Help with finding time to do stuff

>Reaper<

>Reaper<

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Hello fellow BB'ers

So lately it has been bothering me that I cannot find the time to do certain things like getting the car washed, cleaning the pool, getting a haircut... to name a few. This is besides finding time for myself... Which I just gave up on at this point.

I'm married and I have two kids, one is 2 years and 8 months and the other is 7 months old. The SO's health is also not a 100% so I'm helping more where I can. Between work and coming home and being completely consumed with family duties in the evening and and on weekends.

Last thing to mention is we don't have any family to help out so theres that and finances arent the best so we really can't afford to hire extra help at the moment.

I know there a probably tons of people in similar situations and wondering how others dealing with this or if they have any strategies?

Thanks in advance.
 
For washing the car or cleaning the pool rope the 2 year old into it, of course make sure for the pool job you're watching and they are by the shallow end.
Haircuts and such you'd probably have to go a barber and get a quick snip while the SO watches them for the period?
It does get a bit easier when kids get older for personal time
 
Unfortunately you are just in that bracket where this is your life and it’s the same for everyone until that second kid gets to 2 or so and you have them in a routine and can block out some time for yourself.

But like Lupus said above just involve them in things, they’ll enjoy it and with a bit of training they’ll actually help and you’ll enjoy spending the time with them.

Also, make sure your work life balance is in place, if that is ****ed then everything else will suffer. If your time management is ****ed at work then it will be more ****ed at home.

Wild guess here but I’m betting you are one of those that doesn’t take a proper lunch hour and doesn’t knock off on a routine?

What would you have spent me time on before the kids?
 
SauRoNZA said:
Unfortunately you are just in that bracket where this is your life and it’s the same for everyone until that second kid gets to 2 or so and you have them in a routine and can block out some time for yourself.

But like Lupus said above just involve them in things, they’ll enjoy it and with a bit of training they’ll actually help and you’ll enjoy spending the time with them.

Also, make sure your work life balance is in place, if that is ****ed then everything else will suffer. If your time management is ****ed at work then it will be more ****ed at home.

Wild guess here but I’m betting you are one of those that doesn’t take a proper lunch hour and doesn’t knock off on a routine?

What would you have spent me time on before the kids?
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This.

And, from my experience... Time does not work like that. You dont walk around finding time, you have to actively make time for these. Yes, it os tough. But doable.
 
>Reaper< said:
Hello fellow BB'ers

So lately it has been bothering me that I cannot find the time to do certain things like getting the car washed, cleaning the pool, getting a haircut... to name a few. This is besides finding time for myself... Which I just gave up on at this point.

I'm married and I have two kids, one is 2 years and 8 months and the other is 7 months old. The SO's health is also not a 100% so I'm helping more where I can. Between work and coming home and being completely consumed with family duties in the evening and and on weekends.

Last thing to mention is we don't have any family to help out so theres that and finances arent the best so we really can't afford to hire extra help at the moment.

I know there a probably tons of people in similar situations and wondering how others dealing with this or if they have any strategies?

Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...

Easy!

Stick the kids in the car on top of a blanket with toys, then wash the car.
Stick the kids on top of the pool cover with toys, then wash it.
Stick the kids in the bath on top of a blanket with toys, then you use some hair clippers on yourself.

(Note: 2/3 of these might work)
 
I used to buy a large el-cheapo 5L tub of ice cream and a large bag of chips/cooldrink and invite the neighbourhood kids to take care of the younger kids at home.

I used that time to get haircut/clean pool/bath the hounds/home renovation/etc.

Trick is learning how to balance things.
 
Let me add to your list of things to do. :)
Just like doing budget, list all the things you have to do in a week by day.
Now that you know what consumes your time cut the fat and slot in time for things you need to do like getting a haircut.
Waking up early is one of the best things to gain hours in a day. Doing stuff in those hours will also free up time later in the day. Although looking at your kids age I’m guessing you have no choice on getting up early. :)
 
There’s no magic strategy. You stay up and do things until the things you have to do are done.
 
Ask around on a local community group for a nanny/helper and get her once or twice a month or however much is feasible, even just for an afternoon or similar. It’s often just enough to give you the extra time/breathing space to get your stuff done and dusted.
 
Thanks guys, all great suggestions here

@SauRoNZA you are right, I used to have a routine and that went out the window around covid times and I haven't gotten back into one.

@animal531 not sure how the me/SO would feel about a blanket in the bath while I go bald with clippers. lol

but seriously, thanks guys. I need to be more deliberate with my time. Sort of got into a slump over the last few months with this.
 
>Reaper< said:
Thanks guys, all great suggestions here

@SauRoNZA you are right, I used to have a routine and that went out the window around covid times and I haven't gotten back into one.

@animal531 not sure how the me/SO would feel about a blanket in the bath while I go bald with clippers. lol

but seriously, thanks guys. I need to be more deliberate with my time. Sort of got into a slump over the last few months with this.
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Also don’t be too hard on yourself.

Kids under 2 are all encompassing and it’s perfectly okay to let things slide until you get over that initial caretaking.

Involving the older one where you can will also give the wife a bit of a break.

Something to consider and maybe “get over” is that your old life is gone. It’s simply ridiculous to expect that after kids things will be the same as before…yet many people simply don’t get this and the sooner you do the better.
 
>Reaper< said:
Hello fellow BB'ers

So lately it has been bothering me that I cannot find the time to do certain things like getting the car washed, cleaning the pool, getting a haircut... to name a few. This is besides finding time for myself... Which I just gave up on at this point.

I'm married and I have two kids, one is 2 years and 8 months and the other is 7 months old. The SO's health is also not a 100% so I'm helping more where I can. Between work and coming home and being completely consumed with family duties in the evening and and on weekends.

Last thing to mention is we don't have any family to help out so theres that and finances arent the best so we really can't afford to hire extra help at the moment.

I know there a probably tons of people in similar situations and wondering how others dealing with this or if they have any strategies?

Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...
Yes I don't have any kids.
 
This is my scenario and strategy, albeit, our circumstances are different, but perhaps you can pick up a tip or two.

3 kids - 9, 6 and 3 years old. Both me and the wife work full time. The 2 older ones are at school, 3 year old is in creche.

We have a nanny, and I will rather give up half our other luxuries than get rid of her, this is how we claw back I would say at least 50% of our time i.e. washing clothes, ironing, cleaning house, preparing food, babysitting etc. I don't have time for all of that, and prefer to spend all my spare time with my family and on myself.

I wake up at 04:00 to run, by 05:00 I am back, by 06:00 the kids are up and getting ready for school - this is my "me" time in the morning, I get to exercise, shower and have coffee before the madness begins. Trick with this is you have to be in bed early-ish. Then I always do the school drop off giving my wife 30min to do some exercise and then shoot off to work.

Me and my wife tag-team a lot in order to give ourselves more "me" time e.g. I run on the Saturdays, she looks after the kids. Later in the day she goes out with her girlfriends, I keep the kids busy - otherwise you never find alone time.

As a couple, we fortunately have family around, so leverage off that for weekends alone away etc. And then the nanny steps in during the week for date-nights etc.

In terms of involving the kids, absolutely, even if they are babies, pop-them in their high-rise chair, jolly-jumper, whatever, and place them close to where you are doing your chores, they get entertained and you get the job done.

In closing, as they get older, it gets easier - I would say around 3 years then you are better off, and then around 5-6 years old you slowly get out of the woods because then they are fairly self-sufficient.

PS: Work-life balance is critical, don't sell your personal time to your company, you will never get it back, and if you die, they will forget about you in 1 week.
 
I feel your pain, we have a 4 year old and a 5 month old, still figuring it all out but far from where I would like us to be...
 
Sorry dude. We hear you and have felt the pain.

Hang in there, it will get better, but it will take time.

Some really good suggestions from the other chaps.
 
Your situation is 100% normal . mine is similar . My demanding line of work doesnt make things easier
 
Pricey but mobile car wash
Pricey but ask your barber if they don’t mind doing house calls

Else you’ll just need to include the older tot in the process. I’m in the same boat, works better when the older kid becomes your side kick in most things and include them.

Yes, they’ll make a mess but it is what it is.
 
>Reaper< said:
Hello fellow BB'ers

So lately it has been bothering me that I cannot find the time to do certain things like getting the car washed, cleaning the pool, getting a haircut... to name a few. This is besides finding time for myself... Which I just gave up on at this point.

I'm married and I have two kids, one is 2 years and 8 months and the other is 7 months old. The SO's health is also not a 100% so I'm helping more where I can. Between work and coming home and being completely consumed with family duties in the evening and and on weekends.

Last thing to mention is we don't have any family to help out so theres that and finances arent the best so we really can't afford to hire extra help at the moment.

I know there a probably tons of people in similar situations and wondering how others dealing with this or if they have any strategies?

Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...

Father of three kids, the youngest just started high school. Great advice being shared on this thread.

I can relate and remember those years - I've still never regretted giving my time to my children as my father was seldom around.

What worked for me back them was to say sod it, I'm having a romantic night out with my wife. I would grab one of the Daddy's Deals for a local guesthouse and find a baby sitter. Call in all those offers of help.

My wife would always find time to arrive at the guest house early, spoil herself to a hot bath, only checking in every 10 minutes if the kids were OK. I would race home after work, say cheers to the little ones and race off to my wife. We would often skip eating out, unless the deal included dinner, we would just pack in some snacks.

Before 7pm we would both pass out. Never tried to make more babies.

Breakfast and then home to see the kids.



It felt like we did this every weekend but it was seldom more than once or twice per year. It always gave me the reboot I needed till the next time.
 
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