Due to the absolute instability of my ADSL line lately, I have found myself contacting Telkom Support pretty much every day for the last week. Through my utter boredom, I decided to time each of the calls to see how long I was on hold.
Call 1: 27 Minutes (Phone on speaker, listening to crappy music whilst browsing bash.org)
Call 2: 46 Minutes (Watched entire episode of House whilst on hold)
Call 3: 22 Minutes (Watched full episode of Scrubs whilst on hold)
Call 4: 1 Hour 12 Minutes (Left phone unattended on desk for 25 minutes whilst cooking dinner, then proceeded to watch another episode of House)
Call 5: No response - on hold for roughly 3 hours (Watched extended edition of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King - eventually gave up when Ring was destroyed)
Call 6: 28 Minutes (Another episode of Scrubs, petted cat for remainder of time)
Average Hold Time: One Hour, Two Minutes
Perhaps this may have been worth it HAD ANYTHING ACTUALLY BEEN DONE ABOUT MY LINE, but alas, it is Telkom we are talking about. As of writing, my line has been unstable for the last month. Yesterday I called to log a fault on the line (they refused to do so before, claiming my line tested fine on their end and thus there was nothing they could do), after the woman tried to DOWNGRADE my line right then and there, I finally forced her to log a fault and squeezed from her a reference number.
I then decided to put Telkom's SLA to the test ("Telkom shall repair all faults reported by the Customer, where such faults are attributable to the Telkom network elements, within twenty four (24) hours of such fault being reported to Telkom") and waited until 24 hours had passed without hearing from them. Of course, no one ever called about it, so I phoned them 28 hours after reporting the fault (and managed to catch up on another episode of House - how awesome is that show?) to query its status.
The fault had been written off.
Yep.
Without resolving the issue, dispatching a techie, or even bothering to CONTACT ME, they close the fault. So imagine the support minion's reaction when I phoned this evening to query the status of a fault that had been closed. I told him I had seen no change in my line since I logged the fault yesterday, and demanded that he re-open it.
Unfortunately, up until now, I have been told to call when my line goes down. I do, of course, but in the HOUR AND TWO MINUTES it takes for them to pick up the damn phone, the line is usually syncing again. However, tonight was a particularly bad night and my line kept dropping, right in front of the support minion's eyes. Thus, after "reopening my port" (ha ha), he informed me that he will send a technician to physically check my line (though when that will be, I know not). This, I hope, will sort out my issues as the techie will be forced to do something when opening the door to my exchange only to find himself knee-deep in rain water (you'd think the four hundred odd rand I spend for my "ADSL line rental" IN ADDITION to the R111 I spend on my "phone line rental" would actually cover the costs of DECENT WATERPROOFING).
I do apologize for this long rant, and I am omitting various details. I think if I were to compose, in full detail, all the issues I am having with Telkom at the moment, it would take me about as long as re-writing The Illiad. In Klingon. In Braille. With a Toothpick.
Thus, I will leave it at that.
Thanks for listening
Call 1: 27 Minutes (Phone on speaker, listening to crappy music whilst browsing bash.org)
Call 2: 46 Minutes (Watched entire episode of House whilst on hold)
Call 3: 22 Minutes (Watched full episode of Scrubs whilst on hold)
Call 4: 1 Hour 12 Minutes (Left phone unattended on desk for 25 minutes whilst cooking dinner, then proceeded to watch another episode of House)
Call 5: No response - on hold for roughly 3 hours (Watched extended edition of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King - eventually gave up when Ring was destroyed)
Call 6: 28 Minutes (Another episode of Scrubs, petted cat for remainder of time)
Average Hold Time: One Hour, Two Minutes
Perhaps this may have been worth it HAD ANYTHING ACTUALLY BEEN DONE ABOUT MY LINE, but alas, it is Telkom we are talking about. As of writing, my line has been unstable for the last month. Yesterday I called to log a fault on the line (they refused to do so before, claiming my line tested fine on their end and thus there was nothing they could do), after the woman tried to DOWNGRADE my line right then and there, I finally forced her to log a fault and squeezed from her a reference number.
I then decided to put Telkom's SLA to the test ("Telkom shall repair all faults reported by the Customer, where such faults are attributable to the Telkom network elements, within twenty four (24) hours of such fault being reported to Telkom") and waited until 24 hours had passed without hearing from them. Of course, no one ever called about it, so I phoned them 28 hours after reporting the fault (and managed to catch up on another episode of House - how awesome is that show?) to query its status.
The fault had been written off.
Yep.
Without resolving the issue, dispatching a techie, or even bothering to CONTACT ME, they close the fault. So imagine the support minion's reaction when I phoned this evening to query the status of a fault that had been closed. I told him I had seen no change in my line since I logged the fault yesterday, and demanded that he re-open it.
Unfortunately, up until now, I have been told to call when my line goes down. I do, of course, but in the HOUR AND TWO MINUTES it takes for them to pick up the damn phone, the line is usually syncing again. However, tonight was a particularly bad night and my line kept dropping, right in front of the support minion's eyes. Thus, after "reopening my port" (ha ha), he informed me that he will send a technician to physically check my line (though when that will be, I know not). This, I hope, will sort out my issues as the techie will be forced to do something when opening the door to my exchange only to find himself knee-deep in rain water (you'd think the four hundred odd rand I spend for my "ADSL line rental" IN ADDITION to the R111 I spend on my "phone line rental" would actually cover the costs of DECENT WATERPROOFING).
I do apologize for this long rant, and I am omitting various details. I think if I were to compose, in full detail, all the issues I am having with Telkom at the moment, it would take me about as long as re-writing The Illiad. In Klingon. In Braille. With a Toothpick.
Thus, I will leave it at that.
Thanks for listening