Am I going the right way forward?? Maybe some pointers here and there...:)

[koeks525]

Hi guys,

It should be noted that there may be threads on MyBroadband that are similar to my issue, but I would like some real sweet advice on this situation. I do feel it has its own twists, not covered in other threads.

It is my second year at university. My first year has been pretty much a flop, my second year really has "started taking a lift" and I am excited about it. Here is the thing...I am gay. Last year, I was afraid to explore many places, joining up some societies on campus. I decided to try get rid of some of the "shyness" and join the LGBTI society at my university...I went to the first meeting today...the turnout was not as great as I expected it to be, but boy was I so impressed.

I got to the meeting, people were so happy, so friendly, there were a few people that rang in my head "I want to be friends with you". I felt so happy in the meeting - hell I introduced myself at the society...I wish I said more, I did feel a bit shy and scared but hopefully this feeling will die out soon The meeting covered plans in the year and they so exciting and I seriously feel I will make the right friends at this place.

My only issue now is, how do I get rid of this feeling of having to hide myself, sort of keeping to myself? Also, there are events in the society where I will be pretty much exposed to the public...part of me wants to do this - I want to be as badass as CL (of 2NE1), but part of me is scared of the negativity that may arise. Also, I do not know how my family will react when I tell them...but I do really want to tell them, I feel like I will tell them.

What advice can you guys give me, for moving forward?? I really want to make some really awesome friends...I saw some potential friends there, so I want to be able to talk and make friends ...I just felt so happy being in the meeting...no one judged me, if anything, they laughed (with me) when I said "I like Korean Pop and Japanese Pop and anime....anything that is Asian is mine!". I have also decided to add a contribution to the society - I will join the sub committee for marketing, and if plans go through, I will build the society's website and manage it - I figured I would want to have my name behind something I strongly support and be hated (at the very worst) than to be liked by people, yet not being able to put myself out there

Another issue I have is the current friends I have....to be honest, I HATE them all, they all say homophobic-like comments and use the bible to justify their statement...it makes me sick, really. I do not like ALL the friends I have - and half of my high school is at this university (I am afraid to express my true self). I would like to get rid off EVERYONE who is around me, I do not see them as being there for me.

I hate my high school...it was a dark, cold place for me...people were just mean to me, stabbed me in the back repeatedly, and I was such a fool still helping such people out when they needed help I am not going to let this define me, I want to move on with my life.

Today probably has been 1 of the best days ever, I never knew I would see a glimpse of light in such a meeting.

So guys, what more can you add? Am I going the right way??

I thought I should put an update on my life here on MyBroadband - call it weird, but I feel really great writing all this out here.

Thanks....

 

[HDS]

Why do you care so much what people think about you? You are gay, so what, if your friends don't like it they can take a hike.

Care less, you will be happier.

Biggest pointer - if you are afraid of doing something, just say f**k it and do it.

 

[koeks525]

Why do you care so much what people think about you? You are gay, so what, if your friends don't like it they can take a hike.

Care less, you will be happier.

Biggest pointer - if you are afraid of doing something, just say f**k it and do it.

I seriously do not know why I am caring so much....I just think about it. The thought of doing all these things and what may unfold really excites me, so I am definitely going to be going "all-out" with this one. I really want to "kill" that caring side in my head...its getting in the way

I am honestly excited as to what will happen...will things go great, not great....what will I do....its so exciting!!

 

[ant_man]

Take each day as it comes.

It's a new journey for you and as such take the road that best suits you and not others.

You have no one to answer to except yourself.

 

[Kornhub]

Sounds like you are going forward and happier. Also the sooner you let people know that you are gay the better you will feel. Not that I am gay but sounds like you are scared to show the world who you really are. Small steps yes Good luck bru

 

[Avenue]

Why do you care so much what people think about you? You are gay, so what, if your friends don't like it they can take a hike.

Care less, you will be happier.

Biggest pointer - if you are afraid of doing something, just say f**k it and do it.

unfortunately this advice is unless to anyone who is suffering with deep seated insecurity/emotional baggage. It's like saying to a skinny guy just lift bigger weights. If it was so easy to "just do it", everyone would.
Best thing you can do though is find a safe environment to grow and discover who you are, and try to cut access to negative influences until you build up your strength enough to stand on your own.

 

[grok]

1) drop your unsupportive sucky friends
2) make lots of shiny new ones
3) profit!

(and maybe toughen up a bit, the world & people at large are generally crap, you need to dig around a little to find the really cool ones).

 

[jacodebeer]

Well done to you, I'm not gay but my brother is and I fully support him. Those "friends" that you hate can be replaced with shiny new ones ^. Regarding your family it was the hardest thing my brother did or so he says, there are still family members that doesn't like and accept it but that's life no one will be ever happy, but as long as you are then everything will be fine. You live for yourself and no one else, it's your choice to choose happiness. IMO go speak to your family and get it of your heart, you'll feel awesome. My brother was never himself till he came out.
Good luck man

 

[koeks525]

Well done to you, I'm not gay but my brother is and I fully support him. Those "friends" that you hate can be replaced with shiny new ones ^. Regarding your family it was the hardest thing my brother did or so he says, there are still family members that doesn't like and accept it but that's life no one will be ever happy, but as long as you are then everything will be fine. You live for yourself and no one else, it's your choice to choose happiness. IMO go speak to your family and get it of your heart, you'll feel awesome. My brother was never himself till he came out.
Good luck man

I do not know what to expect from my family - they have been really supportive, they have given me great advice (I started a thread on this, earlier this year). I am not sure how they will react when they hear of this. I think once I have established myself a fully functional support system and friends I will move onto letting them know - my goal is to be "free" by the end of this year.

Sounds like you are going forward and happier. Also the sooner you let people know that you are gay the better you will feel. Not that I am gay but sounds like you are scared to show the world who you really are. Small steps yes Good luck bru

I do feel like I am moving forward with my life, for once in my life. I am really excited for what will follow afterwards. I think it is just that thing of "hide myself" I have been under, all these years. I don't know how to fully show the world what I am, but I will try not to leave anything out. Same here - last year I really didn't like who I was and what I was doing...I was just this miserable guy, just dragging with life, and limiting myself because I feared what society (well what the half of my high school people, at my university) would think, and do.

 

[NeonNinja]

They what? Stabbed you from the back many times?

 

[grok]

I do not know what to expect from my family - they have been really supportive, they have given me great advice (I started a thread on this, earlier this year). I am not sure how they will react when they hear of this. I think once I have established myself a fully functional support system and friends I will move onto letting them know - my goal is to be "free" by the end of this year.



I do feel like I am moving forward with my life, for once in my life. I am really excited for what will follow afterwards. I think it is just that thing of "hide myself" I have been under, all these years. I don't know how to fully show the world what I am, but I will try not to leave anything out. Same here - last year I really didn't like who I was and what I was doing...I was just this miserable guy, just dragging with life, and limiting myself because I feared what society (well what the half of my high school people, at my university) would think, and do.

Just remember that parents/family sometimes need an adjustment period, similar to what you're going through now. That is if they, especially mothers, don't know already.

Good luck.

 

[koeks525]

They what? Stabbed you from the back many times?

Lol...they stabbed me in the back repeatedly....as in double crossing me everytime

Just remember that parents/family sometimes need an adjustment period, similar to what you're going through now. That is if they, especially mothers, don't know already.

Good luck.

I hope they will be reasonable about this once I am out...I do feel they will take it in hard for a few weeks...and I feel they will accept me...they have been really supportive to me so far.