMAM]

lol! I am a female
Nah, just some dude who wa blowing his own horn & when it came to action time - his erect micro couldn't even fill a condom...it hung like a loose baby sock

Oh....I know one of those

 

[ArtyLoop]

lol! I am a female
Nah, just some dude who wa blowing his own horn & when it came to action time - his erect micro couldn't even fill a condom...it hung like a loose baby sock

Oh dear... that's sad..

 

[bromster]

*sigh

 

[ice_cubes]

Oh dear... that's sad..

The embarassment I never spoke to him again.

 

[The_Mowgs]

lol! I am a female
Nah, just some dude who was blowing his own horn & when it came to action time - his erect micro couldn't even fill a condom...it hung like a loose baby sock

In all honesty what did you do when he revealed it?

 

[ice_cubes]

Then there was another who couldn't keep it up long enough to even start! Gave it another chance and he died halfway again!

He inboxes me few months later & asks if I can hook him up with libido pills - I never replied!

 

[ice_cubes]

In all honesty what did you do when he revealed it?

I thought I was seeing things! Tried my best to keep a straight face (ok, I wanted to touch it incase the rest of it was tucked away somewhere by mistake!) LOL!

 

[pinball wizard]

Nah, just some dude who was blowing his own horn & when it came to action time - his erect micro couldn't even fill a condom...it hung like a loose baby sock

Was he like triple jointed or something?

 

[Polymathic]

Well not just one but a few one nighters,
**losing interest like almost immediately
**start looking around just thinking about random thoughts
**then start to worry she'll notice I'm not enjoying it,
**make eye contact with her I realise I don't give AF about her to even get excited about what's going on.
**Then start to wonder what's wrong with me.
**Bust a nut and realise this was a absolute waste or time.
If I actually like a girl things are completely different.

 

[Compton_effect]

Oh....I know one of those

I have a friend who coined a philosophy she calls the mushroom motivation. Her logic is as follows - have sex early in the relationship, so you know what you have to work with. You do not want to wait for the wedding night to discover he is hung like a baby mushroom.

 

[ArtyLoop]

I have a friend who coined a philosophy she calls the mushroom motivation. Her logic is as follows - have sex early in the relationship, so you know what you have to work with. You do not want to wait for the wedding night to discover he is hung like a baby mushroom.

That has been said for decades, even when I was a teen, we were told one needs to "test drive" before you buy.
This is also one of the reasons why I despise religion, because religion says you should rather be surprised on the wedding night... ermm... nope... imagine ending up with a clit-less woman?

 

[Ninja'd]

That has been said for decades, even when I was a teen, we were told one needs to "test drive" before you buy.
This is also one of the reasons why I despise religion, because religion says you should rather be surprised on the wedding night... ermm... nope... imagine ending up with a clit-less woman?

What's a clit?

 

[EMAM]

I have a friend who coined a philosophy she calls the mushroom motivation. Her logic is as follows - have sex early in the relationship, so you know what you have to work with. You do not want to wait for the wedding night to discover he is hung like a baby mushroom.

"Mushroom motivation"
That REALLY reminds me of someone!

 

[Sinbad]

"Mushroom motivation"
That REALLY reminds me of someone!

Donald Trump, apparently

 

[pinball wizard]

What's a clit?

https://www.google.co.za/search?ei=uQa_W8nXL4_ykwWhqJ-ACg&q=what's+a+clit&oq=what's+a+clit&gs_l=psy-ab.3..0l10.9909.12378.0.12661.13.10.0.0.0.0.429.1579.2-2j2j1.5.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..8.5.1578...0i67k1j0i131k1.0.nvUkb7gd7o0

In view of your question you future partner might like it if you read these:
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a40047/things-you-never-knew-about-your-clit/
https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/what-is-the-clitoris

 

[Craig_]

That has been said for decades, even when I was a teen, we were told one needs to "test drive" before you buy.
This is also one of the reasons why I despise religion, because religion says you should rather be surprised on the wedding night... ermm... nope... imagine ending up with a clit-less woman?

I didn't even know there existed something like a clit-less woman.