Helping a colleague?

[HavocXphere]

I've got a tricky situation where I could use some outside input / thoughts / perspective.

Suppose you've got a colleague that is
1) Vaguely friendly, but not a friend in any real sense
2) Partying too hard :erm:
3) Completely out of control
4) About to crash & burn hard, both personally & professionally
5) Doesn't seem to give a f (see #2)

Assume minimal effect on me regardless of outcome aside from minor reputation damage by indirect association.

My instinct is to get involved & try to salvage this, yet there is an alarming vibe of "inevitable" in this regardless of my actions. I've heard vague hints of previous attempts to intervene failing, but info is unreliable on that front.

How would you handle this & why?

[Legit answers only pls]

 

[Nerfherder]

That's tough, been in a similar situation before and the problem is is always worse than you realise. It's like an iceberg.
You need to look after your self first, so if their actions are affecting your job you need to take action. Otherwise you just need to show them how bad it looks like from where you are... Just give them preservative.

They need to want help

 

[Jet-Fighter7700]

Same as above,

Although I'd try to catch them in a quiet moment away from anybody else, and try understand there reasoning,
Then suggest steps to improve, slowly,

Always difficult situation and not easy to handle always, but definetly doable,

Maybe try make it like a "freindly" thing, like invite them for a coffee outside or something, and try to understand and offer help (if possible).

That's what I'd do if i was in your place,
As somebody told me, "our purpose on earth is to help people, if we can't do that then at least don't harm them"

 

[Pho3nix]

You said not friend.
Personally, focus on your own stuff. Meddling in other people's business very rarely works out.

A tad selfish maybe but if they want the help, then assist but don't ASSUME they want it. Some lessons are learnt the hard way.

 

[syntax]

depends on the colleague relationship.
If we worked in the same team I might have a very casual kind of chat with them.

But i agree with Phoenix, its probably better to stay out of it.
they are probably very unlikely to listen to anything you have to say, and you might end up being asked to cover for them / get involved in other ways.

If it was a proper friend obviously this changes things

 

[HavocXphere]

Thanks all

They need to want help

Good point - and sadly I feel this crucial element is missing.

Meddling in other people's business very rarely works out.

Yes. Just makes me feel so sad - guy is on a great career path...just needs to keep his sht together.

depends on the colleague relationship.
If we worked in the same team

Same level as I am, but never work together as we lead separate teams.

invite them for a coffee outside or something, and try to understand and offer help (if possible).

Will try this. The more I think about it the more I feel its a lost cause though.

 

[TofuMofu]

You'll have to judge his character.

Some people need to be helped and some people are a lost case.

I've tried helping people before and they just carry on in their destructive path and that just makes me feel like a knob.

But when you actually get through to someone it feels good. It just depends on the character.

 

[HavocXphere]

You'll have to judge his character.

This comment kinda settled it.

Thanks all.

 

[Rickster]

Don't make his problem yours.