Dealing with suicide

[skoob]

I have no clue why I'm starting a thread. Think I'm feeling a little emo today.

I have no idea how to start grieving. There must be something wrong with me. I can't cry. I tell myself, that I had no control over the decision or thinking or depression....or whatever. Family and friends say that the best way to deal with it is to speak to someone like a therapist. I think Im strong enough to handle it on my own...or stupid to think that Im strong enough. I know that it will take time and Im prepared to give myself that.

Trying to do the best I can with everyday living. My only focus is work, and while I'm working, I forget that there's life outside of work. That is bad, yes...I know.

Has anyone dealt with suicide recently?
If so, how do you / did you cope?

 

[The_Unbeliever]

Get yourself to a therapist, the sooner, the better.

 

[satanboy]

Two of my friends have committed suicide.

The 1st was my best friend when I was 14-15. Didn't know how to handle it.

The last was a year ago....a good friend. I mourned in my own way...do what you find comfortable with. Remember the person and smile at the good times, cry for the bad. Find something you will remind yourself of him/her.

 

[syntax]

yes, just over a year ago.

I didnt really talk to anyone much about it. We had our funeral (which for us is a wake), and we celebrated his life.
I went through patches of being seriously pissed off with him for doing what he did. And its ok to be angry. I also had some seriously depressing moments where i just wanted to know how he could do something like that.

Depending on how you are, it really cannot hurt to just chat to someone about it. Especially since it doesnt sound like you have properly grieved. I cracked when i heard the news, and was not ok for a good few weeks. I think it will hit you eventually, and you will have to just face it head on and try deal with it.

Sorry to hear about it man, stay strong

 

[satanboy]

Oh yes, I spoke to many of my colleagues and friends about it (brought tears to my eyes but it was a good release).

 

[RazedInBlack]

I don't think theres a sure-fire way of dealing with suicide, depends largely on the person and the circumstances.
Its good to talk to a therapist, whether you strong enough to handle a suicide or not isn't the point really, this is a totally neutral person, unbiased, added professionalism and you'll be surprised what they have to tell you. You'll have a few light-bulb moments.

 

[KevRSA]

Sorry for your loss Skoob.

Best thing to do is just try and find a mechanism that lets you express yourself. Work is ok for now but it is stopping you from dealing with your emotions. It might be a good idea to take a holiday or spend some time with your thoughts.

It's advisable to see a therapist, some people think it's overrated to speak to someone, yet it does really wonders!

 

[Zewp]

At least go for an evaluation with a therapist.

The mind can be an extremely dark place and it's best to get help early if it's needed. Trust me, you don't want to simply block what you're feeling and let it simmer just beneath the surface. You need to work through it.

I had a flatmate about three years back who never properly worked through his father's suicide. Trust me, it wasn't pretty.

 

[skoob]

Thanks for posting your thoughts, advice and experience.

 

[Mephisto_Helix]

I have to agree with the therapist suggestion, I lost someone at age 17 and it messed up my life for a long while because there was no outlet for it. I lost a friend a few years later and I had a support structure, a better understanding (from the previous loss) and a good therapist which made the world of difference. I know the pain and I am truly sorry you have to go through it

 

[InternetSwag]

You never stop loving someone, you merely learn to live without them.

 

[undesign]

You never stop loving someone, you merely learn to live without them.

That brought a tear to my eye. So true.

 

[Arthur]

It is important that you access the love you have for that person.
Love is the engine that enables everything else.
Love seeks and desires and wills the good of the other, and grieves when the other is in pain.
Call to mind all the things you loved in that person. Put yourself in their place, and try to be that person from the inside.
Love offers prayer and sacrifice for the beloved, entrusting them into the arms of Almighty God, the True and Perfect Lover.
Love is the source and goal of all life.
So, open your mind and heart to love. Say it. Reflect on it. Meditate on it. Be quiet, for it is found in the silence that transcends all words. Then, you will find the Centre that enables that love to wash through your being. It will enable you to speak about it, to mourn, to grieve.
Then provide comfort and compassion and support for others who loved your friend.

Once you love, all else becomes possible.

 

[InSanity]

I don't know I guess everyone is different I have lost a lot of people in my life I also battle to mourn properly(could be circumstances) but I know me the last thing I would ever want to do is talk about ... That's just me though