Why do people generalise gay men as Effeminate?

[SauRoNZA]

They were NEVER straight. Either 100% gay or 100% Bi sexual.

If that were true they wouldn’t have gotten it up for a woman would they?

I honestly believe people can and do change their mind.

Not everyone sure, but certainly some.

And it’s not always a simple case for bisexual either. They don’t magically dual wield all at the same time.

Nobody is 100% anything.

 

[blah99]

If that were true they wouldn’t have gotten it up for a woman would they?

I honestly believe people can and do change their mind.

Not everyone sure, but certainly some.

And it’s not always a simple case for bisexual either. They don’t magically dual wield all at the same time.

If they were bi sexual they certainly would get it up. And if you are gay you can still get it up....just keep on thinking about about some hot guy.

 

[SauRoNZA]

If they were bi sexual they certainly would get it up. And if you are gay you can still get it up....just keep on thinking about about some hot guy.

See my edit.

Nobody is 100% anything.

 

[blah99]

See my edit.

Nobody is 100% anything.

Whatever the % , it's certainly is no choice.

 

[SauRoNZA]

Whatever the % , it's certainly is no choice.

I’m very clearly not stating that.

But someone for instance leaning down the middle could choose to direct themselves to a particular side.

Or someone leaning to the left of the middle could through circumstance switch to the right of the middle without ever pursuing the actual middle.

 

[chefdude98]

I’m very clearly not stating that.

But someone for instance leaning down the middle could choose to direct themselves to a particular side.

Or someone leaning to the left of the middle could through circumstance switch to the right of the middle without ever pursuing the actual middle.

Please do me a favour.

Watch a show on Netflix called Pose.

We sometimes forget the hardships that the LGBTI community has gone thru over the decades.

Being ostracised by society, enduring mental/physical abuse & soley being blamed for the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

Nobody chooses that for their lives.

People who like both genders are called Bisexual. They exist.

A lot of what you are describing can be a transitioning phase of acceptance.

Acceptance of bisexuality, being gay, lesbian etc.

Sometimes you can't rationalise or explain a lived reality.

 

[SauRoNZA]

But by and large very little of that applies in South Africa.

There was never much in the way of persecution of gays in SA.

I have a variety of gay friends or acquaintances in every generation from always well past retired to basically just into adulthood and I can’t name a single one that felt as persecuted as illustrated above.

The oldest generation kept it more quiet and actually still do so as not to draw attention to themselves but that is also a case for coming from a very different time and seeing no need to upset the Apple cart for what likely everyone who actually loves and cares for them knows to be the truth anyway.

They never pretended to be straight, but also didn’t run around to the world to tell everyone they are gay, which is actually the way it should be as nobody straight runs about confirming this for everyone.

There is also something to be said for the “secret society” of gay brother and sisterhood which seems to be somewhat lost now that it’s all more out in the open.

 

[|tera|]

If that were true they wouldn’t have gotten it up for a woman would they?

I honestly believe people can and do change their mind.

Not everyone sure, but certainly some.

And it’s not always a simple case for bisexual either. They don’t magically dual wield all at the same time.

Nobody is 100% anything.

The way I'm perceiving bisexuality is the following. There is no middle for someone that's bisexual.
A bisexual person has a neutral view of men and women. Interest in both sexes is equal.
It's not a switch that gets flipped to any direction at any point and time.
Appreciating a sexy guy or sexy woman is the same.
For example. I find both Angelina Jolie and Tom Hardy equally appealing and sexy.
It's not like I'm interested in women one day and men the next day. The interest is based on sexuality and whether you act on it or not.
Living the lifestyle is something different though. By knowing people won't accept your lifestyle is the only reason I see where choice might play a role. I'm in no way vocal or honest about my sexuality to anyone I know, due to fear of being stigmatised and excluded even more than I am.

 

[SauRoNZA]

The way I'm perceiving bisexuality is the following. There is no middle for someone that's bisexual.
A bisexual person has a neutral view of men and women. Interest in both sexes is equal.
It's not a switch that gets flipped to any direction at any point and time.
Appreciating a sexy guy or sexy woman is the same.
For example. I find both Angelina Jolie and Tom Hardy equally appealing and sexy.
It's not like I'm interested in women one day and men the next day. The interest is based on sexuality and whether you act on it or not.
Living the lifestyle is something different though. By knowing people won't accept your lifestyle is the only reason I see where choice might play a role. I'm in no way vocal or honest about my sexuality to anyone I know, due to fear of being stigmatised and excluded even more than I am.

The switch was of course purely figurative to illustrate a point.

I took find both Tom Hardy and Angelina Jolie appealing and sexy, but I however only want to pomp one of them and that is quite the difference right there between all three of the options available.

 

[|tera|]

The switch was of course purely figurative to illustrate a point.

I took find both Tom Hardy and Angelina Jolie appealing and sexy, but I however only want to pomp one of them and that is quite the difference right there between all three of the options available.

As you said, that's the difference.
A bisexual person is able to pomp either and still be fine with whom they are.
My point being, there is no actual choice in the matter. A bisexual person doesn't have a choice to like men one day and women the next. It's an equilibrium to both sexes.

 

[SauRoNZA]

As you said, that's the difference.
A bisexual person is able to pomp either and still be fine with whom they are.
My point being, there is no actual choice in the matter. A bisexual person doesn't have a choice to like men one day and women the next. It's an equilibrium to both sexes.

I certainly believe that to be true for the vast majority of cases.

I still think there can and are outliers.

Ultimately isn’t a person just straight for not having tried the other side of the coin?

How many people can say they actually tried it and then decided not to go down that road? Not a great many I reckon, by the very nature of stigmatism.

And that’s kind of where I’m going with the outliers to the norm is people having through experiences seen the other side and then opted to make the switch. Not people who felt they were on the other side all along and tried to hide it.

 

[|tera|]

I certainly believe that to be true for the vast majority of cases.

I still think there can and are outliers.

Ultimately isn’t a person just straight for not having tried the other side of the coin?

How many people can say they actually tried it and then decided not to go down that road? Not a great many I reckon, by the very nature of stigmatism.

And that’s kind of where I’m going with the outliers to the norm is people having through experiences seen the other side and then opted to make the switch. Not people who felt they were on the other side all along and tried to hide it.

Sexuality is not cut and dry though.
I've had conflicted sexual interests my entire life. Short to stopping to borders I won't cross (transexual or shemales).
I don't classify my life as being a straight guy then through events chose my sexuality.
I also don't believe many people go this route. Events and experiences only go so far to shape a person. The rest is actually attributed to who you are as a person.

 

[SauRoNZA]

Sexuality is not cut and dry though.
I've had conflicted sexual interests my entire life. Short to stopping to borders I won't cross (transexual or shemales).
I don't classify my life as being a straight guy then through events chose my sexuality.
I also don't believe many people go this route. Events and experiences only go so far to shape a person. The rest is actually attributed to who you are as a person.

Yup it’s definitely not binary (or trinary or whatever you call that).

It’s all more of a sliding scaling thing and that’s kind of exactly why I don’t think you are simply born into one hard fast pre-determined lean.

You just through some experience change just how much you lean in any one direction and that will change over time as you get older just like anything else.

So yes if we look at it in a purely binary context of full left and full right then one can come to the conclusion one has to be born that way.

If however you embrace the reality of it not being binary to begin with and is in fact a moving target then one also has to accept you can’t have been born to anything as it was never a static value to begin with.

What’s to say today I only mildly fancy Tom Hardy and tomorrow through some existential experience I decide that now I’m ready to want to pomp him?

Nothing actually, it could happen to just about anyone.

Like all things in life your views and opinions change as you motion through it.