Guide: How to submit accurate deadlines to managers

[foozball3000]

Step 1. Have the usual project meeting. End it by saying that you'll run through the proposed work and get accurate deadlines.
Step 2. Hop onto Gumtree (or wherever you prefer) and find a Fortune Teller / Psychic, and get a deadline.
Step 3. Declare to the managers that you've consulted a professional for accurate deadlines. And submit the deadlines.
Step 4. Upon and quarrels why the project won't be done on the proposed time, redirect the managers directly to your "consultant" and continue with work.

I hope this guide helps.

 

[dequadin]

Six to eight weeks

 

[roguemat]

Both of these seem totally legit. Thanks!

 

[foozball3000]

Six to eight weeks

Bwhahahahaha! I've sent it to all our developers.

 

[frikkie6000]

Six to eight weeks

Looooool

 

[foozball3000]

What's a good response when told that the deadline was yesterday.

e.i.
> "This seems possible, when do you want it?"
>> "Yesterday"
> "Can I quote you on a new Flux Capacitor?"

 

[stevenv]

Six to eight weeks

ROFLMAO

Even with zero developers writing 5001000 lines!!!