It's not easy. Many of the friendship circles are set in school and just carry on. If you're from Jozi then it must feel hard as folks from there are genuinely friendly. (CT people are not).
The first suggestion would be to try get onto some South African groups and meet ups in your area. I've found SA immigrants are much more open when it comes to their friendship circle.
Second suggestion is to join a group / club, or start a new social hobby (not Facebook). Park run, gym, crossfit, hiking etc. I'm not sure how social riding is? Even if its something you might not stick to, its a great way to meet people. Something you can rock up to a couple times a month.
You've got kids, is there nothing social going on from that angle? Parents should all be around your age.
On our side it's been tough too. I wfh and the wife works 3 days a week, and most of her colleagues are juniors, but she does have a few friends at work, we also don't have the school option as my son lives in another country.
I joined a few clubs and met some people that way, it's easier to connect when you see the same people on a regular basis. Still struggling to make close friends, but we're getting there.
I also try go to the saffer meet ups in my area, and have made a few friends through those, even though I generally tend to avoid saffers out in the wild.
Good luck though, it's not easy, but you just have to put yourself out there.
I really dislike going on Facebook; but it feels more and more like it's the only place to find groups and activities?
Our son is just starting school this week - reception. We plan to be very involved with that, all the activities and such we will be in and send him to. Hoping to meet other parents then, as it would be easier to have friends who have kids too.
Riding can be social; but I think it's probably hard to get into a group. I'm tempted to just show up and go riding and see what happens -- the goal is to just enjoy the hobby and if I make friends cool, otherwise fine. I have always loved riding just have not done it much since getting here.
Why is that? I’ve always found the English to be quite personable.
They're easy to chat to and have good conversations with sure. I think as
@Sinbad says, they're more open to meeting at a local establishment than to be invited round for a braai.
Been here 3 years, haven't made any friends, hell I don't even talk to most people lol.
Wife has been going for coffee with some other local moms from the local library baby group but nothing concrete.
I don't really think it's an "English" thing in our case, we're just very reserved/private people in general. Even back in SA we only have a handful of friends - we're both a bit weird lol.
Although I've read many comments from saffas saying how hard it is to make friends here
I think it's hard to make friends in general, outside of school.
To add to the other constructive comments - making new friends is like dating. You meet some awesome people but you also meet some real assholes.
For me at least, I had to really get out of my comfort zone and be pro-active. Invite that person over you barely know, go to that braai where you dont really know anyone. Its a numbers game.
This is the crux of the issue I think, getting out of our comfort zone and start doing more social activities. But maybe with the mindset of just enjoying the social activities and not strictly treating it like a mission to find a friend.
My best friend is someone I met at a VW Club SA, event over a decade ago and to this day, we still talk ever day. I recall the day we met and I was not looking for friends at that point - those are the best types of friendships I believe.
It's like when you were a little kid, playing in the street with your skateboard: some new kid in the neighbourhood came out with his skateboard, you looked at each other, and just randomly hung out for the rest of the day. That happened again the next day, and the next, and without realising it you had become friends. It just happened.
Tend to agree; though if you never go out into the street to play on your skateboard, you'll never meet anyone. I think thats our issue for the most part to be fair.
I get what you are saying but people can experince it in different ways.
I was so caught up in the "honeymoon phase", new job, new country, exploring the EU etc that I reached a stage where I was like "um, I think I need to go out of my comfort zone to try meet new people". I will admit full WFH wasn't helpful either. I just wasn't meeting people organically.
WFH is definitely a factor; I don't go into the office on a regular basis. Just once a month for "team day" - however I have now decided to make more of an effort and go up to London once a week to meet people in person and since starting that two or three weeks ago, I have learnt a lot more about the people I work with on a personal basis that it's been worth doing. I am having lunch and random conversations with people I otherwise would never interact with.
There is a South African dude there too, however after a 30 second chat with him, I quickly decided he is not someone I'd keep chatting with.
