Your Partner's sex history! Does it bother you?

Sly21C

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I've been with my girlfriend for 10 months now, I fell in love with her early in our relationship. At first I wanted to know everything about her, and so I asked about her sex history and about how many guys she has slept with. At first she lied and said she slept only with 2 guys, but a few weeks ago she told me the truth and said 5 guys, and that 2 of the 5 guys were one night stands with strangers. Well this thing really bothers me a lot, it bothers me so much so that I am thinking of breaking up with her. I am just asking myself if what I am feeling is normal or not.

What I would like to know from you guys is do you know your partner's sex history? If so, does your partner's sex history bother you? And why?
 

Killove

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Rule #1 : Never ask. No matter what, you'll always be disappointed.

My gf's ''history' bothers me a lot. But its in the past. I wish I never asked though.
 

killadoob

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well dude one rule of dating

never ask that question, because u hear one night stands and think o she will cheat on me given the chance

my fiancee says she only slept with one guy but i have my doubts as her brothers indicated to me when we first started goin out that it might be more

do i care? not a chance

dont base your relationship on how many lovers your partner has had

just out interest how many chicks have u nailed before your g/f?
 

Waaib

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Is it the lie or the number that bothers you?
The number is irrelevant as long as she's only with 1 person (you) now.
The lie is understandable as it was early in the relationship. She probably told you this because she really liked (and now loves) you and didn't want to loose you.

There are much bigger issues in my opinion than a partners past if you are looking to build a future.
 

ShaunSA

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Knowing some of a partner's history is fine. Avoid trying to learn all the finer details though :) If you do find out more then you either accept it or move on. I personally prefer keeping the past in the past.

Say could this perhaps be the reason for your performance anxiety of late?
 

dominic

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get used to the idea that you in no sense own your partner
 

LancelotSA

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I have no problem... in fact my GF and I (and we have been together for 5 years) even sat one night and made a list. And I can tell you the figures were a lot higher than 5 (but i will not say the figure as I know people on here can be judgemental:)) and that her list was a little longer than mine! I can also tell you that some ended up as question marks for both of us as names were unknown! This is not bragging (and yes yes I know not sensible) but it is life!

With the reaction you are giving you can be sure she is never going to tell you the truth again. The way you are in a relationship dictates how much your girlfriend tells you. If you go off and shout and scream when told something do you honestly think she is going to tell you everything going forward.

I also find it funny how many guys want their girlfriend to be a virgin, or at least very close to one, when they themselves are definitely not. There is such double standards!

Now ignoring the risk of STDs, which I am sure someone is going to bring up as an argument, I personally prefer a girl who has had sex with a few guys, I would say a lot but again this will get me judged :) This means two things. One she knows what she is doing in bed. And two she obviously likes sex a lot! Sounds like a perfect girl to me! :)
 
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Killove

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It is a huge mistake asking about any kind of sexual history.
I met a girl in Durban, and before we were about to sleep together, we were talking about ex's.. and she just happened to mention that he was 'horse-like'.
That put me off quite a bit.

Just create a fake reality, and believe your gf to have escaped from a convent to be with you.
 

.geek

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It is a huge mistake asking about any kind of sexual history.
I met a girl in Durban, and before we were about to sleep together, we were talking about ex's.. and she just happened to mention that he was 'horse-like'.
That put me off quite a bit.

Just create a fake reality, and believe your gf to have escaped from a convent to be with you.
LOL. Nun outfit... :D
 

Waaib

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I once saw a formula to calculate your partners mileage:
You take the length of your boy ... multiply that by number of strokes per session in the sack ... multiply that by the numbers of sessions you've had and you'll her you and her mileage in meters (hopefully meters!).
 

Killove

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I once saw a formula to calculate your partners mileage:
You take the length of your boy ... multiply that by number of strokes per session in the sack ... multiply that by the numbers of sessions you've had and you'll her you and her mileage in meters (hopefully meters!).
wear and tear :sick:

I've had horrible experiences with 'loose' women, and I know its not because they have sex a lot or too much, they were just built like that.
But seriously, horror stories, which I would get banned immediately if I posted here.
 

Sly21C

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Is it the lie or the number that bothers you?
The number is irrelevant as long as she's only with 1 person (you) now.
The lie is understandable as it was early in the relationship. She probably told you this because she really liked (and now loves) you and didn't want to loose you.
It's both! It's the lie because I don't trust her now, I mean if she can have one night stands then what's preventing her from having a one night stand while in a relationship with me? So I don't trust her anymore.

It's also the number of guys she's slept with because she is young, she's only 19 (I'm 23), the minute she told me the number of guys, my mind started thinking "slut", "whore", "promiscuous". I know that I shouldn't judge her or think of her that way but I can't help but think of her that way, and because I am thinking of her that way, I am losing respect for her, in fact I have lost respect for her.

It's also a matter of her respecting herself, she says that she doesn't regret having one night stands, she doesn't regret anything at all. But I'm just wondering if she respects herself or not, because I'm not into women who don't respect themselves.
 

LancelotSA

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get used to the idea that you in no sense own your partner
Wise words! I see way too many relationships where the guy feels the GF is his possession. She is not. She is her own person and had her own life before you met her. I encourage my GF to still do her own thing every so often. And as a result of our honesty she tells me everything that happened when she does.
 

Devill

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I've been with my girlfriend for 10 months now, I fell in love with her early in our relationship. At first I wanted to know everything about her, and so I asked about her sex history and about how many guys she has slept with. At first she lied and said she slept only with 2 guys, but a few weeks ago she told me the truth and said 5 guys, and that 2 of the 5 guys were one night stands with strangers. Well this thing really bothers me a lot, it bothers me so much so that I am thinking of breaking up with her. I am just asking myself if what I am feeling is normal or not.

What I would like to know from you guys is do you know your partner's sex history? If so, does your partner's sex history bother you? And why?
Rule #1 : Never ask. No matter what, you'll always be disappointed.
My gf's ''history' bothers me a lot. But its in the past. I wish I never asked though.
Very true. :(

I only slept with 1 girl before I met my girlfriend, she is the second person I'm sleeping with.
Maybe you are feeling that you are missing out? If you really like her than forget about the past and look towards the future, it happened and nothing can change it.

Knowing some of a partner's history is fine. Avoid trying to learn all the finer details though :) If you do find out more then you either accept it or move on. I personally prefer keeping the past in the past.

Say could this perhaps be the reason for your performance anxiety of late?
Yurp 100% agree :)
 
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