anorgasmia

50CentShort said:
33
Married
Typically, no.
Yes, but swears blind she is "comfortable" in her body. I don't believe her.
No she's not, she's conservative.
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So you cheated on her? If she is conservative, I don't see her letting you sleep with another woman. Think you need to look inwards as well. If you cannot stay faithful, if your marriage is not an open one, or your wife has no interest in swinging, you need to deal with it before you hurt her.

Women that tend to not exercise usually are not happy with their bodies, and may be self conscious, even though they say they are not. If she is uncomfortable, she will not climax. Turn down the lights, use candles, encourage her to use lingerie (think full body stockings), tell her you are attracted to her, etc.

If she is quite conservative, using other means to try stimulate her could be difficult. Approach her gently, and slowly. Maybe ask her if she has an interest in toys. And take it from there. There are two toys that I can think of that are very effective: rabbit vibrator or the Hitachi Magic Wand. If those don't work, I would be very surprised.

Also, some women just are unlucky and are not orgasmic, or just take very long to orgasm. The average time for a woman to orgasm is around 20 minutes. She may just need much longer. Also, women differ in their nether regions. So what may work for one woman, may not for the other. Clitoral size does have an impact on a woman's orgasm (intensity and how long it takes to get there).

Seems you are however taking it overly personal. And she seems to almost rub it in your face (which I wouldn't accept - and would tell her so). Stop letting the issue get to you, and ask her to see someone if nothing works.
 
Emjay said:
So you cheated on her? If she is conservative, I don't see her letting you sleep with another woman. Think you need to look inwards as well. If you cannot stay faithful, if your marriage is not an open one, or your wife has no interest in swinging, you need to deal with it before you hurt her.

Women that tend to not exercise usually are not happy with their bodies, and may be self conscious, even though they say they are not. If she is uncomfortable, she will not climax. Turn down the lights, use candles, encourage her to use lingerie (think full body stockings), tell her you are attracted to her, etc.

If she is quite conservative, using other means to try stimulate her could be difficult. Approach her gently, and slowly. Maybe ask her if she has an interest in toys. And take it from there. There are two toys that I can think of that are very effective: rabbit vibrator or the Hitachi Magic Wand. If those don't work, I would be very surprised.

Also, some women just are unlucky and are not orgasmic, or just take very long to orgasm. The average time for a woman to orgasm is around 20 minutes. She may just need much longer. Also, women differ in their nether regions. So what may work for one woman, may not for the other. Clitoral size does have an impact on a woman's orgasm (intensity and how long it takes to get there).

Seems you are however taking it overly personal. And she seems to almost rub it in your face (which I wouldn't accept - and would tell her so). Stop letting the issue get to you, and ask her to see someone if nothing works.
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appreciate your candid post. Good day to you
 
Emjay said:
So you cheated on her? If she is conservative, I don't see her letting you sleep with another woman. Think you need to look inwards as well. If you cannot stay faithful, if your marriage is not an open one, or your wife has no interest in swinging, you need to deal with it before you hurt her.
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Here come the moral brigade.
 
Slootvreter said:
Here come the moral brigade.
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You know nothing of me, or my morals. Cheating on a loved one is wrong, no matter which way it is sliced. There are other ways to sort out sexual issues in the relationship. If either party cannot find common ground, end the relationship and move on.
 
50CentShort said:
leave it please, really don't want this thread to about that...
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You want us to try help you get over your self esteem issues about pleasing your wife, but you don't want to talk about your cheating? lol.

Think you have bigger problems on your hands.
 
50CentShort said:
leave it please, really don't want this thread to about that...
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LOL. I didn't start it, and I'm not participating in it.

Emjay said:
You know nothing of me, or my morals. Cheating on a loved one is wrong, no matter which way it is
sliced. There are other ways to sort out sexual issues in the relationship. If either party cannot find common ground, end the relationship and move on.
Click to expand...

Whatever. You felt that you just had to put that out there. It's none of your business, and it's not the topic of this discussion.

I've been in a relationship with a woman who hardly ever reached orgasm, and when she did, it was through self-stimulation, and not then even always, it just takes too long.

In my case it was a mental issue with her. Self-doubt, low self-worth, and depression. That is a bad combination, and the medication she was on did not make it any better. It wasn't a matter of just telling her she is attractive or desirable.. It doesn't work like that. They need to feel that for themselves.

Yeah, I never found a solution for that, and in the end, we broke up for unrelated reasons.
 
Slootvreter said:
LOL. I didn't start it, and I'm not participating in it.

Whatever. You felt that you just had to put that out there. It's none of your business, and it's not the topic of this discussion.

I've been in a relationship with a woman who hardly ever reached orgasm, and when she did, it was through self-stimulation, and not then even always, it just takes too long.

In my case it was a mental issue with her. Self-doubt, low self-worth, and depression. That is a bad combination, and the medication she was on did not make it any better. It wasn't a matter of just telling her she is attractive or desirable.. It doesn't work like that. They need to feel that for themselves.
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Surprised by your candid post...

A woman's sex drive and her ability to climax is linked to how attractive she feels, which speaks directly to her comfort levels. A woman who is not comfortable with her partner, and feels self conscious will not orgasm, or it will make it extremely difficult. This will not always be the case, but it does play a big role with many women.

The cheating absolutely does talk to this situation. He probably feels he is entitled to cheat, or maybe has cause because of (I assume) the sexual dysfunction in the relationship. She may be picking up on this, which will in turn drive her desire and comfort levels.

If sex is a big thing in your relationship, then I suggest finding someone who is your sexual equal, or someone open to other means to satisfy each other's needs. There is nothing wrong with that. But trying to justify cheating does no one any good.
 
Emjay said:
Surprised by your candid post...

A woman's sex drive and her ability to climax is linked to how attractive she feels, which speaks directly to her comfort levels. A woman who is not comfortable with her partner, and feels self conscious will not orgasm, or it will make it extremely difficult. This will not always be the case, but it does play a big role with many women.

The cheating absolutely does talk to this situation. He probably feels he is entitled to cheat, or maybe has cause because of (I assume) the sexual dysfunction in the relationship. She may be picking up on this, which will in turn drive her desire and comfort levels.

If sex is a big thing in your relationship, then I suggest finding someone who is your sexual equal, or someone open to other means to satisfy each other's needs. There is nothing wrong with that. But trying to justify cheating does no one any good.
Click to expand...

Your first paragraph pretty much sums up with what I agree with, and had first had experience with.

Nobody is defending or justifying cheating, the OP did not say he felt entitled to cheat. Although misplaced, he stated his reasons for that. If she is is picking up on it or knows about it, and not doing anything about it, she's got other problems.
 
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