You have issues...

StonerStuart said:
This:
maslow-hierarchy-of-needs-diagram.jpg
Click to expand...
Your link isn't loading on my galaxy but from memory you should be able to see what you've completely neglected.
 
Aqua_lung said:
I met my partner online after chatting on skype and over the telephone, this gave me the confidence to meet in person, I expected the worst but bonding online and over the phone made it so much easier to just go for it, I met 3 women this way but just hit it off with my SO, and she is kinda hot too which helps. :D
Click to expand...


I am also trying out the online thing now, not going all to well so far.
But I am sure it will start to improve.

haha and yes meeting someone hot makes everything so worth going through!
 
buyeye said:
Your link isn't loading on my galaxy but from memory you should be able to see what you've completely neglected.
Click to expand...

Missing 1 completely under physiological needs.
Safety and security is good
Social needs I have them not in abundance but I have enough
Achievement - nothing there...
self actualization I am missing nothing.
 
if you give the meds a chance and they don't help the doc should prescribe something else. if you don't tell him you still feel bad he won't know and will assume the meds are helping, so you should definitely mention it. is your mom around and does she know?
 
Some tips for meditating:

*It's boring and uncomfortable and difficult. Approach it with that in mind.

*Start with 5 minutes a day. You can sit still for five minutes a day.

*Add one minute a day every week.

*Do it everyday. No matter how much you don't want to, it's only 5 minutes of your day.

*No matter how ****ty or stupid you feel. It's only 5 minutes of your day.

*Don't expect miracles. Nothing good comes easy.

Oh, and I'm 35 to answer your earlier question.
 
maumau said:
if you give the meds a chance and they don't help the doc should prescribe something else. if you don't tell him you still feel bad he won't know and will assume the meds are helping, so you should definitely mention it. is your mom around and does she know?
Click to expand...

No, the only people that know are on this forum, I will not tell my family that stuff.
 
Nick333 said:
Some tips for meditating:

*It's boring and uncomfortable and difficult. Approach it with that in mind.

*Start with 5 minutes a day. You can sit still for five minutes a day.

*Add one minute a day every week.

*Do it everyday. No matter how much you don't want to, it's only 5 minutes of your day.

*No matter how ****ty or stupid you feel. It's only 5 minutes of your day.

*Don't expect miracles. Nothing good comes easy.

Oh, and I'm 35 to answer your earlier question.
Click to expand...

So just sit still?
That is it? no quieten your thoughts or any of that stuff I have heard of?

Does a 5 minute nap count?




EDIT: I will watch those videos at work tomorrow. Thanks.
 
StonerStuart said:
So just sit still?
That is it? no quieten your thoughts or any of that stuff I have heard of?

Does a 5 minute nap count?




EDIT: I will watch those videos at work tomorrow. Thanks.
Click to expand...

No.

Don't be a smart ass and watch the vids or read the Sam Harris article.

Good luck.
 
I have a technique called "Just listen" to de-stress and makes getting through the next day easier ..... easy and do it before you go to sleep at night.

I have explained the technique to quite a few people and they tell me it works for them as well after a few evenings. You need to do it a few times to see if it can work for you.

1. In the dark with the windows in your room open.
2. Clear your mind of all thoughts and try not to think of anything and close your eyes.
3. Concentrate on what you hear and on what you smell. The cooling night air seems to make it easier to smell the different smells in your neighborhood and to hear all the noises around you. Only concentrate on those noises and smells, nothing else.

In other words ..... just listen and do nothing else.

Try it a few times and see if it helps you in any way. Does not cost you anything and what have you got to lose ?
 
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StonerStuart said:
Missing 1 completely under physiological needs.
Safety and security is good
Social needs I have them not in abundance but I have enough
Achievement - nothing there...
self actualization I am missing nothing.
Click to expand...

If you think that just by looking at that you can judge where you are, then you can add delusional to your list of problems
 
Wow dude you could be describing me except i have moved on from thinking everything sucks, now i am not sure if you mean life or just doing shyte you don't like. I hate doing things i don't want to. Braai's, family gatherings all that is kuk boring. I did it more when i was with someone to please them but many fights happened because i never wanted to go out all the time.

I was at a mate the other day and his chicks friend was there so my mate tunes her she should date me because i am selfish so we would get along well . The thing is i love doing what i love doing and generally that is chilling on my own doing my thing and it bugs the shyte out of my friends and family but you gotta be true to yourself and wanting to do your own thing is not being selfish. Selfish is turning down a mate when he asks to help him move, if you do that then you are moving into the dick category.

Trust me anti depressants will make you worse, they made me worse. There is no way to fix a loner dude. As much as people will tell you there is something wrong and you should not be the way you are, don't believe it for one second. Be yourself and if that happens to be a loner then so be it. I can tell you though drugs and alcohol do help, it's the only way i can go out because i change into a party animal who never wants to go home but it is bad to do it that way, rather just say no. When my fiancee left me i decided i needed to figure out what i want and i have and i am far happier now that i have accepted that i am loner and if that makes me selfish then so be it.

I think my depression was partly because people were telling me i was suppose to be this way or that way but when i realized i am who i am and people can F right off it changed my life . Of course it helps if you are happy being alone, if that bugs you then you are in trouble. I used to get upset thinking about being alone but i enjoyed it, it would just make me upset until i got into positive thinking and realized i love being a loner and i stopped letting people get to me when they said it's not normal to stay in so much.

If you made it this far :D check the link below, that chick is amazing. She just screams positive energy and she helped me big time. It's not just about love check her video's even if you don't think they apply. http://www.youtube.com/user/carolinlovecoach?feature=g-all-bul she is a lovecoach but she is more of a live coach and the positive energy she brings to the table is amazing. Changed me from a negative cynical person to happy, positive person. Still a loner but much happier.
 
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Wow dude, your life right now sounds like a movie plot. If you watch Jim Carrey's Yes Man you'll know what I mean. You may even be inspired.
 
Was in the same situation some years ago. I would prefer to stay home than going out with friends/ acquaintances and family. I still don't trust anyone easily and if trust is broken it would take longer than a lifetime to repair.

I do get dickish very quickly at work due to incompetent colleagues but listening to i-dose during working hours helps alleviate the dickiness (if that's a word).
 
ITCynic said:
I have a technique called "Just listen" to de-stress and makes getting through the next day easier ..... easy and do it before you go to sleep at night.

I have explained the technique to quite a few people and they tell me it works for them as well after a few evenings. You need to do it a few times to see if it can work for you.

1. In the dark with the windows in your room open.
2. Clear your mind of all thoughts and try not to think of anything and close your eyes.
3. Concentrate on what you hear and on what you smell. The cooling night air seems to make it easier to smell the different smells in your neighborhood and to hear all the noises around you. Only concentrate on those noises and smells, nothing else.

In other words ..... just listen and do nothing else.

Try it a few times and see if it helps you in any way. Does not cost you anything and what have you got to lose ?
Click to expand...

That sounds very pleasant but I have enough issues falling asleep already.
My brain does not switch off, I toss and I turn until the early hours of the morning.
I have started to use sedatives to help me sleep and they seem to be working.

I am not sure just listening will help me with my problems!
I will try it out though, as I will try the meditation thing out too.
 
killadoob said:
Wow dude you could be describing me except i have moved on from thinking everything sucks, now i am not sure if you mean life or just doing shyte you don't like. I hate doing things i don't want to. Braai's, family gatherings all that is kuk boring. I did it more when i was with someone to please them but many fights happened because i never wanted to go out all the time.

I was at a mate the other day and his chicks friend was there so my mate tunes her she should date me because i am selfish so we would get along well . The thing is i love doing what i love doing and generally that is chilling on my own doing my thing and it bugs the shyte out of my friends and family but you gotta be true to yourself and wanting to do your own thing is not being selfish. Selfish is turning down a mate when he asks to help him move, if you do that then you are moving into the dick category.

Trust me anti depressants will make you worse, they made me worse. There is no way to fix a loner dude. As much as people will tell you there is something wrong and you should not be the way you are, don't believe it for one second. Be yourself and if that happens to be a loner then so be it. I can tell you though drugs and alcohol do help, it's the only way i can go out because i change into a party animal who never wants to go home but it is bad to do it that way, rather just say no. When my fiancee left me i decided i needed to figure out what i want and i have and i am far happier now that i have accepted that i am loner and if that makes me selfish then so be it.

I think my depression was partly because people were telling me i was suppose to be this way or that way but when i realized i am who i am and people can F right off it changed my life . Of course it helps if you are happy being alone, if that bugs you then you are in trouble. I used to get upset thinking about being alone but i enjoyed it, it would just make me upset until i got into positive thinking and realized i love being a loner and i stopped letting people get to me when they said it's not normal to stay in so much.

If you made it this far :D check the link below, that chick is amazing. She just screams positive energy and she helped me big time. It's not just about love check her video's even if you don't think they apply. http://www.youtube.com/user/carolinlovecoach?feature=g-all-bul she is a lovecoach but she is more of a live coach and the positive energy she brings to the table is amazing. Changed me from a negative cynical person to happy, positive person. Still a loner but much happier.
Click to expand...

A loner... What I have been for as long as I can remember!

Well I hate doing things I do not love or have to do, but at this moment life is pretty slow and boring as well full of all the mundane crap that never makes its way into soap operas. I am not sure how I would behave in a relationship, cannot say I have had a meaningful one in my life.

I will turn down friends when they ask me to come partying with them or to come to this braai, or even if they had free tickets to go to a show of sorts. But when it comes to helping my friends I will never turn them down, they all know that I will not go partying with them but if they run out of petrol on the way home or get into an accident I will be there to help them out. Happily none of them have asked me to help them dispose of a 'body' yet, I am not sure what I would do...

I am never really lonely staying at home, I just find that in ways it challenges your way of thinking. Making you think you are crazy or that you have some issues because the rest of the population is out parting and I am sitting 'quite comfortably' in my house doing what I enjoy. I eventually get the nerve to do something I do not enjoy doing, like going out to a bar and when I am there I do not want to be there, not because I am nervous or because I am anxious simply because I cannot seem to bring myself to want to be there, the people act like idiots, no respect is witnessed amongst the crowds and people get hostile from a light breeze, so ja I would rather stay at home.

I think my depression has its roots in the fact that I have not had meaningful relations to date, sure the odd here n there but never a 'love' relationship, maybe they are fictional, maybe I am expecting to find something which is somewhat unrealistic. I still have to find out who I am which may take a while but it is bound to happen sooner or later.

I will take a look when I get a chance. Positive energy is always welcomed.

Thanks for the post, it was very interesting.
 
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Ol' Mean Bastid said:
If you think that just by looking at that you can judge where you are, then you can add delusional to your list of problems
Click to expand...

StonerStuart said:
Missing 1 completely under physiological needs.
Safety and security is good
Delusional
Social needs I have them not in abundance but I have enough
Achievement - nothing there...
self actualization I am missing nothing.
Click to expand...

Better for you now?
 
Yea sounds like you are in a similar position that was, only difference was i connected with someone for 8 years but i was never happy if i am totally honest and i think i was only with her because i was worried about being alone.

The way i see it if you do find someone you will get bored and you will hate having to do things that bore you but it comes with the territory, one thing is for sure if you stay at home and don't make an effort to go out you won't find anyone, so you need to decide if you want to find someone or continue being alone because you cannot get depressed that you have not found someone if you are not actively trying. Females won't just rock up at your door step :D.
 
So then now are you currently uninvolved?

I have heard the rumour that they will not come a'knocking, I was shell shocked when I found that out. :D
I will make an effort to go out and try have fun, I will just not go to the places I would not like to meet a girl at.

And if that fails I have started this online dating thing, so I will see how that goes.
Will be a miracle if I actually go out on any dates!

Thanks for the input.
 
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