Who has to Financially look after their retired parent(s)/inlaw(s)

[Other Pineapple Smurf]

There are many reasons for having to look after one's parents/inlaws.

We have reasons like black tax, sandwich generation, bad financial planning and then not giving a fat pineapple about retirement. We also have poor parents that sacrificed everything to give their children a good future and sadly we have parents who just outlived their savings.



I've got to look after the old pineapple out of legal obligation, not because I want to, as he never adulted in his life about retirement and only has excuses for his situation. A SASSA old age grant only goes so far and in his case, that is to the nearest fish n chips shop when he is not rotting in his room surfing my internet or binge-watching Judge Judy.



I know many who are in the same boat and hearing from a local old age society they are seeing elderly moving in together or moving in with family. I don't judge why as I don't know the circumstances. We don't have the social support structure in this country to look after all the elderly and many old age NFP's are more interested in money (ironic) than the cause.



Having grand-pineapples at home should be seen as normal as little grand-pineapples should get to enjoy having them around but the reasons why should not cause resentment towards the parents.

 

[SZN]

I voted responsible for parents, but more accurate would be helping them out.

My mum still works and my dad, well let's not get into that.

Part black tax, part poor financial planning, part laziness/stupidity but mostly putting all their resources into me to get a good education/qualification.

A good chunk of my salary goes to them every month directly, plus ad hoc when the need arises. Been like this since I started working (properly).

Don't see this going away anytime soon, if anything will increase significantly once my mum stops working. Should be mostly okay though as I'm fully qualified now, so income will climb steadily. Also if I'm able to emigrate, the exchange rate should help me.

Honestly it really annoys me sometimes, especially when I see the stupid things they spend money on (do we really need Macadamian honey from Woolies?).

I always used to laugh during articles when my friends would complain about how they couldn't make it financially n needed their parents to bail them out.

But yeah, that's life I guess. It's definitely taught me to be financially responsible and if I have kids one day, I'll make damn sure I don't rely on them financially.

 

[RedViking]

I've got to look after the old pineapple out of legal obligation, not because I want to, as he never adulted in his life about retirement and only has excuses for his situation. A SASSA old age grant only goes so far and in his case, that is to the nearest fish n chips shop when he is not rotting in his room surfing my internet or binge-watching Judge Judy.

Are we talking about @Pineapple Smurf here?

 

[Lupus]

My dad looks after himself. My MIL sigh she's made some mistakes in the past, mostly can look after herself but we supply about 1000 for food

 

[rh1]

I voted not my problem, I used to but I realised I was subsidising my adult siblings party lifestyle. I do help out now and then, where I know I am not subsidising them.

My brother is currently subsidising them. I told him what to do as it is creating financial difficulties for him and his family.

It is really simple, my mom have 2 sources of income which is sufficient for her needs but not enough to support two grown ass men who are working but like to party.

 

[Neuk_]

Thank goodness, neither my parents or my future-in-laws need any assistance, even though both sets of parents help many in both families financially.

 

[Matt91]

I'm responsible for my folks. Mom's blind and Dad made some pretty daft choices - he's atleast trying and he's making a decent go of it. Hopefully one day enough to not rely on me anymore.

 

[PsYTraNc3]

in-laws
The father is still working but does not earn enough so we help out every month.
Seems like a sort of marriage tax which I do not like, partially due to very bad financial planning and also a result of staying with a company that just milks you.
He has a good job but gets paid peanuts for it

 

[Other Pineapple Smurf]

Are we talking about @Pineapple Smurf here?

No, not him, he can hunt and fend for himself while he defends his caravan from the zombie horde. Anyway, his artisan pineapple brewery is his retirement planning.

 

[cr@zydude]

My parents haven't retired yet. While they worked incredibly hard to get my sister and I to where we are now, they were financially savvy and both have good pension setups.

I don't expect to need to do anything for them, but would of course help if they needed it.

 

[RedViking]

Well my mother has zero pension and were financially screwed while I grew up. Dad died of cancer at 45 and R50 in his bank account. So I guess when she can't work anymore someone is gonna have to pay the bills.

 

[nazmo]

My parents due to reasons outside of their control was not allowed to get positions or promoted to certain levels, as a result a big fat pension and property portfolio was never possible. The meer fact that got my sibling and I through university, got a house paid off is a monumental achievement!

i will wholeheartedly give every extra bit of income to make their twilight years as pleasant as possible. Their quality of life must improve on the back of the success of their children.

 

[SZN]

My parents due to reasons outside of their control was not allowed to get positions or promoted to certain levels, as a result a big fat pension and property portfolio was never possible. The meer fact that got my sibling and I through university, got a house paid off is a monumental achievement!

i will wholeheartedly give every extra bit of income to make their twilight years as pleasant as possible. Their quality of life must improve on the back of the success of their children.

You've got the right attitude, it will take you far in life

 

[Gaz{M}]

In laws need a little help each month. But typical story of them not knowing how poor they are and spending money on luxuries like fancy meat, prawns etc.

 

[Mephisto_Helix]

I'm thankful every single day that here in the UK my mom has a state payout that covers everything because back in SA, there was nothing coming and she probably would have died working. As she gets older us kids will be around to help in any way she may need, no question. She gave her all for us so why wouldn't we give back.

 

[Paul Kemp]

Don’t have parents to support and my in-laws don’t and won’t need assistance but if they need me to help them physically I’m there without a second thought.

 

[Radioboy]

Responsible for parent.

She went into early retirement, spent it all, now dirt poor.

 

[cr@zydude]

My parents due to reasons outside of their control was not allowed to get positions or promoted to certain levels, as a result a big fat pension and property portfolio was never possible. The meer fact that got my sibling and I through university, got a house paid off is a monumental achievement!

i will wholeheartedly give every extra bit of income to make their twilight years as pleasant as possible. Their quality of life must improve on the back of the success of their children.

I can understand this feeling. When I think of my parents starting out in the 80's I don't think that even at their most optimistic did they think that they would get close to what they have achieved over the last 30+ years.

Luckily for me, the did really well in the late 90s and early 2000s and can probably coast for the next few years into retirement.

 

[Kosmik]

Both ( wife and I ) of our mothers are financially fine at this stage and our fathers have passed but left enough to keep their spouses going.

 

[Jet-Fighter7700]

throwing away my future looking after my parents, sadly or stupidly I can say
reason, poor choices mostly and paranoia, but what can I do? wrestle with this exact problem every damn day of my pitiful existence.
mostly I try ignore it, eventually nature will sort the problem out, but by then I'll need help