ScottulusMaximus
Honorary Master
More of a rant than anything so my head doesn't explode... So me and the GF (long term, should be married but haven't been bothered to organise a wedding) are looking to buy a house as our current landlord said our "lease won't be renewed" and we said "**** it, let's do it".
So the viewing process, now I must admit every estate agent except 1 got back to us quickly and friendely™ so no worries there. But then it comes to the properties we were viewing... Now I don't know if any of you design complexes but if you do you're an idiot, in what person's mind is a main bedroom large enough so putting a queen bed in means you can't open the cupboard doors all the way!? And for the love of all that's holy people, when doing your kitchen realize that dishwashers no longer necessarily have ears or a name and could do with an under counter spot next to the washing machine...
Now I know the above gripes can be solved by looking at bigger places, but I'm cheap, deal with it
And when we start spawning we'll move up and I want to keep this as a rental property, little and simple is good in this regard.
After looking at quite a few places we found one that ticked all the boxes (fibre baby!), got the OTP same day and was accepted the next.
Now I am in the 19th circle of hell, bond applications. As soon as a bank or originator finds out you run and own a business it's ****ing open season, I swear they would give me a prostate exam if the credit act allowed it.
ABSA
We both bank with them, don't laugh. Did an online bank application with them Sunday, approved in principle today, top marks!
5 or 6 pages on the website.
5 documents required
klaar
SA Home Loans
Got back to me same day I asked for a call back and supplied a list of requirements.
6 Page application form, one page of which must be completed by hand.
28 documents required (16 for a "normal" non self-employed couple)
No idea how much more of a faff this'll be, need to send all this crap through first.
ooba
Submit a contact form, says they'll reply in 24 hrs. I call after 2 days and get asked what I want... A cheeseburger please! I explain that shockingly I want to apply for a home loan, ah they say.
Usual spiel about them applying to all the banks.
Yes I know, I've already applied to ABSA tho.
Ah we can't help you then, you need to wait until ABSA get's back to you. Err why, just apply to the other banks?
No because your bank will offer you the best rates etc. Hold on, your website says the exact opposite of that, just apply to the other banks for me, basically do your ****ing job!
Let me get a specialist to call you.
Specialist calls, oh you're "self-employed", christ here we go... I need to get the self employed people to phone you. Presumably they're locked in the basement for being naughty cos I'm still waiting...
they can piss right off
Bond Originator recommended by Realtor
Calls me the day after offer accepted, says will email and does so with documents required and boy oh boy.
13 page application form, all must be filled by hand and initialed each page.
Not kidding, I just counted, 33 documents, not pages, DOCUMENTS. "Only" 16 for normal people...
And the best bit, ID copies must be in colour, ok not such a biggie but oh no they're not done yet:
"Please take note that it should be original bank statements, required over the counter with a clear stamp on every page. Please no internet or posted statement without stamps." 6 months for my business and personal and 3 for the Mrs... Yeah no, you're getting email statements, it's not 1920 anymore and I don't think there are enough trees left in SA for this.
Still have to submit to these people, dunno what other fresh hell awaits, presumably they'll want it in fax or telegram.
Now is it just me or is a bond originator supposed to make this easier for you? Right? Because from where I'm sitting they sure as **** don't.
/end rant
So the viewing process, now I must admit every estate agent except 1 got back to us quickly and friendely™ so no worries there. But then it comes to the properties we were viewing... Now I don't know if any of you design complexes but if you do you're an idiot, in what person's mind is a main bedroom large enough so putting a queen bed in means you can't open the cupboard doors all the way!? And for the love of all that's holy people, when doing your kitchen realize that dishwashers no longer necessarily have ears or a name and could do with an under counter spot next to the washing machine...
Now I know the above gripes can be solved by looking at bigger places, but I'm cheap, deal with it
And when we start spawning we'll move up and I want to keep this as a rental property, little and simple is good in this regard.After looking at quite a few places we found one that ticked all the boxes (fibre baby!), got the OTP same day and was accepted the next.
Now I am in the 19th circle of hell, bond applications. As soon as a bank or originator finds out you run and own a business it's ****ing open season, I swear they would give me a prostate exam if the credit act allowed it.
ABSA
We both bank with them, don't laugh. Did an online bank application with them Sunday, approved in principle today, top marks!
5 or 6 pages on the website.
5 documents required
klaar
SA Home Loans
Got back to me same day I asked for a call back and supplied a list of requirements.
6 Page application form, one page of which must be completed by hand.
28 documents required (16 for a "normal" non self-employed couple)
No idea how much more of a faff this'll be, need to send all this crap through first.
ooba
Submit a contact form, says they'll reply in 24 hrs. I call after 2 days and get asked what I want... A cheeseburger please! I explain that shockingly I want to apply for a home loan, ah they say.
Usual spiel about them applying to all the banks.
Yes I know, I've already applied to ABSA tho.
Ah we can't help you then, you need to wait until ABSA get's back to you. Err why, just apply to the other banks?
No because your bank will offer you the best rates etc. Hold on, your website says the exact opposite of that, just apply to the other banks for me, basically do your ****ing job!
Let me get a specialist to call you.
Specialist calls, oh you're "self-employed", christ here we go... I need to get the self employed people to phone you. Presumably they're locked in the basement for being naughty cos I'm still waiting...
they can piss right off
Bond Originator recommended by Realtor
Calls me the day after offer accepted, says will email and does so with documents required and boy oh boy.
13 page application form, all must be filled by hand and initialed each page.
Not kidding, I just counted, 33 documents, not pages, DOCUMENTS. "Only" 16 for normal people...
And the best bit, ID copies must be in colour, ok not such a biggie but oh no they're not done yet:
"Please take note that it should be original bank statements, required over the counter with a clear stamp on every page. Please no internet or posted statement without stamps." 6 months for my business and personal and 3 for the Mrs... Yeah no, you're getting email statements, it's not 1920 anymore and I don't think there are enough trees left in SA for this.
Still have to submit to these people, dunno what other fresh hell awaits, presumably they'll want it in fax or telegram.
Now is it just me or is a bond originator supposed to make this easier for you? Right? Because from where I'm sitting they sure as **** don't.
/end rant
