Diet motivations

I restrict carbs and sugar and eat protein to my heart's content with a lot of veg. Diets do not work. Changing your eating habits is what is required...
 
mooks said:
Not at all. My problem is that I'm a verbal 'bull in a china shop' and I KNOW that his weight is a sensitive issue for him. I don't want to hurt him and I also know that sensitivity is not my strongest characteristic. So, I'm look for advice on how to approach the issue with kindness. Saying : "you're fat and your belly gets in the way when we get amorous" is probably going to have quite a negative effect on both his self worth AND our sex life.

I just don't want to hurt someone I love, but I still want to tell him how I feel.
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So he's fat, emo and lives in another country? And you're still tip-toeing around a subject that clearly means something to you. I see an iceberg on this love boat's horizon.

Just tell him already. The more you pu55y-foot around the subject the less likelihood you have of being taken seriously, and the more he'll drown his sorrows in Magnum Ice-creams and KFC buckets...
 
DJ... said:
So he's fat, emo and lives in another country? And you're still tip-toeing around a subject that clearly means something to you. I see an iceberg on this love boat's horizon.

Just tell him already. The more you pu55y-foot around the subject the less likelihood you have of being taken seriously, and the more he'll drown his sorrows in Magnum Ice-creams and KFC buckets...
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Lol :/ Well, when you put it like that.....

Ok fine, so consensus is obviously to be the bitch he knows and loves? I suppose he should know what he's signed up for by this stage.
 
I once told my girlfriend that my view on her getting fat is this:
that her being fat doesnt bother me. What bothers me is the fact she no longer wants to look good for me
 
Tell him real men can lift 2x their body weight minimum... then ask him if he's a real man.
 
mooks said:
I need a diplomatic way to encourage my SO to stick to his diet and get back into gym.

Realistically he is never going to be sleek and trim (and I kinda prefer it that way) but he is also getting to an age where if he doesnt get his weight in check while he is young, I worry about his health (he LOVES his salty foods and bacon-anythings so cholesterol and the likes are a concern).

He told me this morning that his weight has currently peaked at an all time high so there needs to be some serious changes happening. Because I live in another country, I cant monitor his diet and food etc so how else can I motivate him to stick to his (our?) goals? He becomes quite defensive if I point out his over eating and I understand that it stems from embarrassment but gently trying to cajole him away from the beer and Mcdonalds isnt getting me anywhere.

Hulps :(
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Its will make his penis look bigger. By losing weight males lose fat in a area called the suprapubic fat pad making the penis look bigger. :p that should be good enough reason
 
If he's up for illicit drugs there's good ol' charlie and the psuedos. Fatty or druggy... Your/his choice :)
 
Agree with all previous sentiments.

Be blunt about it. If he doesn't have the motivation now to do something about it - he will always have an excuse
 
As DJ said, diets don't work. A lifestyle change is what's required. My earlier suggestion was to engage in a form of therapy known as Cognitive Based Therapy where you think your way to the core of the problem, articulate it in the most basic and rational form and then take it from there.

Try therapy (between yourselves, or get a therapist) or wait for him to realize it by himself that he needs to change his lifestyle (which will likely never happen).

He isnt wishy washy at all. He isnt happy with his weight, he knows it affects our sex life and his self image
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I'm sorry, but this pretty much fits the definition of wishy washy. Of course he knows it affects his sex life and self image. You really have to be very ignorant and or tarded to think otherwise. He's basically wishing he was thinner, and his motivation is two vague concepts? Plenty of fat people have great self esteem and great sex lives. But I'm sure they still realize their high body fat is sapping their energy for sex and that they'd look even better without the flab. Where are they going to get their motivation from?

And wanting to look good on your wedding day is such a vague goal anyway - everyone wishes for this. I think both of you need to sit down and properly talk about how his weight is affecting your lives. Without using terms such as "impairing our ability to enjoy sex" which in itself is a captain obvious statement that doesn't help anyone.

Talk about how he's probably going to develop diabetes before 40. And how he will probably die before 50. Tell him he'll be a fat father drinking his beer and unable to run after and play with his kids. Tell him his **** stinks so bad and how no one can enter the toilet after he's used it because his intestines are so caked in muck and toxins that it's a wonder he still manages to pass food. :P Ok, just exaggerating, but you get the picture.

The point is to talk about what really scares you and him about being overweight. Get to the root of the problem. Therein you'll find your motivation for losing it. And don't strive for perfection. Just living 80% in accordance with your goals & targets for health & eating is good enough. But yeah, diets don't work. If they do it's only for the short term. Change your habits & lifestyle.
 
If it's a self-control issue, then no amount of threats will work. Rationality will have to come from his side on this one and the commitment is his to make. My suggestion would be to encourage him to find an active sport to play. Getting active (i.e. getting one's arse off the couch) is the first step...
 
Ejeckt said:
As DJ said, diets don't work. A lifestyle change is what's required. My earlier suggestion was to engage in a form of therapy known as Cognitive Based Therapy where you think your way to the core of the problem, articulate it in the most basic and rational form and then take it from there.

Try therapy (between yourselves, or get a therapist) or wait for him to realize it by himself that he needs to change his lifestyle (which will likely never happen).



I'm sorry, but this pretty much fits the definition of wishy washy. Of course he knows it affects his sex life and self image. You really have to be very ignorant and or tarded to think otherwise. He's basically wishing he was thinner, and his motivation is two vague concepts? Plenty of fat people have great self esteem and great sex lives. But I'm sure they still realize their high body fat is sapping their energy for sex and that they'd look even better without the flab. Where are they going to get their motivation from?

And wanting to look good on your wedding day is such a vague goal anyway - everyone wishes for this. I think both of you need to sit down and properly talk about how his weight is affecting your lives. Without using terms such as "impairing our ability to enjoy sex" which in itself is a captain obvious statement that doesn't help anyone.

Talk about how he's probably going to develop diabetes before 40. And how he will probably die before 50. Tell him he'll be a fat father drinking his beer and unable to run after and play with his kids. Tell him his **** stinks so bad and how no one can enter the toilet after he's used it because his intestines are so caked in muck and toxins that it's a wonder he still manages to pass food. :P Ok, just exaggerating, but you get the picture.

The point is to talk about what really scares you and him about being overweight. Get to the root of the problem. Therein you'll find your motivation for losing it. And don't strive for perfection. Just living 80% in accordance with your goals & targets for health & eating is good enough. But yeah, diets don't work. If they do it's only for the short term. Change your habits & lifestyle.
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This is what I needed to hear. Thanks. Will have a chat with him tonight.
 
mooks said:
This is what I needed to hear. Thanks. Will have a chat with him tonight.
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Thing is, you don't want to come across as a hypocrite. Best you post your pics here for us to see and then we can give you better, and more specific advice...
 
Oh I forgot to add, if your talk is successful and you do realize why he eats so badly, and why it's so hard for him to stop, remember to talk about how you're going to fix things in as positive a way as possible. Lifestyle change can be very exciting, and shouldn't be scary. Get amped, hyped and as excited as possible for your new way of doing things. Set a fitness goal like taking part in a marathon. If you have a negative approach of "lets just get through a 12 month diet" you'll fail before you start.

Then find a good programme. Plenty of information on the interwebs for that. Some people will recommend the Revised Atkins diet. Personally I'd go for the Paleo Lifestyle because it's trendy and fun :) Both are good. Good luck.
 
Ejeckt said:
Oh I forgot to add, if your talk is successful and you do realize why he eats so badly, and why it's so hard for him to stop, remember to talk about how you're going to fix things in as positive a way as possible. Lifestyle change can be very exciting, and shouldn't be scary. Get amped, hyped and as excited as possible for your new way of doing things. Set a fitness goal like taking part in a marathon. If you have a negative approach of "lets just get through a 12 month diet" you'll fail before you start.

Then find a good programme. Plenty of information on the interwebs for that. Some people will recommend the Revised Atkins diet. Personally I'd go for the Paleo Lifestyle because it's trendy and fun :) Both are good. Good luck.
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Well, I like to be prepared before hand, so I have found some social sports clubs in his area and am looking for a realistic eating plan. Obviously though, he needs to make some effort himself. If I do all the ground work for him, he will just expect it all to come quite easily.

Well hell, at the very least y'all have got me amped to get him going on this change :p
 
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