Funny Quotes about programming languages

Skywalker42

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A Few quotes from here

"There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies."
Tony (C.A.R.) Hoare

"It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that [sic] have had prior exposure to BASIC; as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration."
E. W. Dijkstra in "The Threats to Computing Science" .

"A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by people carrying razors."
Waldi Ravens. Programmer.


"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. In C++ it's harder, but when you do, you blow off your whole leg."
Bjarne Stroustrup. Creator of C++.

"C++ is an horrible language. Even if the choice of C were to do *nothing* but keep the C++ programmers out, that in itself would be a huge reason to use C."
Linus Torvalds, inventor of Linux.

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense."
E.W. Dijkstra.

"If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution."
Robert Sewell. Programmer.

"There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses.”
Bjarne Stroustrup.
 
My favs

Computer Science is the only discipline in which we view adding a new wing to a building as being maintenance.
Jim Horning

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.
Edward V. Berard

Treat your programmers as monkeys and soon you will have monkeys for programmers.
 
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Maybe not programming per se:

We all know Linux is great... it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.
- Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amterdam Linux Symposium
 
I can't seem to find my favourite quote now, and I remembered it as being said by John Carmack (could be totally wrong however as Google did not reveal it)

Basically saying that he can't believe that you can follow simple logical steps to come up with a solution and then realize you cannot use it because someone patented it first.

If you find said quote, please paste here :)
 
I can't seem to find my favourite quote now, and I remembered it as being said by John Carmack (could be totally wrong however as Google did not reveal it)

Basically saying that he can't believe that you can follow simple logical steps to come up with a solution and then realize you cannot use it because someone patented it first.

If you find said quote, please paste here :)

The idea that I can be presented with a problem, set out to logically solve it with the tools at hand, and wind up with a program that could not be legally used because someone else followed the same logical steps some years ago and filed for a patent on it is horrifying.
On software patents, Quoted in "John Carmack: Knee Deep in the Voodoo"
 
I keep a VB handbook in my car so I can park in handicap zones
 
"PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals."
Jon Ribbens. Programmer.

Brilliant!
 
The most effective debugging tool is still careful thought, coupled with judiciously placed print statements.

— Brian W. Kernighan, in the paper Unix for Beginners (1979)
 
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
 
Wife: "Honey, please buy some bread, if they have eggs, buy 6"
Programmer husband returned from the shop with 6 loaves of bread :D
 
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