No gaming, just to control my Home Assistant ( Home automation ) and camera browsing from outside.
Also security and want my Tiktok and Netflix to show I am USA etc.
You are looking for two different systems.
1. Reaching Home Assistant and your cameras from outside
A commercial VPN (Proton, Nord, Mullvad, Windscribe, etc.) won't do this. Those services route your traffic
out through their servers so you appear to be somewhere else. They give you no route back
in to your home network.
What you want is a personal VPN / overlay network between your devices and your house.
@ctriaan called it in post #16: Tailscale. It's free for personal use, there's an official Home Assistant add-on, and you install the client on your phone and laptop. Your HA instance and cameras then appear on a private network only your devices can see. Crucially it works through CGNAT, so it doesn't matter what Afrihost hands you, and you don't open a single port on your router.
Please don't port-forward your cameras. NVRs and IP cameras are some of the most reliably exploited devices on the internet, and Shodan is full of them. WireGuard on the router is the DIY alternative if you'd rather self-host, but it needs a public IP or a relay. Home Assistant Cloud / Nabu Casa is the pay-and-forget option, though it only gets you HA, not the cameras.
2. Making Netflix and TikTok think you're in the USA
This is the commercial VPN job, and Proton or Mullvad are both cool choices. Netflix US works most of the time with Proton; expect the odd server to be blacklisted and to have to switch.
TikTok is a different animal though. Your "For You" feed region is tied to the account - where it was registered and the SIM/locale on the device - not just your current IP. Flipping a VPN to New York will not change what the algorithm feeds an account created in SA. A fresh account created while on a US IP, with the device region set to US and no SA SIM, gets you closer, but it's fragile and not guaranteed. Don't buy a VPN purely based on TikTok, you'll be disappointed.
What hasn't been mentioned:
On a phone you only get one VPN slot. Tailscale and Proton can't both be active on Android or iOS at the same time, so you'd be toggling between "I can see my cameras" and "I'm in America." Two options:
1) Run the commercial VPN on a device or router rather than your phone, and keep Tailscale on the phone; or
2) Use Tailscale's Mullvad exit node add-on: $5/month for 5 devices on top of the free Personal plan. One client, one app: your home network stays reachable, and you flip an exit node when you want to look American. Cleaner than paying for two products that fight each other.
I'd go with 2
All that said, I use a smart proxy for watching foreign TV. Smart DNS Proxy has a free trial and costs peanuts.