Women and friendzone

[supersunbird]

In my humble opinion you cannot be friends with an ex-girlfriend. There's just too much emotional baggage.

From both sides or her side?

 

[Slootvreter]

In my humble opinion you cannot be friends with an ex-girlfriend. There's just too much emotional baggage.

It takes anything from 2 to 4 years to completely get over a loved one and to be able to be friends again. I hate that part, the getting over someone part.

 

[thestaggy]

I'd not have let her known my true feelings in an argument, but you haven't made a mistake in ending the friendship.

You simply cannot be friends with someone you are romantically or sexually interested in. You'll be unhappy.

 

[AstroTurf]

You may be able to use the whiney immature thing to your advantage if you play it right.
Since you have already acted like a bit of a prick perhaps you should send her an sms saying that you need a bit of time to work it out and will contact her in a while. Then break contact completely for 2 to 3 weeks and let her mull over it.

After that time invite her to lunch and behave as if you missed her etc but also act a little distant and as charming as the devil himself.

See if you can get her to flip that friendzone switch all by herself by sending her emotions through a rollercoaster of mixed signals.

Of course there is a very good chance she said no to you because she has her eye on someone else and you may just be doing that bloke a favour but in that case the original reaction to her rejection of you would be all it takes anyway.

 

[aigle2am]

I was once told by a classmate at varsity that I am too nice to girls. Turns out he was right. Issue is as a person I am very straight forward and honest, just like to keep it real and simple. But has backfired once too often. Being a bad boy is not really who I am, would have to fake it big time, what do you guys advise I should do?

 

[Ancalagon]

Be yourself. Never be anyone other than who you are.

But....


Just remember that you will (in most cases) not get the girl if you do not make the move first. And you need to make that first move fairly early, when things are still new. Never hope that a girl will ask you out - 99% of girls wont. They want you to approach them.

EDIT: Also, many people confuse being nice with having low self confidence. I'm not saying you are not nice, but you should examine why you try so hard to please people.

 

[Tinuva]

I was once told by a classmate at varsity that I am too nice to girls. Turns out he was right. Issue is as a person I am very straight forward and honest, just like to keep it real and simple. But has backfired once too often. Being a bad boy is not really who I am, would have to fake it big time, what do you guys advise I should do?

You need to become better than a bad boy. For that, you will have to learn how women think, and instead of playing games, be a real man. Since you have now already told her you want more than just friendship, you actually need to show her you do. One way, is to do something you two would usually do as friends, like if she is over at your place ect. Now as above, instead of waiting 2-3 weeks, do it as if nothing has changed and skip the waiting part. Talk to her again, and show you have nothing to lose. Let her know, where the door to your house is, and that she is welcome to use it anytime she wants, but you can't promise you will be there if she come back later. And literally,if she does that, move on to the next girl. Sure your heart will ache for a while, but the faster you take that step, the faster you will get over it and feel better.

Maybe I should ask a personal question. What exactly is it about this one woman that you like so much? Is those specifics impossible to find again in another woman?

Now that I have asked those questions, maybe it is time to start creating a simple concept. A real man can stand on his own, and only need a woman to take his mind of his usual purpose. You know, when you need a break from life's daily problems, she must be there to have a good time with you. She must want to be with you!, not the other way around. Literally, think of it like, she must want to follow you around like a puppy. I know it is awful think of women like this, but once you get into that mindset, and is a gentleman at the same time, women will eat out of your hands, and you can make them do anything you want. Again, its a mindset you must adopt.

ps. Woman vs Women works the same as Man vs Men. Woman is singular and Women is plural. Just noticed that mistake now in the opening post. Not picking on you, helping you for future use/

 

[Tinuva]

Also, you don't have to make the move early. I have been friends with girls for months not making a single move, just because I wasn't interested at the time, and then months later down the line when I was interested, they would jump at the opportunity to be with me.

 

[Bona Botse]

Ah yes, the infamous friendzone.

I dated a girl who, before I even started running for the first base, decided she'd rather we be just friends. We dated for exactly one week. Lol. I obviously wanted nothing to do with her anymore.

Then the next year we ended up in the same varsity and actually became friends. Very plutonic and clean and no hanky panky. She even became part of my crew and we all partied together all the time and had jolly good times. She also knew my girlfriends (not to say I had more than one at a time) and they knew her and obviously they weren't very thrilled with our friendship.

Well, after some girlfriend and I broke up, my dear friend decided to jump me in the shower. I guess she was just exposed to too much of my awesomeness and she couldn't resist anymore. We dated for a year and broke up.

We tried the friendship thing again afterwards but when I dated my now wife she insisted that I cease and desist with the friendship, which wasn't hard because it was very much not the same.

The moral here is that if you build it, they will come. She wasn't the first to zone me that changed her mind.

 

[Rickster]

I have just made it clear to a good female friend (one could say friends with benefits) that I cannot offer her anything more, in terms of a relationship, which is what she wanted. This is inevitable when you are involved with someone for friendship and sex. I feel terrible now.

Are you talking about Cheri_N?

 

[-Prismo-]

http://www.laddertheory.com/

That is all...

I Call BS ..

It's this sort of mentality that breeds a continuous supply of jerks.

Although I can't say I've met a girl that actually appreciates a nice guy, we can't draw the conclusion that they don't exist

 

[OGroteKoning]

Tell her you can be friends ... it is fine.

Then every time you meet, go in for the kiss and shoot for third base. Either one of 2 things will happen (1) Happy ending for you (2) She will call off the friendship. Either way you win

 

[Jehosefat]

Tell her you can be friends ... it is fine.

Then every time you meet, go in for the kiss and shoot for third base. Either one of 2 things will happen (1) Happy ending for you (2) She will call off the friendship. Either way you win

Best advice in the thread.

 

[Ninja'd]

Do lesbians do the friendzone thing to other lesbians?

 

[AstroTurf]

Do lesbians do the friendzone thing to other lesbians?

Watch blue is the warmest colour