Would you meet for forgiveness?

[DJ...]

If you're doing it for his benefit then it's a daft idea. And will him apologising for whatever he did allow you to let go of the grudge? Will you actually forgive him? If not, then tell him to get stuffed, imo...

 

[daveza]

As an old fart my take is this -

When you get to my age you will have done things that you regret, or at least regret the way you did them. Unfortunately some of those people are no longer around to apologise to or have just disappeared into the system.

If the guy is genuinely remorseful and has no other agenda but to ask forgiveness what have you got to lose.

I'll leave you with two quotes :

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”

“Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.”

 

[Kitten]

Thanks, Im starting to feel like an old fart too actually

 

[daveza]

I'm unfortunately not available

 

[Kitten]

BWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA quite sharp

 

[ToxicBunny]

Kitten : ultimately the basic question is would you do this so he can feel better?

If the answer to this is yes.. then tell him to ****...

 

[bullfrog]

In my little bits of experience the one forgiving usually gains more than the forgiven.

You forgiving him is probably not going to help him much anyways hey

 

[Kitten]

Kitten : ultimately the basic question is would you do this so he can feel better?

If the answer to this is yes.. then tell him to ****...

I guess im hoping that if I go, he'll make no further contact with me and that chapter of my life can be closed for good.

 

[ToxicBunny]

Thats never a guarantee....

The only way you'll get rid of him permanently is to let the fscker know he's not wanted in any way shape or form...

 

[kingmonty]

If you do meet him, do not meet him for anything like coffee or drinks. Just a straight chat where you can leave at any time is best. Make sure you meet him in a public place.

 

[bullfrog]

I guess im hoping that if I go, he'll make no further contact with me and that chapter of my life can be closed for good.

Like I said in my post, forgiving him might help you properly close that chapter.

Also take someone with if you fear for your safety!

 

[tco21]

I guess im hoping that if I go, he'll make no further contact with me and that chapter of my life can be closed for good.

Doubtful. People can be downright petty at times, he'll probably want to re-establish friendship or some form of communication. Nobody wants just forgiveness, otherwise why would they care; guilty conscience? I don't think that's the case.

 

[Kitten]

Hmmmm, okay ... time to ponder a bit, but i'm leaning slightly towards going. Thanks to you all

 

[ToxicBunny]

If you do end up going, just make sure you have an easy out, and can leave whenever you want/need to.

 

[Kitten]

I will ta

 

[Flanders]

Is the guy's name Earl?

 

[Kitten]

lol!! with the behavior its quite possible.

 

[hyperian]

Keep the board informed. Post his email address or link to his facebook profile so we can spam or atomic-poke him if he is an ass

 

[Jewelbox]

If it is ONLY forgiveness he wants, it's not asking too much!

 

[blunomore]

I'm just trying to figure out if I might let go of it by speaking to him. As it stands I pretty much hate him.

Regardless of whether you go or not, here is my advice:

You say you hate this person. For as long as you harbour any negative emotion against another person, be it hate, anger, fantasies of revenge or just irritation, you are giving THAT PERSON THE POWER OVER YOU.

Why? If you harbour these negative emotions against someone, they have the power to enter you mind, unannounced and at any time, spoil your day, ruin your mood and have long-lasting effects on your life and relationships.

My 2c