Whats the most stupid request you got?

G

guest2013-1

guest
Joined
Aug 22, 2003
Messages
19,800
Once in my earlier days I got a client who wanted something developed. I arranged a meeting to define specifications and in the meeting he said "It's simple, all I want is THIS on the PC" (pointing to a PDF document with pricing and products)

I frowned and told him it was already on the PC... and so it began


9 months later the entire project was scrapped after I've probably re-written everything 3 times, the last one he told me "No, but the other agents need this on their PC too and I'd like to synchronize their sales while on the road"

I [sarcasm]love[/sarcasm] these clients....
 
F

FarligOpptreden

Executive Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2007
Messages
5,396
...and I guess the thought of a central database access through a sort of web-app didn't make any sense to the client? :p
 
M

MielieSpoor

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2006
Messages
1,984
I had to develop some brainfart where they wanted to track budgets on projects but they didn't really know what they wanted to do with it. Everyweek everything changed and at the end I just gave up and asked if I can be moved to something else.
 
W

WiT8litZ

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2005
Messages
951
We had a client who asked if we could code the printing facility/button to print on both sides of the page.
 
Necuno

Necuno

Court Jester
Joined
Sep 27, 2005
Messages
58,567
by far no1. to accept a collect call on a toll free number. (whislt working in support center)
 
Datura

Datura

Captain Faptastic
Joined
Oct 12, 2006
Messages
47,705
I was asked by a developer NOT to test certain parts of his software as it may be buggy and he didn't want to look bad. WTF?!?
 
K

koffiejunkie

Executive Member
Joined
Aug 23, 2004
Messages
9,588
1. Client phones: "Our website is not loading/we're not getting mail." "What's your domain name, sir/mam?" "whatever.com"

So load up the site - sure enough it's not loading. So I look up the domain - it's expired. Or worse, it's not even registered.

2. Client phones: "Our website is not loading/we're not getting mail." "What's your domain name, sir/mam?" "whatever.com"

So load up the site - sure enough it's not loading. Look up the domain - it's exists, isn't expired, points to the client's server, but it's not configured on the server. Date stamps show the configuration hasn't changed in 9 months. And they only notice this now?

3. Phone call. "My site's down AGAIN. You broke it AGAIN. I'm so sick of this! Our site is more down than up! This has been going on for months! I'm gonna sue you!" [abuse continues...] I calm down the customer enough to be able to ask: "Sir, what's your account number?" "I don't know my account number! JUST FIX IT!" "OK, sir, what is the domain name?" "www.blah.com"

So I look up the domain. It's hosted with our competitor. The guy on the phone is not even our client - no idea why he's phoning us. I tell him he got the wrong number but I'll put him through to the right guys. I transfer him to sales :)

4. Daily occurrence. Client complains mail is not going through. I log into the box, find there are 100,000+ mails in the queue. Mail is not going through because they're blacklisted. Client asks, how do we fix this? I say, stop spamming?

5. Another regular occurrence. We're a Red Hat shop. We supply our servers with RHEL with full support and RHN subscription for the lifetime of the product. Some clients want to run Debian, Ubuntu or some flavour of BSD, for various reasons. In such cases, they forgo all but the most basic support. I have no problems with that - there are legitimate reasons to want to run a different distro.

But what really annoys me are clients who insist they want CentOS. Or worse, Fedora. Look, I have no problem with CentOS. But Why forgo support for a clone of what we're offering? That's just stupid. Fedora, I can understand why people want that instead of RHEL. Because they're stupid. They build their apps with no clue what PHP version they have/need and then freak out when they put it on the RHEL server and it complains about undefined variables or whatever.
 
V

Vixremento

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 28, 2009
Messages
378
I was once requested to go an work for a financial instituition (actually twice)...The first one closed shop 7 months after their offer. I would probably not have lasted that long there...pretty sure the razor blade would have won.
 
B

bobbytb

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
314
Develop a very serious business website using "strictly" MS Comic Sans
 
GreGorGy

GreGorGy

BULLSFAN
Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
15,289
My worst? someone once asked me "Whats the most stupid request you got?"
hahahaha

Worst: Why are you charging Rxxxxx (thousands) for a website when I saw websites for R599 on a street pole advert? We will pay you R599...

I advised them to go to the street pole people as they were obviously much better than me. A well-known company and website, btw, that has existed since 96 or 97 (can't remember). They did return and pay the thousands when the street advert told them the website URL was www.some-cheap-agency.co.za/~yourcompany/ and the site comprised a welcome page and a contact page.
 
GreGorGy

GreGorGy

BULLSFAN
Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
15,289
koffiejunkie said:
Why do people still do that? It's not exactly expensive to register a domain...
Click to expand...

This was back in '97 ...

Also, domain registration is cheap and easy for those in the know. For most people who just want a site though, their business-in-a-box solution will include a R400 registration and R100 annual renewal. But even that is not THAT expensive, let's face it.
 
TelkomUseless

TelkomUseless

Honorary Master
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Messages
14,785
Many many moons ago (8 years probably).

Had a client who wanted a www site. They give us mockups.. looks like crap. Purple colours, yellow fonts etc. Looks like a grade 1 colouring.

We give them a powerpoint with some nice look and feel.

Guess what, nope. They WANT their fantastic grade 1 colour website. We did do the website in their colours.

And we removed our names from the website.
 
P

Pyro

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 8, 2003
Messages
2,267
WiT8litZ said:
We had a client who asked if we could code the printing facility/button to print on both sides of the page.
Click to expand...

Well, isn't that possible if the printer supports it?

Can also be done if they can keep their head screwed on long enough to feed paper through twice.
 
R

remybfg10k

Expert Member
Joined
May 24, 2007
Messages
3,798
TelkomUseless said:
Many many moons ago (8 years probably).

Had a client who wanted a www site. They give us mockups.. looks like crap. Purple colours, yellow fonts etc. Looks like a grade 1 colouring.

We give them a powerpoint with some nice look and feel.

Guess what, nope. They WANT their fantastic grade 1 colour website. We did do the website in their colours.

And we removed our names from the website.
Click to expand...

Could you post the url, would love to see it haha
 
W

WiT8litZ

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2005
Messages
951
Pyro said:
Well, isn't that possible if the printer supports it?

Can also be done if they can keep their head screwed on long enough to feed paper through twice.
Click to expand...
Or just cofigure the printer themselves to do it :) You'd have to go into some pretty hardcore coding to get a printer to print 2 sides via ASP
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top