http://www.futurehorizons.net/
Our crazy products are matched only by our suitably crazy prices - and we're accepting all gullible credit cards today! So whether you're wanting to speak to the dead, time travel, EMP the Russian army, control the weather, turn silver into gold, make your own anti-gravity machine, cure cancer with a pyramid, or just have a jolly good laugh with your friends over the new flying saucer in your driveway, we've got you covered.
Here are a few of our specials for January 2009 (2057 for some of our time-travel clients...har har har)
Yes, it's true! You can now time-travel for the all time low price of just $30.
But wait, there's more! If you order now, we'll throw in the astral projection box for just $590-00
How much would you expect to pay for top quality philosopher's stone? $1000 per kilogram, $500 per kilogram? Don't be ridiculous. Why buy over-priced imitation philosopher's stone, when you can make your very own? With our all in one philosopher's stone home making kit for just $50-00.
And yes, the rumours are true - WE DID MAKE HURRICANE KATRINA with our all new Reich Cloudbuster. And the all new, ridiculously low price of $25-00 will have you tsunamiing your neighbours in next to no time. Are you a farmer struggling with drought? Well why wait for the rains when you can make them yourself:
Suffering from cancer, AIDS or diarrhoea? Well why not plug yourself into our all new and all improved Rife Machine, which cures all ailments in the comfort of your own home. It even cures obesity and ugliness, so you can finally leave the comfort of your own living room and venture into the big bad world, where the aliens are searching for their next anal-probe victim (never fear, we've got you covered there too).
I told you we had you covered. Yes, that's right folks - you'll never have to fear another alien anal probe again, so long as you have our patented UFO detector. And best yet, it fits in your pocket:
So if you're gullible and have too much money lying around, or if you use the name Good Life or marco on the internet, then why not log in to our top secret website where you'll have all of your spiritual and scientific needs become a reality with the click of a mousebutton.
Our crazy products are matched only by our suitably crazy prices - and we're accepting all gullible credit cards today! So whether you're wanting to speak to the dead, time travel, EMP the Russian army, control the weather, turn silver into gold, make your own anti-gravity machine, cure cancer with a pyramid, or just have a jolly good laugh with your friends over the new flying saucer in your driveway, we've got you covered.
Here are a few of our specials for January 2009 (2057 for some of our time-travel clients...har har har)
Yes, it's true! You can now time-travel for the all time low price of just $30.
But wait, there's more! If you order now, we'll throw in the astral projection box for just $590-00
How much would you expect to pay for top quality philosopher's stone? $1000 per kilogram, $500 per kilogram? Don't be ridiculous. Why buy over-priced imitation philosopher's stone, when you can make your very own? With our all in one philosopher's stone home making kit for just $50-00.
And yes, the rumours are true - WE DID MAKE HURRICANE KATRINA with our all new Reich Cloudbuster. And the all new, ridiculously low price of $25-00 will have you tsunamiing your neighbours in next to no time. Are you a farmer struggling with drought? Well why wait for the rains when you can make them yourself:
Suffering from cancer, AIDS or diarrhoea? Well why not plug yourself into our all new and all improved Rife Machine, which cures all ailments in the comfort of your own home. It even cures obesity and ugliness, so you can finally leave the comfort of your own living room and venture into the big bad world, where the aliens are searching for their next anal-probe victim (never fear, we've got you covered there too).
I told you we had you covered. Yes, that's right folks - you'll never have to fear another alien anal probe again, so long as you have our patented UFO detector. And best yet, it fits in your pocket:
So if you're gullible and have too much money lying around, or if you use the name Good Life or marco on the internet, then why not log in to our top secret website where you'll have all of your spiritual and scientific needs become a reality with the click of a mousebutton.
