Getting divorced.

lancon

lancon

Senior Member
Joined
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Location
Cape Town
Morning all.
Im currently going thru a divorce.
Me and the ex have 1 daughter together (14), and she is grinding me for money. The ex, not my daughter.

So what I want to know are there any groups for divorced fathers where you can find support and help that I can join?
 
lancon said:
Morning all.
Im currently going thru a divorce.
Me and the ex have 1 daughter together (14), and she is grinding me for money. The ex, not my daughter.

So what I want to know are there any groups for divorced fathers where you can find support and help that I can join?
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Yip, it's called a bar. I am sure there should be a reputable on in your area.

*Oh and we need to see a pic of your ex.
 
lancon said:
She demands just over 50% of my salary, not a lot left to go dopping every night.
Click to expand...
Both parents are responsible for meeting the child's needs. Have her send you a list of items your daughter requires along with their costs. Always take care of your daughter, but until the court determines the amount you must pay there’s no set rule as far as I know. Your responsibility is for the child’s needs, not the mother’s expenses.
 
Does she have a job?
How did you run/split the monthly costs?
What is she claiming for? Herself or for your daughter?
How are you married?
Who is divorcing whom?
Why are you getting divorced?
 
I've seen this before...
SA women, especially those of the Afrikaans speaking variety think they're entitled to everything.
They get divorced, usually because of their shitty behaviour and then try and take the man for everything, including the kitchen sink. They want to lie on the couch at home, smoke and do nothing except tap tap tap on their iPhone and talk schitt about what the ex is doing to them.
 
Brawler said:
Community of property?
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W@P said:
Does she have a job?
How did you run/split the monthly costs?
What is she claiming for? Herself or for your daughter?
How are you married?
Who is divorcing whom?
Why are you getting divorced?
Click to expand...
👆👆👆👆These are the important questions that need answering. Hopefully she was working and earned reasonably close to what you were earning. Also, hopefully you are not married in community of property. Also also, hopefully you weren't directly giving her money which would kind of prove that she was reliant on your financial support. Best you learn from your mistake and rather get yourself a husband next time round.
 
Carl_Johnson said:
👆👆👆👆These are the important questions that need answering. Hopefully she was working and earned reasonably close to what you were earning. Also, hopefully you are not married in community of property. Also also, hopefully you weren't directly giving her money which would kind of prove that she was reliant on your financial support. Best you learn from your mistake and rather get yourself a husband next time round.
Click to expand...
Very important indeed. The answers to these questions can lead to various outcomes.


In my case, it was as follows.

Married out of community of property without accrual.
My wife earned a decent salary, and she only paid for her car installment.
I covered all the living costs, everything. She basicly had her whole salary minus the car installment to use as she pleased.

I never supported her financially while being married. But I literally paid for everything.

She eventually asked if I wanted to get a divorce, and I said yes.
She, in the meantime, got a boyfriend while she still lived in my house. I moved out.

She then took the kids and moved far away with the boyfriend.
The boyfriend thing didn't work out. I made her an offer to move back to our town. She took it, and she came back.

She dragged her feet to sue me for divorce. So I ended up divorcing her.
I went to court without her even knowing. After the court proceedings were done and dusted, I drove to her house in my new M2 divorce gift to myself that she did not know about and tuned her, "Hey, you are now divorced" :ROFL:

We settled on the maintenance and everything long before I went to court.
In the end, I had/have to pay:
  • The offer to move back: I had to buy her a car, 6 months' rent, and 6 months' maintenance for herself.
  • I pay maintenance for the kids
  • Medical Aid
  • Kids' school & after-school fees
  • And I would pay for random kak as we go along for the kids.
She got nothing from me wrt the divorce.

She knew she had no foot to demand/claim anything from me.
 
Now, a couple of years down the road. We get along amazingly well. No issues whatsoever.

Very thankful for that. But it takes some balls and hard work to leave the past behind you, move on, and work on a co-parenting relationship with one another.

Fighting and having kak about useless, petty BS gets you nowhere.
 
W@P said:
Very important indeed. The answers to these questions can lead to various outcomes.


In my case, it was as follows.

Married out of community of property without accrual.
My wife earned a decent salary, and she only paid for her car installment.
I covered all the living costs, everything. She basicly had her whole salary minus the car installment to use as she pleased.

I never supported her financially while being married. But I literally paid for everything.

She eventually asked if I wanted to get a divorce, and I said yes.
She, in the meantime, got a boyfriend while she still lived in my house. I moved out.

She then took the kids and moved far away with the boyfriend.
The boyfriend thing didn't work out. I made her an offer to move back to our town. She took it, and she came back.

She dragged her feet to sue me for divorce. So I ended up divorcing her.
I went to court without her even knowing. After the court proceedings were done and dusted, I drove to her house in my new M2 divorce gift to myself that she did not know about and tuned her, "Hey, you are now divorced" :ROFL:

We settled on the maintenance and everything long before I went to court.
In the end, I had/have to pay:
  • The offer to move back: I had to buy her a car, 6 months' rent, and 6 months' maintenance for herself.
  • I pay maintenance for the kids
  • Medical Aid
  • Kids' school & after-school fees
  • And I would pay for random kak as we go along for the kids.
She got nothing from me wrt the divorce.

She knew she had no foot to demand/claim anything from me.
Click to expand...
Eish man. No wonder your lawn got neglected like that. It's tough when a women dont smaak your tollie anymore. And clearly in her case the grass definitely wasn't greener on the other side ne. Just glad you guys seem to get along for the kiddos.
 
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