Footie quotes

[Alan]

Courtesy of Football365

"We need to score more goals from midfield. I told the players Frank Lampard has got 17 this season but they weren't impressed. They just said 'perhaps that's why he's on 150-odd grand a week'" - Harry Redknapp on Pompey's contract negotiations.

* "I'm busy but if I wasn't I would be there digging the pitch up" - Jose Mourinho pays tribute to the Stamford Bridge mudpatch.

* "I've had seven or eight lots. It's disgusting. The smell of someone else's s**t is not something you want first thing in the morning" - MOTD2 presenter Adrian Chiles doesn't take kindly to receiving soiled toilet paper in the post.

"It is obviously not our dream to have to go to Blackburn. It's hardly the most fantastic place touristically" - Arsene Wenger looks forward to a replay.

"Cristiano is the only one to have his personal mirror in the dressing room. He spends hours doing his hair and putting on his gel" - Patrice Evra endears himself to the nation.

"I missed out on signing a Chinese striker in January. You know the guy - Win One Soon" - Paul Jewell does Jim Davidson et al proud.

"Arsenal have great boys. But I wouldn't be sad if a club gives me three, four, five years and tells me, 'You don't need to win. You can lose Premiership after Premiership, and you have three, four, five seasons to build'. I wouldn't be sad" - Jose Mourinho gets stuck in

"Arsene Wenger asked recently who would be top if we all had equal budgets for five years. That would be me. Not Arsene Wenger, Jose Mourinho or even Sir Alex Ferguson. He's saying he'd be better than everyone else if we were all on equal budgets but I'd be better than him. I've proved that" - Sam Allardyce kicks modesty out of football.

"Nobody" - An equally-modest Jose after being asked 'which managers could have done a better at Chelsea than you this season?'

"You do get stick if you do not win enough games. It is important I shield the players. One thing for sure I have got to go in and pick up 36 players to get ready for Chelsea" - Stuart Pearce, who could have put a team of 36 players out against Chelski and still not won.

"If this carries on, players will soon be getting four months inside for celebrating a goal" - Martin O'Neill doesn't think players should be booked for celebrating goals, then

My fav.....

"I asked him..." - Geoff Shreeves starts talking to Sir Fergie...


* "F*****g (inaudible) bastard" - Sir Alex Ferguson, Knight of the Realm, responds with the courtesy you would expect from a man of his rank.


* "Don't talk to me like that" - Shreeves.


* "F**k off to you" - Fergie.


* "Don't talk to me like that. Don't even think about it" - Shreeves.


* "Don't you think about it, you ****. F**k off. Right?" - Fergie.


* "Listen, are you going to do the interview in a professional manner or not? Do you want to do it or not?" - Shreeves.


* "You f*****g be professional. You be professional. You're the one" - Fergie. Or possibly an angry 13-year-old girl. We're losing track.


* "I'm entitled to ask...Cristiano gave the right answer" - Shreeves.


* "F*****g hell with your answers" - Fergie.


* "Don't talk to me like that. Go away. If you want to behave civilly, fine. Don't talk to me like that" - Shreeves.


* "F**k off" - Fergie.


* "It was a disgrace. I was disgusted" - Sir Alex Ferguson offers his opinion of the questions posed to Ronaldo by Shreeves after sobering up. Sorry, calming down.


* "I don't know why they carry on like that. Maybe some people don't like me. Maybe it is because I am too good for them" - Cristiano Ronaldo can't imagine why anyone calls him a diver.