Do you think there is an expectation...

[outta_luck]

In certain, or even most relationships, for one person to become dominant, make most of the decisions and organise most things? The other party encourages spending time together, and that they do this again soon, but is unwilling to organise anything? Perhaps the first party asserted themselves so early in the relationship it's become convenient and almost natural, not that the assertive person is complaining mind you

Relationship dynamics is an interesting thing, and yes this girl has always been in the shadows and a bit shy, though I do hear when she knows what she wants she goes for it. But what if she has it? She insists she needs to have control, yet relinquishes all control to me (in the most innocent sense, of course). She is apprehensive about the relationship in general (for numerous reasons, most of which I don't understand), but is definitely not timid about insisting that we spend as much time together as possible. Perhaps as the relationship develops she'll grow bolder in her "demands"?

So pretty much if I don't organise time for us together we wouldn't be together, yet not once have I ever been made to feel that my time and presence is nothing less than what she wants.

It's been a while and I'm just a little confuzzled and curious.

 

[zoopy3]

either this, or lock and chain method. which would you prefer?

 

[outta_luck]

either this, or lock and chain method. which would you prefer?

I think I'll stick with the carrot for now thanks

 

[TheHiveMind]

In certain, or even most relationships, for one person to become dominant, make most of the decisions and organise most things?

Yes. Always.

 

[outta_luck]

Yes. Always.

Well that's a relief. I haven't played the game (or at least got this far) in a while and it was nagging me; but, if she's happy and I'm happy with the situation why stress, eh?

 

[niftyshorts]

So pretty much if I don't organise time for us together we wouldn't be together

I dunno mate. It's nice to be wanted. If the fact that you don't ask means that you'd never see her, I'd wonder if she was serious. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to her about how you feel?

 

[outta_luck]

I dunno mate. It's nice to be wanted. If the fact that you don't ask means that you'd never see her, I'd wonder if she was serious. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to her about how you feel?

Oh I get messages like "I miss you" and "Come see me soon" but never any definite plans. The expectation is I make a plan, which she is always up for. When I'm there I feel very wanted *blush*.

However, there are other things on the go right now and my opinion is "if it ain't broke don't fix it". So I'll leave it for now, besides it's only been a few weeks perhaps the expectation is still for men to be men and take charge?

 

[zoopy3]

maybe she's just needs a companion and not anything more?

 

[killadoob]

I dunno mate. It's nice to be wanted. If the fact that you don't ask means that you'd never see her, I'd wonder if she was serious. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to her about how you feel?

It seems she does want to be him but is a bit shy and possibly not confident enough YET to make plans. She is female though, as the relationship grows she will do her normal take over and decide everything routine .

 

[HavocXphere]

Easy. You make the plans, but require her to make decisions on the details. Suggest going shopping but don't decide on a particular venue & insist that she picks one. Then keep increasing the size of decisions on her part. Lame example, but I'm sure you get the drift.

 

[outta_luck]

maybe she's just needs a companion and not anything more?

Surprisingly there is a grain of truth in what you say. Due to historical circumstances we cannot afford a very nasty breakup and at her assistance we are taking things slowly (whereas I'm like the Juggernaut, I take a while to build momentum but when I do I don't stop!) until it becomes more obvious that this is at least going to go long term. So there is some reluctance as a result, but it's not be she just needs a companion.

 

[outta_luck]

It seems she does want to be him but is a bit shy and possibly not confident enough YET to make plans. She is female though, as the relationship grows she will do her normal take over and decide everything routine .

Well I hope so! Unfortunately time will be the only judge as to whether this statement is correct. *crosses fingers*

 

[outta_luck]

Easy. You make the plans, but require her to make decisions on the details. Suggest going shopping but don't decide on a particular venue & insist that she picks one. Then keep increasing the size of decisions on her part. Lame example, but I'm sure you get the drift.

I really do try this on occasion, it's not always that easy (very indecisive, but isn't that woman for you? ) but I understand what you're saying. Give her more confidence in making the decisions and perhaps she'll start taking more responsibility for future POAs...

 

[Dean]

Easy. You make the plans, but require her to make decisions on the details. Suggest going shopping but don't decide on a particular venue & insist that she picks one. Then keep increasing the size of decisions on her part. Lame example, but I'm sure you get the drift.

Ja dude seriously - shopping??? Leave that for her friendgirls

 

[outta_luck]

Ja dude seriously - shopping??? Leave that for her friendgirls

Ja, well by self-admission it was a lame example, but the gist of the is there...