Why do people generalise gay men as Effeminate?

[Sokum]

This is a very easy question, firstly if you walk past a gay guy and he doesn't look gay...he doesn't look gay he looks like a normal guy.
The ones you do notice is the is the ones that are more feminine and normally the loudest.

 

[rietrot]

So I left out the Bisexual.

You are either trolling us, or very naive.

or fearful of your own sexuality.

Lol. From what I've seen I suspect it follows a normal distribution and even though the vast majority of people identify as straight/heterosexual they can be bi. Same with gay people, they still need to justify it as born that way which is ridiculous. There's no gay gene.

This is what the evidence suggests if you look at people's sexuality throughout history. In more conservative environments there is really less gay people it isn't just more suppressed and in more liberal societies in the past even supposedly straight men kept young boys around for some entertainment(we aren't fully there yet today)

 

[Prawnapple]

In more conservative environments there is really less gay people it isn't just more suppressed

That's BS. How can you make the claim that it "isn't just more suppressed"? The bible explicitly states being gay is wrong.

"straight men kept young boys around for some entertainment" - What?

"we aren't fully there yet today" - What?

 

[|tera|]

This is a very easy question, firstly if you walk past a gay guy and he doesn't look gay...he doesn't look gay he looks like a normal guy.
The ones you do notice is the is the ones that are more feminine and normally the loudest.

I still don't get why people in the media and in life refer to gay men as being effeminate?
There's so much negativity if people step on other toes in the LGBTQ community, but it seems to be acceptable that gay men specifically are 'fairies'.

 

[SlinkyMike]

It's nurture. Most effeminate boys are probably told that they are gay from a young age so they end up choosing to be gay.

People definitely do choose. You can have sex with a piece of rubber or you own hand if you like.

You get 40 year old men with a wife and kids that now all of a sudden don't like women any more. It's definitely a choice with some nurture.

Lol. You do realise how stupid the born that way argument is if you can just accept or reject "yourself" based on some whim or social pressure.

...when did you choose to be straight then?

 

[kolaval]

I've always wondered about this.
A guy is gay and is called a queen or girlfriend or the media portrays him to have female traits.

Yet, most gay men I've met aren't anything like that. Some yes, but not most.

Also, why would the male to female affiliation of gay men not be the same for bisexual men?

I'm asking questions, but making statements too. I don't think that gay men are women in their true nature.

Vra hom?

 

[rietrot]

That's BS. How can you make the claim that it "isn't just more suppressed"? The bible explicitly states being gay is wrong.

"straight men kept young boys around for some entertainment" - What?

"we aren't fully there yet today" - What?

I don't know why you want to bring the Bible into this. You seem a bit emotional, relax and try again. What do you disagree with?

 

[kolaval]

And the above is what I reported to senior management, in writing. If people want to share their racist and sexist views at work, I report them.

Since when are you a SJW?

 

[|tera|]

View attachment 732843

Vra hom?

Thanks for that

 

[kolaval]

...when did you choose to be straight then?

Being straight is like drinking water, you don't choose it.

 

[satanboy]

Since when are you a SJW?

So you agree with their views?
If the company prohibits this, I should just leave it? We are constantly bombarded with emails regarding sexism, racism etc in the workplace. These people are making it a hostile environment for the rest of us. I refuse to use the designated "xxxxx" area already because of these asshats. Someone has to do something. It is not solely a defense of sexism or progressive views. I want a place where everyone feels welcome, hell the company promotes this in the strongest terms.

edit: I am fighting for myself, not other people....

 

[LazyLion]

I grew up with the "misapprehension" that there is always one dominant (more masculine) person in a homosexual relationship and one more submissive (feminine) type. I know now that's not always the case, but I dunno where the misapprehension came from...

 

[SlinkyMike]

Being straight is like drinking water, you don't choose it.

Oh lordy. Buckle in kids...

So do tell then: how is one orientation distinct from another in it's origin? By what biological device does this operate?

Let me guess: gay people are mentally ill, right?

 

[|tera|]

I grew up with the "misapprehension" that there is always one dominant (more masculine) person in a homosexual relationship and one more submissive (feminine) type. I know now that's not always the case, but I dunno where the misapprehension came from...

I was molested at a very young age by a guy.
I got a lot of flack from some people that were older than me for not being the 'norm'.
This flack from some family members and people in my vicinity caused me to doubt myself and my sexuality for years.
Right now in my life I've been celibate for many years and don't have any sexual lifestyle, but I would still place myself in the bisexual camp.
Whether being bisexual was 'caused' by what happened to me is a hit and miss though. I spent more years fighting against being gay than finally making peace with who I am.
This is probably the first time I've mentioned who I am to anyone in this thread. You can see I don't have any social capability

 

[LazyLion]

What you just did was a huge step forward.... and I hope it was extremely therapeutic for you.

 

[|tera|]

What you just did was a huge step forward.... and I hope it was extremely therapeutic for you.

Haha. I won't call it therapeutic It feels weird mentioning it though.

 

[LazyLion]

To me it seems to be a way of coming to terms with yourself and accepting yourself.
I do understand that your life is not defined by this point in time, and you still have much of journey ahead of you, but it's a lot easier when you feel like you are more comfortable with yourself and at peace with the experiences that made you who you are.
Of course that's not to present any kind of acceptance of what happened to you in the past... but the past is the past. There are many things I wish I could change about my past, but then I know I wouldn't be who I am today.

 

[|tera|]

To me it seems to be a way of coming to terms with yourself and accepting yourself.
I do understand that your life is not defined by this point in time, and you still have much of journey ahead of you, but it's a lot easier when you feel like you are more comfortable with yourself and at peace with the experiences that made you who you are.
Of course that's not to present any kind of acceptance of what happened to you in the past... but the past is the past. There are many things I wish I could change about my past, but then I know I wouldn't be who I am today.

I agree with you that it's not good to relive the past and let it go. It was hard for me for many years not to feel guilty or abused.
I know I shouldn't have felt guilty, but growing up I couldn't help it.
I've beaten myself up for many years and even today it's difficult for me to deal with people and their negativity towards me.
It takes me months and years to deal with problems of a social nature. Being Bipolar and medicated through my skull doesn't help with my self image either.

 

[LazyLion]

It's a sad reality of life on this planet that so much abuse is going on all the time in so many different ways. I also endured a form of it for 13 years and recognising it has also helped. Although as you say, it is very hard to look at yourself as the victim because it's embarrasing and depressing to see yourself being taken advantage of. I think I was able to recover quickly because of the better situation I found myself in fairly quickly, but it sounds like your journey has been much longer. I do hope though that you can even now being to see how the journey has made your stronger and have an identity that belongs to you alone. The identity which we project out in front of us should hopefully match who we are inside very closely. I firmly believe that we become more self actualised when our projected persona matches our internal person.

 

[kolaval]

So you agree with their views?
If the company prohibits this, I should just leave it? We are constantly bombarded with emails regarding sexism, racism etc in the workplace. These people are making it a hostile environment for the rest of us. I refuse to use the designated "xxxxx" area already because of these asshats. Someone has to do something. It is not solely a defense of sexism or progressive views. I want a place where everyone feels welcome, hell the company promotes this in the strongest terms.
edit: I am fighting for myself, not other people....

1. Realistically you'll never have a place where everybody feels welcome.
2. Your posts on this forum have it a hostile environment for many as well, so why is it different?
3. I abhor the under-the-surface racism in the workplace as well, but complaining to management, contributes to said hostile environment and puts a target on your back. It's not like they'll magically stop being sexist/racist because of your reporting them. I prefer engaging and questioning the people on their views( which has certainly led to me being vehemently sworn at )