Over the past 3 years I've sat back and watched my life go up and down, there's multiple things I could mention but I feel as if it wouldn't make a difference aside from revealing my true identity, as of 2019 I have no friends, the place I work doesn't respect me and I have no ambition to push myself towards a better life, I'm sick of the fake intimacy, the lies, this facade that people put on, we're fooling each other with this bullshit, what does it matter? Who the **** cares about your shiny new car, your rolex watch, your fancy big house or your group of fake friends. I'm overwhelmed by this urge to break away and get out of the city, I've thought about suicide but I don't think I could ever bring myself to leave my family behind, not after all they've done for me.
I just want a simple life is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep hoping this feeling of emptiness is only temporary.
Apologies if this is too much but I needed somewhere to vent.
Thanks for listening
May sound absurd but I've been down this path, partially, and it's quite enlightening. When you start questioning things like what is the purpose of it all, why should you carry on etc then it opens tons of doors.
Lets say for instance that you are miserable, caught in the great existential crisis, and now you want to kill yourself. Well, when you see that as the waste it is but realise you could no longer be here then you reset your mindset. Starting from this position is powerful as you look into the depths of despair and see you can only go up. Well done now your possibilities are endless.
Maybe you want to pack it all in and slow down. Trying to escape your reality won't solve your problems but I believe it is good to focus on what you want out of life from time to time. Being able to delay gratification is a powerful thing, but also identifying what you want out of life and making sure you get to enjoy it before it's all over is another important aspect. This may be moving to a little house by the beach, living on a deserted island, becoming a navy seal, becoming a skydiver.... who knows.
I guess the main thing to happiness is setting goals and taking responsibility. Unfortunately, much like other conventional and common wisdom it's passed around and said so much that the true essence of it is lost.
If you have no friends, make a goal to make friends. Don't do this by trying to talk to people and putting yourself in an awkward position, but rather find something you're passionate about, attend groups that enjoy doing that activity and slowly make friends with those people. Don't fall into the trap of thinking the first time you go to an event you need to come out with friends; baby steps. Just go first, try and enjoy the activity and the environment for it's purpose and things will happen thereafter in their own time.
Not being respected at work? Try identify why. Are you too timid to assert yourself? If so then either work on overcoming that or even try to make peace with it. You could perhaps befriend someone that is willing to be your advocate and do what you cannot. My brother is a pretty timid guy and has always been taken advantage of by employers. I've always tried my best to fight for him and I've done this by getting previous companies employ him in my position when I leave. I got a message from my previous employer last week thanking me massively for recommending him, he's only been there a month or 2 but he's one of the best employees they've ever had. On the other side my brother gets a very nice salary and messaged me a week ago saying he's having a great time, very little stress, gets to do what he wants and they keep praising him for doing such a great job.
Not happy to play the game of life? I like watching Survivor and the older I get the more I realise how life is just like Survivor in many ways, especially when you look at rising the ranks of corporate life (just 1 of a billion examples). There are always going to be the good people, the bad people and everything inbetween. It's an important and innate ability of humans to pick up on these differences although there are different levels of skill and manipulation across the board. At the end of the day many people are out for their own interest, it's just that sometimes peoples own interests are helping others. Either way look at it as a game, enjoy playing rather than being a bad sport and take solace in knowing that no one gets out alive. Just like monopoly, at some point the board gets packed up and put back in the box even if you did bankrupt the bank.
You're right when you think who cares about the shiny car, big house etc etc. The problem is many people get these things to impress others at the jeopardy of their own happiness. I just bought a big house a few months ago. I did this to a) own my own property where I am and b) So my pets could have a nice garden to play in. The rental I was in before was nice but the garden got slushy when it rained. I now already have my sights on the next goal, a new house with a bigger garden. I'd love to have a much bigger place for the pets to run around and play. Making them happy makes me happy and I'd love to provide them with a garden the size of the one I had when I stayed in SA. Don't get me wrong I'm glad I have a great space for them but it can always be bigger and better for them and I don't want it to impress others. I'm happy with what I have and will be happy if I succeed too.
Ultimately you are responsible for your own life and you can choose to be the master of your own destiny. Think, analyse and try understand what it is that you want/need to make you happy. It doesn't matter if it's big or small and whether you achieve it or not, identifying it and at the very least working towards it will bring you some happiness. Also, pay attention to the small wins and celebrate them. Every step taken towards what you want in life is a step in the right direction. Also, always find something new and bigger to tackle. If there's one thing I can say for certain about humans is that we are always looking for the next thing to achieve. This is exactly the reason why people like Mark Zuckerberg don't just cash in and relax for the rest of their lives.
Sign up with Google