Who has to Financially look after their retired parent(s)/inlaw(s)

[Cius]

My parents retired very well. No need to help there financially. Parents in law also just retired but with a lot less. They never got a shot at proper education but ensured their kids got through varsity so I massively respect them. Suspect from what I have seen of other pensioners 20 years beyond their point that the pension increases will not keep up with inflation and at some point I may need to help out there. Hoping it comes after my kids finish university and are independent (14 years time or so).

Both sets of my grandparents on my parents side had zero qualifications and worked blue collar their whole lives but managed to get all their kids through university so me and my cousins all grew up very comfortably with no need to help our folks out. Hence I think of it as a privilege to be able to assist the in laws if it is ever needed as they made the same sacrifice. They are not the type to abuse it either. In fact I suspect the bigger issue will be persuading them to accept help when they need it as they are proudly independent.

 

[nazmo]

My parents retired very well. No need to help there financially. Parents in law also just retired but with a lot less. They never got a shot at proper education but ensured their kids got through varsity so I massively respect them. Suspect from what I have seen of other pensioners 20 years beyond their point that the pension increases will not keep up with inflation and at some point I may need to help out there. Hoping it comes after my kids finish university and are independent (14 years time or so).

Both sets of my grandparents on my parents side had zero qualifications and worked blue collar their whole lives but managed to get all their kids through university so me and my cousins all grew up very comfortably with no need to help our folks out. Hence I think of it as a privilege to be able to assist the in laws if it is ever needed as they made the same sacrifice. They are not the type to abuse it either. In fact I suspect the bigger issue will be persuading them to accept help when they need it as they are proudly independent.

I like the term "it's a privelage" as opposed to "duty" or "burden " but obviously not everyone was raised with the same circumstances, and I totally understand when people have an opposite inclination to their parents/inlaws. Every person and their circumstances are unique.

 

[3WA]

Parents bought me a flat. Bought me my first car. Paid for a couple years of varsity. I got a bit of a silver spoon thing going.

I don’t expect to have to help them, but would do it without hesitation (well, help them with money, if they come for organs I'm not so sure).

 

[B-1]

Im gonna have 3 dependants in my future but not yet...

 

[konfab]

I pay my mom's medical aid and help her out monthly, but she earns every cent of it IMO because of how much help she helps with looking after the konfablette. And if we want to go away for a weekend, she pops over to look after the cats.

My FIL will probably work till he croaks, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[Rocket-Boy]

throwing away my future looking after my parents, sadly or stupidly I can say
reason, poor choices mostly and paranoia, but what can I do? wrestle with this exact problem every damn day of my pitiful existence.
mostly I try ignore it, eventually nature will sort the problem out, but by then I'll need help

Im seeing this a lot lately. People want to immigrate but cant because they need to stay to look after parents.
Inevitably once the parents have passed on then its too late to leave this place.

 

[Big Rat]

My parents due to reasons outside of their control was not allowed to get positions or promoted to certain levels, as a result a big fat pension and property portfolio was never possible. The meer fact that got my sibling and I through university, got a house paid off is a monumental achievement!

i will wholeheartedly give every extra bit of income to make their twilight years as pleasant as possible. Their quality of life must improve on the back of the success of their children.

For you sir, i tip my hat.
Respect for a polite way of answering.

My parents did ok-ish, Dad worked hard and passed away couple months after retirement.
Pension got slashed a bit, and mom's pension was not that impressive, due to stay at home mom for a while.
She has enough for the day to day living, saving up for holiday here and there. BUt hsould somehting happen to the car, or fridge, Basically the R5 000 and above oopsies, she comes to me.

 

[Steamy Tom]

providing partially for a parent, really irks me to be honest, puts strain on me mentally and physically and on my household financially and emotionally. The part about it that irks me is that it was largely self inflicted and feels to me like the other party isnt as interested in helping resolve the sisutation themselves.

 

[gregmcc]

Wow. 34% responsible for parents. Would never have thought that.

My parents planned well for their retirement (Already long retired) so don't have to help, but would help without hesitating.

 

[Alton Turner Blackwood]

I share my Netflix account with my dad. My mother passed away two months ago.

I cannot give him money, else he will give it to my sister who's a druggie

 

[Other Pineapple Smurf]

Im seeing this a lot lately. People want to immigrate but cant because they need to stay to look after parents.
Inevitably once the parents have passed on then its too late to leave this place.

Same here, I had to put an opportunity on hold as the cost of support for old pineapple in SA is financially crippling, the reason why he had to move in with us.

Now I'm just clearing the way for the kids to make it easier for them to leave when they are finished with school.

 

[prod]

My sibling and I will eventually have to start helping out, my folks are both retired but I think in 10 years time their pension is going to run out. Medical cost sure is a bitch. I'm busy looking at some investment options that we can contribute to monthly so that they have another little nest egg in 10 years time

 

[koffiejunkie]

I suspect my old lady is in denial about how little her pension is worth. I've been trying to help her plan for it but she's not having any of it. She retires next month, so we'll see...

 

[Other Pineapple Smurf]

providing partially for a parent, really irks me to be honest, puts strain on me mentally and physically and on my household financially and emotionally. The part about it that irks me is that it was largely self inflicted and feels to me like the other party isnt as interested in helping resolve the sisutation themselves.

I was heading for a meltdown as the burden was just pushing me over the edge. I've been getting counselling to help me as I was classified as exhausted by the time I got counselling.

I've learned to move forward emotionally.

 

[Corelli]

The rand tumbles so much that its now cause of that.

When my dad worked as a director of a big construction company he barely earned R15000pm (Yip its a mega billions company today). But then he got that and today's equivalent its worthless. These day the company directors earn in the millions compared to 30 years ago.

So yip the weaking rand has crushed most pensions. And thats why the money havent really grown with inflation as the economy tumbled. Investments in shares also barely grew at all. Only thing that grew was property, till people claimed it was ancestral land, which it wasnt but then prices tumbled from 20 million down to 2 million.

Abroad he wouldve been more succesful.

 

[OCP]

My FIL lives with me. (both my parents have passed some years back)
He is healthy and still very active at 76 + helps by taking and fetching my kids to/from school.

Never really knew my father (parents divorced when I was 6) and he is closest I have had to a dad.
Will look after him until it's his time.

 

[Corelli]

Do Remember

When you retire or someone you know retires, they are allowed to claim UIF for a certain period. Any penny counts, so do apply for it. Especially if they worked full time.

Then also some places gives pensioner discount (Spur has a pensioner Menu), Game gives 10% off on Wednesday,.. There are a few other places to. Use that. Pensioner card also gives discount for visiting different places. Use that too.

If she is healthy, she can try setup a career in renewing people's car licenses. I met a granny that did that. They give her preferential entrance for license renewal, and she walks up and pays for about 15-20 other people's licenses. Easy money.

So yes there is money to be made as a pensioner. But you also got to be wise. Especially the medical aid, at least get a hospital plan. For other items find out where the local clinics are, they can save some money and ask for discount. Many actually give discount.

 

[ch@rge]

Going to have a very interesting decision to make in a few years/months time.

Dad just scrapes by - cancelled his medical aid last year because he could afford it any longer (which we've now resolved). So I'm inclined to think financial assistance for him is coming sooner, rather than later. His pride also stops him from asking us for help.

Mom sold her house two years ago, told us kids to fck off (Not that we were living with her at the time) and is currently blowing all the proceeds from the sale of her home. No job, no retirement funds, or any other savings. Methinks there's going to be a very awkward conversation coming soon...

 

[dj_jyno]

Luckily not financially responsible for my parents at this point in time, because they've managed to put away a decent amount for retirement. When they get worried every once in a while, I jokingly say that they have a Plan B - me.

 

[Ecko_1]

I voted responsible for parents, but more accurate would be helping them out.

My mum still works and my dad, well let's not get into that.

Part black tax, part poor financial planning, part laziness/stupidity but mostly putting all their resources into me to get a good education/qualification.

A good chunk of my salary goes to them every month directly, plus ad hoc when the need arises. Been like this since I started working (properly).

Don't see this going away anytime soon, if anything will increase significantly once my mum stops working. Should be mostly okay though as I'm fully qualified now, so income will climb steadily. Also if I'm able to emigrate, the exchange rate should help me.

Honestly it really annoys me sometimes, especially when I see the stupid things they spend money on (do we really need Macadamian honey from Woolies?).

I always used to laugh during articles when my friends would complain about how they couldn't make it financially n needed their parents to bail them out.

But yeah, that's life I guess. It's definitely taught me to be financially responsible and if I have kids one day, I'll make damn sure I don't rely on them financially.

Same boat. Been contributing at home from articles. I got my own place after articles but continued contributing, increasing the contributions as my salary increased. My dad is in his 70s and retired a second time. He drove Mozzie Cabs for about 10 years after his main retirement. He just didnt have enough as he did not have a high paying job. He also used a piece of his pension to fund my first year at Uni. My mum does some office admin that brings in a little cash. Fortunately their house is paid up so there isnt that cost.

I dont mind being financially responsible for them. Now that I am a parent I recognise the sacrifices they made to provide me with a great upbringing with the little means they had, and I appreciate it.