How To: Get Helpdesk to follow up on your call (100% success rate)

#1 Lie to them about which tower you're on (pick one thats not known to have a problem, yet close enough to you)
#2 Lie to them about what you know about PC's
#3 Pretend like it's taking ages to load a website and that it times out.
#4 When they ask you to ping the website (or iburst.co.za) lie to them about the ping responses. a Good lie would be average 800ms, max 4500ms, minimum 200ms.
#5 Begin the conversation with "I can't connect to the internet"
#6 If they ask you what it is doing, lie to them and tell them in a confused voice, "but I can't connect to the internet?!"

These lies... er.... ways to make Helpdesk follow up (and actually call the ****ing technicians out) will work.... even though they won't fix the tower you're on (or the crappy speed you're getting, because of the wrong tower information)

You'd at least die with the satisfaction of ****ing them around and with their minds.

Psychological war = on...

I've put people into wards with this ****

Hey - maybe I should phone too even though I don't have iBurst !

Now that would fsck with thier heads big time !

bwhahaha,

you: "my pings are timing out"

helpdesk: "Whats your Signal?"

you: "Signal?"

helpdesk: "The lights on your modem, how many are on?"

you: "Modem?"

helpdesk: "Do you have the UTD or the UTC?"

you: "What's that?"

helpdesk: "It's a desktop modem or a pcmcia card?"

you: "...but my pings are timing out?"

helpdesk: "What is your signal like sir? It could be you have bad signal or no connection,which area are you in?"

you: "I'm in my living room"

helpdesk: "Which area is your house located in?"

you: "I'm in Lesotho"

helpdesk: "We don't have a tower in Lesotho sir"

you: "Tower?"

helpdesk: "eish"

you: "Isn't this ADSL support?"

hehe.

I'll phone them from my stanaphone voip account with the microphone next to the speakers - that results in a really fantastic echo for the person on the other side !

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ROFL LMFAO !!!!!! *tears in eyes* BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

END.

It worked btw, a couple of hours after I spoke with Shaun and helpdesk, the Northcliff tower went down a couple of minutes, and back up again, and I could upload without **** timing out!

noone said:

It worked btw, a couple of hours after I spoke with Shaun and helpdesk, the Northcliff tower went down a couple of minutes, and back up again, and I could upload without **** timing out!

Click to expand...

My experience has tought me never to judge a temporary improvement by its transfer rate, just wait - you will be re-disappointed [again, again, again, ...]