Your weekend laugh

[Maskie]

Transcript of an actual conversation with Telkom .. enjoy ..

Tring tring.... tring tring.... [flute & oboe music starts]
Recording:Telkom appreciates your call blablabla call may be recorded blablabla please hold blablabla
[more music follows]
[3 minutes later]

Telkom Excellent Service Person: Thank you for calling Telkom, my name is XYZ how may I be of excellent service to you today?
[New Customer thinks: my dear, there's no chance of that in this universe. But let's try and get this over with]
New Customer: Hello XYZ, I would like to order a new ADSL line, please.
Telkom Excellent Service Person: Sure, what is your number?
New Customer: Well, my number is 082 xxx xxxx.
Telkom Excellent Service Person: Uhm. That is a cellphone number.
New Customer: Yes. [pauses] Oh you mean the number at the place we're installing the ADSL. [thinking: doh! Telkom 1, New Customer 0]. Eh, I'm not sure. It's been disconnected for ages, since two, three tenants ago already.
Telkom Excellent Service Person: So, you would like to order a new line and an ADSL connection?
New Customer: No. I have a line. I just want an ADSL connection.
Telkom Excellent Service Person: One moment... [ladaaaaahdeedaaaah music comes back on]
[soothing music gets rudely interrupted]
Telkom Excellent Service Person: You can not use those lines. It belonged to another account with another telephone number.
New Customer: Ok... but that person cancelled his contract and left the building?
Telkom Excellent Service Person: It doesn't matter, the number was registered in his account. You will have to order a new line.
New Customer: Do I have to order a new line or a new number?
Telkom Excellent Service Person: A new line.
New Customer: But I have a line.
Telkom Excellent Service Person: We will have to put in a new line because the lines belonged to the previous account owner's number.
New Customer: [starting to grip the phone with the Fist of Death] So let me get this straight: the lines are there, they are, THERE, in the property, with the connection points and everything. But you are going to bill me for a new line installation just because you need to assign a new number to them? That is a little bit like, uhm, stealing, isn't it?
Telkom Excellent Service Person: No, ma'm, we are going to take out those lines and put in new ones.
New Customer: [stunned silence]
New Customer: [realises she is faking the stunned silence 'cause she knew something like this was going to happen]
New Customer: You have to rip out the existing cables because the number is going to change?
Telkom Excellent Service Person: Yes.
New Customer: That is complete rubbish.
Telkom Excellent Service Person: No, ma'm, we have to do that.
New Customer: [tries to remember telecommunication 101] The lines are a bunch of copper cables, the number does not belong to the cables. It gets set at the switch down the road or in the building or something. The cables are irrelevant. The cables are just cables... they have nothing to do with the number.
Telkom Excellent Service Person: No, ma'm, we have to replace the cables and get you a new line.
New Customer: Are you recording this call?
Telkom Excellent Service Person: Yes, ma'm.
New Customer: I want you to take it and play it to some high level technical manager at Telkom. And then I want that person to phone me back and tell me that this is a ball of nonsense.
Telkom Excellent Service Person: I'm sorry, ma'm, this is an incoming call centre only. I can not do that.
New Customer: [@ExplodeHead]

[a little while later, after she cleaned up the mess]

New Customer: Hello, is this iBurst?

 

[moklet]

Yeah I had a good laugh. Must be a temp they found on the street

 

[squirrel]

I'm assuming you wrote that out right? Good laugh

 

[Kasyx]

How can they actually employ people with such a complete lack of not only telecommunications knowledge, but ACTUAL COMMON SENSE?

I don't know what saddens me more; that is this average behaviour from Telkom tech support, or that I share a country with such an idiot.

 

[moklet]

I share a country with such an idiot.

lol

 

[ziglet]

lol! thats my laugh for the weekend!

 

[psheldon]

huh? Singular? Plural more likely, with this affimative action rubbish, It's quite normal for me to get that type of service.
regards
peter

 

[aftermath]

You can't teach common sense, you have to learn it....Thats the problem with jump starting an entire generation

 

[b4kd]

Whats that saying??

Artificial intelligence no match for natural stupidity....

You gotta love these kinda people.... their priceless!!!

 

[dabouncer]

Transcript of an actual conversation with Telkom .. enjoy ..

Hm... Funny thing is when i phone Telkom to report a problem i get results. Maybe its because i know what im asking for and know how to speak properly to the Rep on the other end. Today i had to log a fault in the Fourways area because the exchange went down. The Rep i spoke to didnt know of a fault yet but it was aparent as the entire Fourways Mall was ADSL less and so were several residents. I was later contacted to say that there is indeed a fault. It makes me laugh how other people are not able to communicate properly with the Reps in-order to receive a semi intelligent response.
Makes you think, is it Telkom or is it the customers....?

 

[thedoc!]

Hm... Funny thing is when i phone Telkom to report a problem i get results. Maybe its because i know what im asking for and know how to speak properly to the Rep on the other end. Today i had to log a fault in the Fourways area because the exchange went down. The Rep i spoke to didnt know of a fault yet but it was aparent as the entire Fourways Mall was ADSL less and so were several residents. I was later contacted to say that there is indeed a fault. t makes me laugh how other people are not able to communicate properly with the Reps in-order to receive a semi intelligent response.
Makes you think, is it Telkom or is it the customers....?

You couldnt have written this post better - I too have had really good results, when reporting a fault correctly.

What one needs to realize when applying for a new service and / or logging a fault is that the telephone rep has like all corporte structures been given very little string to work with, he can not make exceptions and cannot bend the rules for you.

If you feel your request is not dealt with correctly, you have the right to ask to speak to a supervisor, or escalate it further.

Without being rude or offensive there is so much one can do for themselves with regard to telkom and get it right, rather than post here and give up!

Its almost like being mugged in a historically dangerous alley and saying oh well ill walk through it anyway and if I get mugged ill post my experience on the forum!

I know there are those who will want to oppose me in more ways than one, but I am only writting about my experiences, and have been served within a short period of time with persistance.

I for one will not be moving to the SNO when they are ready for business as I am not sure they will be able to handle your business (in large numbers).

/doc

 

[dabouncer]

Thank you, another level headed and intelligent human being. Phew, thought i was the last one left...

 

[silkman]

hahahahahaha nice laugh

 

[Gunny]

Dab and Doc I deal with call centres all the time and Telkoms is one of the worst, the person you have to deal with on the other side should at least be helpfull half the time they don't know anything about the query you are making and won't take the effort to get information on it. So you ask very nicely to please speak to a supervisor because you need the information, they get freaked out because they think the sups will crap on them and make up excuses not to put you through, the sups don't mind that because theres less for them to deal with. I requested a line move to a new building (5 ISDN which gives you 10 voice/fax lines and 1 ADSL) 2 weeks after we moved in we were still waiting and we ordered 4 months in advance. After a week of social engineering (thats what it takes) I got hold of a direct number of the person in charge of the region. He Found out what the delay was gave me a time frame called me every second day to let me know the progress and a week later we had lines. Thats what the call centre suppose to do. Why is that so difficult. Once in a while you get a realy jacked up person who actualy knows how to deal with people and can tell you stuff that the other call centre agents just gave a blank reply to. Its appathy they get payed either way, if they help you or not, most agents are there to collect a pay cheque and not to help anyone.

 

[dabouncer]

most agents are there to collect a pay cheque and not to help anyone.

I think this sounds familiar, Africa any1?